Disagreements, Disputes, and All-Out War: Three Simple Steps for Dealing with Any Kind of Conflict

241 Pages·2007·3.56 MB·English

by  Gini Graham Scott Ph.D.

More Praise for Disagreements,
Disputes, and All-Out War
‘‘Scottlaysoutasimple—butnotsimplistic—approachtoconflict
resolution.She provideslots ofexamples, assessments, andideas
that should help anyone who even takes a little time to read and
applyhermethod.’’
—RickMaurer,authorofWhyDon’tYouWantWhatIWant?
‘‘The book provides us with clear directions on how to resolve all
kindsofpersonalandbusinessconflicts,drawinguponacompre-
hensivearrayofpractical,academic,andintuitiveresources.’’
—ShariDunn,ManagingPrincipal,CompAnalysis
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Disagreements, Disputes, and
All-Out War
3 Simple Steps for
Dealing with Any Kind of Conflict
Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D.
American Management Association
New York • Atlanta • Brussels • Chicago • Mexico City • San Francisco
Shanghai • Tokyo • Toronto • Washington, D.C.
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Scott,GiniGraham.
Disagreements,disputes,andall-outwar:3simplestepsfordealingwithanykindof
conflict/GiniGrahamScott.
p. cm.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN-13:978–0-8144–8063–2
ISBN-10:0–8144–8063–2
1.Conflictmanagement.2.Interpersonalconflict.3.Conflict(Psychology).I.Title.
HD42.S356 2008
303.6’9—dc22 2007017660
(cid:2)2008GiniGrahamScott,Ph.D.
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Thispublicationmaynotbereproduced,
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To everyone who has shared their conflicts
with me in seeking assistance.
Helping them resolve their conflicts helped me to develop
the conflict resolution model described in this book.
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Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi
Section One:
The Emotional-Rational-Intuitive (E-R-I) Method
Chapter1: ManagingConflictwiththeE-R-IModel 3
Chapter2: DealingwiththeEmotions 11
Chapter3: UsingYourReason 22
Chapter4:WorkingwithYourIntuition 32
Section Two:
Handling the Emotions
Chapter5:Recognizing theReasonsforaConflict 41
Chapter6:DealingwithYourOwnAngersandFears 61
Chapter7:AvoidingtheResponsibilityTrap 76
vii
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viii ✧ CONTENTS
Section Three:
Applying Your Reason
Chapter8:OvercomingConflictsThroughBetter
Communication 95
Chapter9:UnderstandingtheDifferentConflictStyles 114
Chapter10:ChoosingtheBestConflictStyle 131
Chapter11:NegotiatingWin-WinSolutions 146
Chapter12:Learning toDeal withDifficultPeople 163
Section Four:
Using Your Intuition to Discover New Possibilities
Chapter13:ComingUpwithAlternativesandSolutions 187
Chapter14:Turning YourConflictsintoCreativeOpportunities 204
Index 217
AbouttheAuthor 225
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Acknowledgments
My thanks to the Community Boards of San Francisco, where I was a
volunteer for several years on their conflict resolution panels and first
becameinterestedinthisfield.
ix
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