Dancing with Fear: Controlling Stress and Creating a Life Beyond Panic and Anxiety

315 Pages·2006·3.78 MB·English

by  Ph.D. Paul Foxman Ph.D.

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dancing with fear
Praise for the First Edition of Dancing with Fear
“There have been endless books written by countless authors on the subject
of anxiety and how best to identify and cope with its paralyzing manifesta-
tions. What makes Dancing with Fear so special and so welcome is that
Paul Foxman speaks eloquently and intelligently to the two key people
involved in accomplishing full recovery from this insidious problem: the
sufferer and his therapist. Because Dr. Foxman knows, firsthand, what gut-
wrenching anxiety feels like, he never minimizes its impact nor does he
hide his own humanness behind his degree. It become obvious from the
first chapter that Dr. Foxman is a consummate professional who, thank
heavens, can honestly teach from his heart.”
— Ann Seagrave
coauthor of Free from Fears
“Dr. Foxman’s book, Dancing with Fear, is a comprehensive and compas-
sionate overview of the most crippling of our ‘social diseases’—fear—with
a wealth of practical approaches to loosening its hold on us. The work will
find a wide and appreciative audience.”
— Joseph Chilton Pearce
author of Magical Child, The Crack in the Cosmic Egg,
The Biology of Transcendence, and Evolution’s End
“For anybody who recognizes that stress can’t be avoided, only managed,
psychologist Paul Foxman’s Dancing with Fear is a splendid resource.
Dr. Foxman delivers the coping tools and techniques all the more effec-
tively for his wisdom, compassion, insight, and graceful prose.”
— John Stickney
Senior Features Editor, Fitness magazine
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“This book by Dr. Paul Foxman has all but paved the path to peace, the
way to freedom from anxiety. He offers a clear exposition of what severe
anxiety is, where it comes from, and what to do about it. He shares his
personal experience with trauma and anxiety, as well as his understand-
ings gained from decades of helping others. Is his easy style, Dr. Foxman
provides unlimited hope and specific information on how anxiety can be
overcome.”
— John R. Pullen, Ph.D., National Director of CHAANGE
(Center for Help for Anxiety/Agoraphobia
through New Growth Experiences)
www.chaange.com
Praise for the New Edition of Dancing with Fear
“Undoubtedly the finest book ever on this topic. …You will feel greatly
rewarded by reading this best of all possible books on anxiety and its cure.
You will be excited by this powerful book.”
— John R. Pullen, Ph.D., National Director of CHAANGE
www.chaange.com
“Paul Foxman offers not only inspiration and hope, but also a practical
road map that explores the various aspects of recovery from anxiety. Read-
ers will be in good hands as Foxman compassionately shares his hard-won
wisdom, starting with the sometimes-brutal origins of his own anxiety and
continuing with his personal and professional journeys. This timely book
is a godsend to those struggling to find inner peace in an ever-shrinking
world of accelerating changes.”
— Erika B. Hilliard, MSW, RSW
author of Living Fully with Shyness and Social Anxiety
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Dedication
For Sheryl, my wife and soul mate, whose companionship and love
have been the best rewards for facing my fears. And for my two
children, Kali Dawn and Leah Sunset, who are my greatest pride
and joy.
Important note
The material in this book is intended to provide a review of information
regarding anxiety. Every effort has been made to provide accurate and
dependable information. The contents of this book have been compiled
through professional research and in consultation with medical profes-
sionals. However, mental-health professionals have differing opinions,
and advances in medical and scientific research are made very quickly, so
some of the information may become outdated.
Therefore, the publisher, author, and editors, as well as the profession-
als quoted in the book, cannot be held responsible for any error, omission,
or dated material. The author and publisher assume no responsibility for
any outcome of applying the information in this book in a program of
self-care or under the care of a licensed practitioner. If you have questions
concerning anxiety or about the application of the information described
in this book, consult a qualified mental-health professional.
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orderIng
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For details please contact:
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dancing with fear
Controlling Stress and Creating a Life
Beyond Panic and Anxiety
Second Edition
paul Foxman, ph.d.
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Copyright © 2007 by Paul Foxman, Ph.D.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and
recording, or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system without
the written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher of this book. Brief
quotations may be used in reviews prepared for inclusion in a magazine,
newspaper, or for broadcast. For further information please contact:
Hunter House Inc., Publishers
PO Box 2914
Alameda CA 94501-0914
lIbrary oF Congress CatalogIng-In-publICatIon data
Foxman, Paul.
Dancing with fear : controlling stress and creating a life beyond panic and
anxiety / Paul Foxman. — 2nd ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-0-89793-476-3 (pbk.)
ISBN-10: 0-89793-476-8 (pbk.)
1. Anxiety. 2. Fear. 3. Stress (Psychology) 4. Stress management. I. Title.
BF575.A6F68 2006
152.4'6—dc22 2006030063
projeCt CredIts
Cover Design: Brian Dittmar Graphic Design
Book Production: Hunter House, Jinni Fontana
Developmental and Copy Editor: Jude Berman
Proofreader: Herman Leung
Indexer: Nancy D. Peterson
Interns: Blair Cavagrotti, Faith Merino
Acquisitions Editor: Jeanne Brondino
Editor: Alexandra Mummery
Senior Marketing Associate: Reina Santana
Customer Service Manager: Christina Sverdrup
Order Fulfillment: Washul Lakdhon
Administrator: Theresa Nelson
Computer Support: Peter Eichelberger
Publisher: Kiran S. Rana
Printed and Bound by Bang Printing, Brainerd, Minnesota
Manufactured in the United States of America
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Second Edition 07 08 09 10 11
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Contents
Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xii
preface to the new edition......................................... xiv
acknowledgments................................................. xvii
Introduction....................................................... 1
part I: Insight: how to understand anxiety
Chapter 1: my anxiety story ....................................... 9
Chapter 2: What Is anxiety?........................................ 15
What Is Anxiety and Why Is It So Prevalent Today?
The Anatomy of Fear
Differences Between Animal and Human Survival Reactions
The Role of Stress in Anxiety
Strong Emotions and the Fight/Flight Response
Thought Patterns and Anxiety
Conclusion
Chapter 3: the anxiety disorders.................................. 25
Panic Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety
Specific Phobia
Separation Anxiety
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Acute Stress Disorder
Anxiety Associated with Medical Conditions
Substance-Induced Anxiety Disorder
Depression and Anxiety
Conclusion
vii
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viii Dancing with Fear
Chapter 4: the three Key Ingredients in anxiety disorders ....... 44
Biological Sensitivity
The Anxiety Personality Style
The Anxiety Personality Self-Test
The Positive Side of the Anxiety Personality Style
Stress Overload
The Life Change Scale
Conclusion
Chapter 5: how anxiety develops ................................. 64
Inadequate Bonding
Separation Anxiety in Childhood
Emotional Repression/Inhibition
Critical Parenting
Alcoholism or Drug Abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Divorce
Limited Mind-Body Knowledge, Including of Sexuality
Anxiety in Parents
Stress in Parents and Families
Other Background Issues
Conclusion
part II: strategies and skills for Creating a life beyond anxiety
Chapter 6: Controlling stress ...................................... 85
The Effects of Uncontrolled Stress
Anabolism and Catabolism
The Stages of Stress
Complete and Incomplete Stress Recovery
The Triple-S Approach to Stress Control
Conclusion
Chapter 7: don’t just do something, sit there..................... 100
Resistance to Relaxation
Relaxed Equilibrium
The Relaxation Response
Meditation
Conclusion
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