Creative anger: putting that powerful emotion to good use

255 Pages·2007·0.98 MB·English

by  Rhoda Baruch

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CREATIVE ANGER
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CREATIVE ANGER
Putting That Powerful Emotion
to Good Use
RhodaBaruch, EdithH.Grotberg,and
Suzanne Stutman
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Baruch,Rhoda,1925–
Creativeanger:puttingthatpowerfulemotiontogooduse/RhodaBaruch,Edith
H.Grotberg,andSuzanneStutman.
p. cm.
Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN978–0–275–99874–5(alk.paper)
1.Anger. I.Grotberg,EdithHenderson,1928– II.Stutman,Suzanne.
III.Title.
BF575.A5B373 2008
(cid:1)
152.47—dc22 2007026122
BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationDataisavailable.
Copyright(cid:2)C 2008byRhodaBaruch,EdithH.Grotberg,andSuzanneStutman
Allrightsreserved.Noportionofthisbookmaybe
reproduced,byanyprocessortechnique,withoutthe
expresswrittenconsentofthepublisher.
LibraryofCongressCatalogCardNumber:2007026122
ISBN-13:978–0–275–99874–5
Firstpublishedin2008
PraegerPublishers,88PostRoadWest,Westport,CT06881
AnimprintofGreenwoodPublishingGroup,Inc.
http://www.praeger.com
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
Thepaperusedinthisbookcomplieswiththe
PermanentPaperStandardissuedbytheNational
InformationStandardsOrganization(Z39.48–1984).
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Contents
Acknowledgments vii
Chapter1 SkillsforCreativeAnger:RETHINK 1
Chapter2 RETHINKingAngerIsGoodforYourHealth 21
Chapter3 RETHINKingAngerIsGoodforYour
Relationships 37
Chapter4 RecognizeAngerinYourselfandinOthers 57
Chapter5 HearwithEmpathy 73
Chapter6 AngerinCouples 87
Chapter7 AngerintheFamily 107
Chapter8 AngerintheWorkplace 127
Chapter9 FriendsandAnger,andAngerinthe
Community 147
Chapter10 TheAnger-ViolenceConnection 163
Chapter11 CulturalDifferences 181
Chapter12 ChangeComesfromPractice 197
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vi Contents
Chapter13 RegainingaSenseofPersonalPower 215
FurtherReading 233
Index 235
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Acknowledgments
If we could we would acknowledge all the people, organizations, media
professionals, and publishers who have made this book possible. But that
wouldtakeachapterinitself!So,wehaveselectedafewfromavarietyof
professions and disciplines to describe the scope and wealth of resources
availabletotheauthors.
The media has been a major partner in disseminating RETHINK in-
formation,includingconferenceswithwriters,producers,andtechnicians.
The outstanding figure in that area is Leonard B. Stern. His background
intelevision,includingthreeEmmyAwards,aWritersGuildofAmerican
Award, and many others, was instrumental in incorporating RETHINK
into television programming. He formed Tallfellow, Inc., in 1996, which
functionsasanindependentstorydepartmentforstudios,publishers,and
independent production companies. He was Media Editor of Dialogue:
InsightstoHumanEmotionsforCreativeProfessions,aquarterlypublication
oftheInstituteforMentalHealthInitiatives(IMHI),foundedbyRhoda
Baruch, with Suzanne Stutman and Edith Grotberg as colleagues. And
Laurie Beckelman merits special thanks, as she helped us communicate
ourmessagestothepublicthroughherexquisitewritingforDialogueand
othermaterials.ThesupplementaryworkofartdirectoranddesignerEllen
Shapiro helped Dialogue win repeated awards, including several from the
NationalAssociationofMentalHealthInformationOfficers,NAMIO.
Intheareaofcognitionandemotions, i.e.,thinking/feeling,twoviews
aredrawn on bythe authors. Oneis from Aaron T. Beck,M.D., and the
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viii Acknowledgments
other is from Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D. Dr. Beck (Prisoners of Hate:
TheCognitiveBasisofAnger,HarperCollinsPublishers,1999)stressesthe
importance of thinking about a disturbing situation, such as one that is
anger-producing, in another, more constructive way so that the feelings
can change. RETHINK has drawn on that concept, but not totally. Dr.
Greenspanstressestheimportanceofthebasicinteractionofthinkingand
feeling in dealing with an anger-producing situation, viewing thinking
andfeelingasfunctionallyinseparable.Empathy,forexample,canchange
thinking from critical to compassionate (TheGrowthoftheMind:Andthe
EndangeredOriginsofIntelligence,Addison-Wesley,1997)andRETHINK
hasdrawnonthisconceptaswell.
The authors have been involved over the years with the following
who made major contributions to RETHINK development and appli-
cation: Parents Anonymous Association, Jewish Social Services, District
of Columbia Police and Schools, 4H Clubs, Boys and Girls Clubs of
America,NationalCenteronFamiliesandFathersoftheCaseyFounda-
tion.AndappreciationisextendedtoResearchPress,Champaign,IL,for
publishinganddistributingRETHINKmanualsandvideosonangerman-
agementforparents,children,andteens.Specialappreciationisextended
toDr.AymanEI-Mohandis,M.D.,Chairman,GeorgeWashingtonUni-
versity School of Public Health and Health Services, Washington, DC,
whobroughtIMHIintotheSchoolin2000tocontinueitswork.
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chapter 1
Skills for Creative Anger:
RETHINK
Angerisanemotion.Angerisenergy.Usingangercreativelyisputtingthat
powerfulemotion/energytogooduse.Andgooduseisincorporatedinthe
acronym,RETHINK:sevenskillsthatcanhelpyoulearnhowtomanage
yourangeranduseitcreatively.Morethantenyearsofresearch,workshops,
and programs with school systems, adult groups, and the media, make
it clear that using RETHINK anger management skills assures creative
outcomes that enrich relationships, resolve conflicts, and contribute to
physicalandemotionalhealth.
RETHINKconsistsofthesesevenskills:
R—Recognizeyourangerandwhattriggersit.
E—Empathize with the other person and put yourself in the other
person’sshoes(inotherwords,listenwithyourheart).
T—Think about the situation and your anger and try to reframe the
situation in a less angry way. Humor can help to reframe a situation
andreducetension.
H—Hear what the other person is communicating with words and
nonverbalactions.Hear(listen)withyourcompleteattention.
I—Integraterespectwithyourresponses.Use“I”statements.
N—Noticehowyourbodyreactstoyourfeelingangry.Noticehowyou
calmyourself.
K—Keepyourattentiononthepresentproblem.