Creating the Capacity for Attachment: Treating Addictions and the Alienated Self

342 Pages·1999·17.46 MB·English

by  Karen B. Walant

CREATING THE
CAPACITY FOR
ArrACHMENT

CREATING THE
CAPACITY FOR
ATTACHMENT
Treating Addictions and
the
Alienated Self
by Karen B. Walant, Ph.D.
A JASON ARONSON BOOK
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD PUBLISHERS, INC.
Lanham • Boulder • New York • Toronto • Plymouth, UK
Credits
"somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond" is reprinted from Complete Poems
1904-1962, by E. E. Cummings, edited by George]. Firmage, by permission ofW.
W. Norton & Company, copyright© 1931,1979,1991 by the Trustees for the E. E. Cum
mings Trust and George J. Firmage and by permission of the Liverright Publishing Corpora
tion, copyright© 1931, 1952, 1959, 1980, 1991, by the Trustees for the E. E. Cummings Trust,
and copyright© 1979 by George James Firmage.
Selections from uok Homeward, Ange~ by Thomas Wolfe, are reprinted with the permission of
Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Copyright © 1929 Charles Scribner's Sons;
copyright renewed© 1957 Edward C. Aswell, as administrator, C.T.A. of the Estate of Tho
mas Wolfe and I or Fred W. Wolfe. World rights: renewal copyright by Paul Gitlin, Adminis
trator, C.T. A., of the Estate of Thomas Wolfe.
Copyright ~ 1995 by Karen B. Walant
First soft cover edition 1997
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used
or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from Jason Aronson Inc.
except in the case of brief quotations in reviews for inclusion in a magazine, newspaper, or
broadcast.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Walant, Karen B.
Creating the capacity for attachment : treating addictions and the alienated self I
by Karen B. Walant.
p. em.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-7657-0240-1
1. Intimacy (Psychology). 2. Personality disorders-Treatment.
3. Substance abuse-Treatment. 4. Empathy. 5. Alienation (Social psychology).
6. Child rearing. I. Title.
RC554.W35 1995
616.89-dc20
DNLMIDLC
for Library of Congress 95-3405
8"'
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements ~f Ame~ican
National Standard for Information Sciences-Permanence of Paper for Pnnted Ltbrary
Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Printed in the United States of America
To David
for our children Anna, William, and Benjamin
and to the indissoluble bond
that awaits every moment of oneness

CONTENTS
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction xi
1. The Indissoluble Bond
2. Symbiosis Revisited 37
3. The Oneness/Separateness Paradox 73
4. The lmmersive Moment 103
5. Unlocking a Deaf Heart 139
6. Alcoholics Anonymous and Transcendence 165
7. The Power of Immersion 187
8. Point-Counterpoint and Other Treatment Issues 223
9. Working in the Immersive Transference 247
10. Gaslighting 275
References 293
Index 301

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My psychoanalytic thinking has been influenced by numerous teachers
and supervisors, most notably Jane Spivack Brown, C.S.W., whose ana·
lytic wisdom has always been most helpful. I thank Jeffrey Seinfeld, Ph.D.,
for his supervision and sharing of theoretical ideas, as well as his encour·
agement regarding expansion of my dissertation into book form. I am
grateful to New York University School of Social Work for the excellent
education and intellectual stimulation that I received throughout my
masters and Ph.D. coursework. I wish to thank Steve Rosman, Ph.D.,
M.S.C., for his ongoing interest and support. My thanks to Four Winds
Hospital in Katonah, New York, and to its chief executive officer and
executive medical director, Samuel Klagsbrun, M.D., for providing me
with a rich forum to apply and develop my theoretical ideas. In addition,
I am grateful to the late Kent Cunow, Ph.D., for his supervision and lively
clinical discussions. I also thank Marlene Bartolo for sharing her knowl·
edge and expertise.
· I wish to express gratitude to Jason Aronson, M.D., for his interest and
encouragement of this work, and to Michael Moskowitz, Ph.D., acquisi·
tions editor, Judy Cohen, production editor, and Gail Chalew, copy
editor, for their invaluable guidance, knowledge, and expertise. They have
made the process of publishing this book a truly pleasurable experience.
This book has incorporated the efforts of several family members. I am
most grateful to my mother, Beverly Gural, who was a thorough re·
searcher, proofreader, and editorial assistant, and to my father, I. Jack
Gural, who provided research back-up and ongoing support. I am hon·
ored to provide one of my grandmother's poems, "Mirror," which appears
in Chapter 4. I thank my brother, Ken Gural, for his translation of the
Baudelaire poem entitled "Enivrez·vous" at the beginning of Chapter 9.
And I thank my husband David for his ongoing support and encourage·
ment.
I wish to thank my patients, who have allowed me into their private
worlds of pain and detachment. Many of the immersive moments we have
shared together are reflected in this book and will remain embedded in my
heart. To those who have allowed me access to their personal writing, I am
especially indebted.