Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage

123 Pages·2007·0.52 MB·english

by  William Glasser

E I G H T
L E S S O N S
– F O R A –
HAPPIER
MARRIAGE
William Glasser, M.D.,
and Carleen Glasser, M.A.
To our married children
Alice and Jesse
Martin and Pamela
Jana and Michael
Terry and Barbara G.
May you each live a long and happy life together!
g

— CO NTENT S —
Preface vii
Foreword ix
Introduction 1
LESSON ONE
External Control Can Kill a Marriage 11
LESSON TWO
We Choose All Our Behavior 23
LESSON THREE
Never Use the Seven Deadly Habits 33
LESSON FOUR
Get Acquainted with Each Other’s Quality World 43
LESSON FIVE
Understand Total Behavior 55
– iii –
Contents
LESSON SIX
A Little Creativity Can Save Your Marriage 65
LESSON SEVEN
At Your Discretion, Share What You Are Doing for Your Marriage
with Your Children 75
LESSON EIGHT
Try New Ways to Improve Your Sexual Intimacy 95
A Final Word 101
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Other Books by William Glasser, M.D., and Carleen Glasser, M.A.
Credits
Cover
Copyright
About the Publisher
– iv –
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— ILLUSTRATIONS —
“I think I can do better, should I settle for second best?” ix
“How can I keep the house clean without whining
and complaining all day?” 6
“Why is it always my fault?” 17
“My husband thrives on putting people down.
His favorite saying is, ‘Anybody can do that!’” 29
“I think having a baby is a private affair, but my husband wants to
make a big production of it—like he’s Spielberg!” 38
“Do I really need all these pills?” 50
“My wife looks at the world through rose-colored glasses
and sugarcoats everything. Am I a stick-in-the-mud?” 60
– v –
Illustrations
“My husband cares more about the dog than me!” 70
“My husband stares dumbfounded at every pretty girl.
Is it O.K. to clobber him?” 91
– vi –
g

— PREFACE —
W
illiam and Carleen Glasser have combined their
knowledge of functioning marriages and failed mar-
riages, all under the umbrella of William Glasser’s Choice
Theory, to present Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage. Eight
Lessons begins with the fundamental truth that the only person
you can change is yourself. You cannot make your spouse
change. The more you try, the more unhappiness you create.
Eight Lessons builds on that foundation with the elements of
successful marriages, the elements of failed marriages, and
the insight to recognize the differences. Correcting an off-
course marriage may only require a few adjustments. The
secret is recognizing the adjustments that can be made and
not attempting to force adjustments that cannot be forced.
– vii –
Preface
This book is clear, direct, and accessible. A great concept does
not require a lot of words.
I have been a divorce lawyer for thirty years. I have repre-
sented many people with great wealth whose marital problems
were not financial and for whom no amount of money could
fix those problems. In Eight Lessons, I recognize the patterns of
marital failure that I have seen over and over. I suspect that
many of those failed marriages could have been saved if those
couples had read and applied the Eight Lessons long before
their marriages had withered.
Bruce A. Clemens, Esq.
Beverly Hills, California
2007
– viii –