Emotion, Seduction and Intimacy: Alternative Perspectives on Organisation Behaviour

309 Pages·2007·0.92 MB·English

by  Doctor Rory Ridley-Duff

Silent Revolution Series

Emotion
Seduction and
Intimacy
Alternative Perspectives on
Organisation Behaviour

First Edition

© Dr Rory Ridley-Duff, 2006
Social Exchange Ltd

Edited by Dr Poonam Thapa
Kama Leela Ltd

Published by Men’s Hour Books, 2007
© Dr Rory Ridley-Duff, 2006
All rights reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this
publication may be made without written permission except as
defined below.
No material may be reused except in accordance with the
provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, or
under the terms of any licence permitting limited copying issued
by the Copyright Licensing Agency, 90 Tottenham Court Road,
London W1T 4LP.
Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this
publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims
for damages.
Rory Ridley-Duff has asserted his right to be identified as the
author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs
and Patents Acts 1988.
Commissioned by Social Exchange Ltd, www.socialexchange.org.
Social Exchange Logo by Natasha Ridley-Duff.

ISBN-10: 0-9754300-1-7
ISBN-13: 978-0-9754300-1-9

Published by Men’s Hour Books, the world's first true men's
publisher, www.menshourbooks.com.
Email: [email protected]
Printed in England by Antony Rowe Ltd, Eastbourne
Also by Rory Ridley-Duff
from Men’s Hour Books

Friends or Lovers

For every man who has lost love, and every woman who
is searching for it…
Penny Leyton is one smart sexy woman on her way to the top.
Bridget Jones she certainly is not, but she has the same chaotic
approach to romance. Just as she is breaking through the glass
ceiling, her boss Dave Stockton hints at a workplace scandal.
Ablaze with moral outrage, Penny realises too late that one of her
own friends is implicated and that she herself is part of the
problem. Can she untangle herself from a hidden web of intrigue
and save herself?

"When Rory first sent me his book to review, I sent him my advice for a
happy life - always be in the pursuit of pleasure. One of the things I said
was that I looked to men to be my friends and lovers but preferably not
at the same time - good friends are forever, good lovers not necessarily
so. I remember his response well. He said he could not imagine marrying
anyone who he did not already consider his best friend. I, on the other
hand, think everybody should be married once and then have the good
fortune to get out! Rory swears by his marriage. I enjoy my exchanges
with Rory and find many of his thoughts provocative. Friends or
Lovers does not just explore and critique the combustible situations that
ignite the workplace, it dares to celebrate them. This novel is the story of
a women standing on the edge of the precipice of her life, her humanity
long lost. Will she take the right track in the face of adversity? It is now
for me to know and for you the reader to find out... Here is a clue...
there is affinity, lots of adventure and wonderful banter. Anyone who
cares about love will give this book to a friend or lover, partner or
spouse, sister or brother".

Dr Poonam Thapa
Gender, Culture and Sexual Health Expert
Available August 2007

Contents
Contents
Introduction.................................................................................i
Acknowledgements...........................................................................i
Foreword - Dr Poonam Thapa...........................................................iii
Foreword – Caroline Ridley-Duff.......................................................iv
Rory’s Response..............................................................................vi
Winning and Losing...............................................................vii
The Story So Far…...............................................................viii
The Science of Emotion..........................................................xi
My Personal Concerns and Interests.......................................xii
The Structure of the Book...............................................................xv
Chapter 1 – In the Beginning…….............................................1
Overview........................................................................................1
A Perspective on Sexism..................................................................3
No Sex Please – We’re British!.................................................7
Setting the Agenda for Equality...............................................9
To the Reader......................................................................11
Chapter 2 – What are Emotions?............................................16
Overview......................................................................................16
Emotional Knowledge....................................................................20
Emotion, Seduction and Intimacy
Pavlov’s Dogs.......................................................................21
The Three Key Areas of the Brain...........................................23
Stories of Emotional Intelligence............................................24
Some Personal Stories...........................................................27
Emotional Defence and Emotion Management.........................28
Emotion, Blame and Social Status..........................................30
Emotion and Perception........................................................31
Emotion and Sense-Making....................................................33
Emotional Sensitivity and Performance...................................35
Summary......................................................................................36
Chapter 3 - Friendship and Flirting........................................39
Introduction..................................................................................39
What is Seduction?........................................................................42
Defining Seduction and Intimacy............................................49
Seduction and Emotion.........................................................52
Seduction in Business.....................................................................53
Summarising the Seduction Process.................................................56
Defining Intimacy.................................................................57
Corporate Seduction.......................................................................60
Perspectives on Culture Management.....................................60
Contradictions in Corporate Seduction....................................61
Recruitment.........................................................................62
The Effects of Supply and Demand.........................................65
Induction.............................................................................66
Formal Company Events........................................................68
Consultations.......................................................................69
Seduction in the Sales Process........................................................71
Contents
What Happens if the Seduction Fails?..............................................74
The Paradox of ‘Caring’.........................................................75
Management Knowledge and Seduction.................................77
Summary......................................................................................78
Chapter 4 - Control and Discipline........................................85
Overview......................................................................................85
Why Control and Discipline?...........................................................89
Threats to Equity and Reciprocity...................................................92
Stories of Discipline and Control.....................................................93
Hearing the Characters Speak for Themselves........................96
Brenda and Ben on Each Other.............................................97
Feelings and Motives During Disciplining........................................104
Diane’s Motives...................................................................105
Brenda’s Motives.................................................................106
Harry’s Motives...................................................................106
Ben’s Motives......................................................................107
Some Thoughts on the Conflict ............................................108
The Impacts of Disciplining..................................................109
Social Influence During Disputes....................................................110
A Second Case.............................................................................112
Exploring the Company History.............................................113
The Dynamics of Discipline and Control..........................................118
An Alternative..............................................................................121
The Mondragon Cooperatives...............................................122
The Impacts of Mondragon’s Governance System..................126
Summary.....................................................................................128
Emotion, Seduction and Intimacy
Chapter 5 – Leaders and Followers.....................................132
Introduction................................................................................132
The Five Components of Power.....................................................140
Bottom Up and Top Down Leaders................................................141
Debating the Process of Leadership......................................144
Laughter Dynamics.............................................................146
Hazing and Harassment......................................................148
The Power of Passivity........................................................150
Definitional Problems with ‘Harassment’................................152
A Second Case.............................................................................154
An Alternative Explanation...................................................157
Reconsidering the Nature of Leadership................................160
Summary....................................................................................162
Chapter 6 – Sexual Conflict..................................................166
Introduction................................................................................166
A Story of Sexual Conflict.............................................................167
First Cause for Concern.......................................................171
Banter Over Lunch..............................................................172
The End Game...................................................................174
Management Intervention...................................................176
Obtaining Legal Advice........................................................179
The Legal Position..............................................................180
Discussion..........................................................................182
The Impact of the Women’s Movement................................184
Confronting the Double-Standard..................................................185
The Double-Standard – A Personal Journey...........................190
Contents
From Personal to Professional..............................................192
The Reaction to Raising Concerns.........................................194
The Current State of the Gender Equality Debate...................196
Controlling ‘People Like Phil’..........................................................196
The Roots of the Double-Standard........................................198
Obstacles to Resolving Sexual Conflicts..........................................199
Are Men ‘Naturally’ Violent?.................................................200
Cultural Images of Violence During Courtship........................201
The Impact of Beliefs about Violence....................................203
The “Problem” of Courtship..................................................204
Impacts on Gender Conflict..................................................205
The Level of Truthful Allegations..........................................207
How Can Managers Respond?..............................................207
Summary.....................................................................................208
Chapter 7 – Coping Strategies..............................................214
An Introduction............................................................................214
The Impacts of Intimacy at Work...................................................216
Carol and Richard................................................................218
Tackling the Intimacy “Problem”...........................................220
The Hypocrisy of “Professionalism”.......................................223
Secrecy and Power..............................................................224
Harassment........................................................................225
The Centrality of Sexuality............................................................226
Patterns in the Data............................................................228
The Case for Change....................................................................231
New Approaches to Handling Conflict....................................232
The Case for Mediation........................................................234
Emotion, Seduction and Intimacy
Compulsion and Conflict......................................................235
Broader Political Issues.................................................................236
Leaders, Performers and Followers.......................................240
Powerful Relationships are Tolerant......................................242
Chapter 8 - Closing Thoughts…. .........................................247
Conclusions.................................................................................247
Appendix A – Body Language .............................................249
Introduction................................................................................249
Speech Code...............................................................................252
Vocal Code.................................................................................256
Body Language Code...................................................................259
Facial Code..................................................................................264
Bibliography, References and Recommended Reading....268
For Those With a Casual or Professional Interest............................268
For Those With a Strong or Academic Interest................................270
Index.......................................................................................276