Different Voice, Different Perspective: An arts-based and evocative research response to original

146 Pages·2017·8.05 MB·English

Southern Cross University
ePublications@SCU
Theses
2013
Different Voice, Different Perspective: An arts-
based and evocative research response to original
voice narratives of suicide
Michael John Eales
Southern Cross University
Publication details
Eales, MJ 2013, 'Different voice, different perspective : an arts-based and evocative research response to original voice narratives of
suicide', PhD thesis, Southern Cross University, Lismore NSW.
Copyright MJ Eales 2013
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Different Voice Different Perspective
An Arts-based and Evocative Research Response
to
Original Voice Narratives of Suicide
Michael John Eales
A thesis submitted for the Doctor of Philosophy,
Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences,
Southern Cross University
2013
Certificate of Authorship and Originality
I certify that this thesis has not previously been submitted for any degree nor is it
currently being submitted for any other degree or qualification.
I certify that this thesis has been written by me. Any help that I have received in my
research and in the preparation of the thesis has been acknowledged. I also certify
that all information and literature sources used have been acknowledged herein.
Signature of Candidate
................................................................................................
Michael (Mic) John Eales
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Acknowledging the support
The courage shown by many who chose to reveal their stories has been a
cherished gift and has given me strength to keep telling my own stories. Few of those stories made
it into these pages or into the artworks, but they helped to inform the direction of the works
included in the Inspired Lives: Discovering Life in Imagination exhibition held at the Dax Centre in
Melbourne in 2012. The openness and willingness of Jessica Raschke and Baden Offord to allow
me into their lives to re-present their stories humbled me and for that I am eternally grateful. Both
have become treasured friends and have helped me to find and articulate my own voice. Amy
Middleton, our insider within The Dax Centre, was the alchemist who turned the concept of a
lead sculpture into a golden opportunity to talk about the issue of suicide to the broader
community. Her tenacity is legendary as is her compassion and friendship.

This project would not have been possible if it had not been for the support, encouragement and
drive of suicidologist Dr. Erminia Colucci. Her faith and confidence in me was exhibited when she
invited me to show and speak about my work, too few ladders, at a World Association of Cultural
Psychiatry Congress in Italy. Our interdisciplinary relationship continues to forge new ground in
the understanding of the suicidal mind. Erminia’s friendship has helped me maintain balance in
times when I could easily have defaulted and walked away.
To Tony Gee and Sally de Beche, who have encouraged and supported me since our first meeting,
I give my most sincere thanks. Their attitude and approach to life and humanity is an example to
all. To Alice Baroni, I am indebted for her support and insight in helping me traverse some dark
and disturbing landscapes. To my friend Jenni Harris, I say a heartfelt, ‘Thank You’.
Without my supervisors, Dr Janie Conway Herron, Dr Lexi Cutcher and Dr Maree Bracker, I
would have floundered and tossed it in long ago. Their faith and confidence in me has been
unfaltering. Their support, guidance and gentle maneuvering helped give me confidence in the
direction and style I have chosen to take within this dissertation. I have been incredibly fortunate
to have such a wise and talented group as my counsel. I make special mention of Maree as she has
helped guide my sculptural career since I first became a student in 2000 and was instrumental in
my passion for installation art.
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My relationship with Southern Cross University has spanned more than a decade and in that time
I have seen many changes, but the one constant has been the support I have received from the
entire spectrum of its community. The Ethics committee, in particular, made what could have
been a very difficult and complex process one in which I felt encouraged and supported. Their
primary concern was for my wellbeing. The granting of an APA scholarship helped significantly to
open up opportunities that would have otherwise been impossible. Funds from the School of Arts
and Social Sciences also helped enormously. Financial and in-kind support was also provided by
Kyogle Council, Maslen Brothers Earthmoving and Lismore Bowl. To all I am extremely grateful.

The soul is said to live
within the lotus. Over the years, the friendship and help offered by Gary Morganson, Mark Searle and Michael
Since first using the Lotus in my Moynihan in the Visual Arts department at Southern
artworks, they have moved from Cross University has been crucial in assisting me
representing cultural aspects of suicide
achieve the level of success I have enjoyed. Gary’s
amongst women in rural China to taking
aesthetic sensibilities in particular, helped by
on a more universal and spiritually
providing a different perspective and hence balance
symbolic meaning –
and meaning to the works. Dawn Thirlaway provided
a symbol of promise for humanity to rise
me with an ear into which I could rant and rave and
out of the primordial mud of life and
a friendship that has helped keep me sane. David
as an acknowledgement of
the cycle of life, one that Webb continues to be an enormous source of
is ever-changing. inspiration and was there to support me through my
own dark night of the soul.
There have been numerous people from within the
fields of suicide prevention and postvention who
have generously offered much kindness and
encouragement. To my loyal band of groupies who
supported me and believed in the power of art to
make a difference I am incredibly grateful. For her
amazing editorial skills that helped fashion this
document into something quite extraordinary I give
Amy Junor my generous thanks and appreciation.
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My extended family have all been incredibly supportive and encouraging in ways that went far
beyond what I sought or expected. They surrounded me with their love to keep me safe and
maintained a watchful eye despite difficulties in their own lives. To my wife, Alison, and daughters,
Taryn and Elise, I say, ‘Thank You’. You have been willing companions every step of the way.
Without your unquestioning love, generous hearts and your unwavering belief in me, I would not
be here today. I am now Papa to two wonderful grandchildren; if I had taken my own life as I had
planned to, I would not have had the opportunity to enjoy and be exhausted by them. Life is full
of strange twists and turns; I have been blessed with a family who do not necessarily understand
my obsession with suicide, but love me despite it.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that globally, one person takes their own life
every 40 seconds and that approximately 20 times that number attempt (2013). The artworks that I
have created and this exegesis are dedicated to those individuals who feel the pain of life far too
overwhelming to continue living. It is also dedicated to the millions of people who are affected in
one way or another by the pain, despair and anguish caused by suicide. My hope is that through
my artworks, the stories of suicide and people’s ability to live inspired lives after such an attempt,
will encourage greater understanding and empathy for the suicidal mind and help to unlock some
of its mysteries.
The images within these pages are all my own unless otherwise specified or acknowledged.
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Abstract
What does being in a suicidal crisis feel like and how can it be expressed?
What drives someone to create artworks about people’s experiences of suicide? Why would an
individual repeatedly assault their psyche by exploring new ways to express the trauma and pain of
suicide? Where does the motivation to express resilience, playfulness and hope for the future
within those same artworks come from?
This creative thesis explores some of the difficult questions inherent within the phenomena of
suicide by helping to unwrap personal narratives in a sensitive way. Visual translations of my lived
experience of suicide and that of others are expressed as re-interpreted memories within embodied
experience. This studio-based biographical research approach consciously incorporates suicide’s
lived experience, both of the researcher and collaborators, into the artworks to communicate a
deeper awareness of the consequences that suicide has upon individuals, families and the
community. Despite the research carried out relating to suicide, there is a serious dearth of study
undertaken by suicide attempt survivors themselves. This dissertation aims to address the void that
exists within suicidology and to give voice to the lived experience of suicide from a range of
cultural and socio-cultural perspectives.
The methodologies of dadirri (Deep Listening) and evocative research have been partnered as a
platform from which to create a series of installation-based artefacts that respond imaginatively and
poetically to original voice narratives of the lived experience of suicide. Each narrative representation
utilises specific combinations of media, through which meaning is symbolically conveyed and
expressed. This complex process of weaving together embedded layers of memory and experience
acts as a device to express and provide meaning to specific narratives. The researcher’s role is that
of the storyteller, expressing stories that are emotive, reflect on our humanity and provide insight
into the human condition. The processes of watching, listening, waiting and then acting, within
the studio practice of this research, ensure that individual artworks are unique to the narrative
being expressed. In a similar way, the same processes are involved in the creation of this exegesis
and require that it also be read as an artwork. The acknowledgement of artworks and exegesis
working in partnership with one another ensures that a visual and textural dialogue is created to
enhance insight and encourage embodied knowing.
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Inspired Lives: Discovering Life in Imagination exhibition, October 2012, The Dax Centre
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An orientation for the reader
There is much symbolism embedded within the form of this work as a
deliberate means to convey embodied information. This has been expressed throughout this
exegesis through the layout, caption-less images and the positioning of journal entries and
citations. This intentionally breaks with traditional conventions as a device to highlight the
difficulty in understanding the complexity and unpredictability of someone in a suicidal crisis. It
should be noted that the document is not intended to be read as a linear progression, hence the
exclusion of chapter numbers, however, it can be. These devices have been purposefully utilized to
emphasise that there is nothing linear about living through and experiencing a suicidal crisis nor is
one’s mind neatly ordered or constructed whilst experiencing such a crisis. A suicidal crisis is just
that, a life or death crisis in which there appears, to the onlooker, to be no logic. A key function
within this work and with arts-based research in general is that the form of the work is
intentionally designed to disrupt, provoke and challenge the reader. This exegesis does so by being
a multi-vocal, multi-layered, non-linear document. Through deliberately disrupting the flow of the
reading and troubling the reader’s perception of what is expected within this research document
my intention has been to symbolically draw attention to the difficulty society at large has in
discussing and understanding the issue.
By stepping outside of conventional research structures within this document my aim has been to
explore and represent the complex realities and emotional pain of the suicide phenomena. The use
of experimental and intuitive research devices enabled engagement in a personal and collaborative
inquiry that acts as a catalyst for awareness and to open up opportunities for increased reflection
on the issue. I invite the reader to also engage with this document and the described artworks with
an open mind, without preconceived notions of what it should look like. One of the major
objectives of this research has been to find ways that can invite new meaning making around the
issue of suicide, to develop empathy for the suicidal mind and to engage with diverse audiences to
help them better understand their own relationship with the issue.
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Many of the images presented within the exegesis do not have captions. This is an intentional
device. As an artist I rely heavily on the imagination and part of my role as such is to stimulate the
readers imagination. Much of the text surrounding each image alludes to that image and how it
relates to the overall context of the exegesis. It is up to the reader, in an active reading, to interpret
the images. It is also important to note that similarly, visions of potential artworks often appear to
me as fragments in my mind’s eye, these are simply shards of an idea which when followed through
and researched, emerge as completed works. These fragments, like my thoughts of suicide, often
present themselves with little warning or explanation. This aspect of suicidality is important to
acknowledge and notice.
To conclude, the following document has been designed to engage with and challenge the reader.
The reader is also asked to immerse themselves in the translation and transference of cultural and
personal information pertaining to the issue of suicide with an unprejudiced and receptive mind.
Thank you
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