Coping With Premature Ejaculation: How to Overcome PE, Please Your Partner & Have Great Sex

186 Pages·2004·0.64 MB·English

by  Barry W. McCarthy PhD, Michael E. Metz PhD

Coping with
Premature Ejaculation
How to Overcome PE,
&
Please Your Partner Have Great Sex
MICHAEL E. METZ, PH.D.
BARRY W. MCCARTHY, PH.D.
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
“This is a highly readable book ... clear and concise. Drs. Metz and
McCarthy provide the latest information and present a new, inno-
vative, comprehensive, biopsychosocial approach to the treatment of
premature ejaculation, the most common male sexual disorder. I
recommend it highly.”
—Pierre Assalian, MD, director, Human Sexuality Unit,
McGill University Health Center and president of the
17th World Congress of Sexology, Montreal, 2005
“This is the most comprehensive guide to dealing with premature
ejaculation I have ever seen! It addresses subtypes, cognitive, emo-
tional, and behavioral components, medical issues, relapse, and the
ever-important influence of the couples’ relationship on the cause and
cure of this disorder. Drs. McCarthy and Metz have not only done a
great service to couples experiencing this problem, but to sex thera-
pists as well. I will definitely recommend the book to my clients and
will incorporate its exercises in my treatment protocol.”
—Jean D. Koehler, Ph.D., president, American Association
of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT)
“CopingwithPrematureEjaculationischock-fullofgreatsuggestions
for improving one’s sex life. Written by two experienced sex thera-
pists, the book offers sound advice and sensible suggestions for gain-
ing control over ejaculation and, more importantly, for becoming a
better lover!”
—Sandra R. Leiblum, Ph.D., director, Center for Sexual
& Relationship Health, UMDNJ-Robert Wood Johnson
Medical School.
“Finally, an updated, comprehensive guide for a problem that affects
millions of men and their partners. These highly respected authors in
the field of sex therapy bring years of clinical experience and insight
to these pages in a format that’s masterfully helpful. This is a great
book,andIplantorecommendittoallmypatientswhostrugglewith
premature ejaculation.”
—Dennis P. Sugrue, Ph.D., past president of the American
Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists
(AASECT) and coauthor of Sex Matters for Women.

Coping with
Premature Ejaculation
H&ow to Overcome PE,
Please Your Partner
Have Great Sex
Michael E. Metz
Barry W. McCarthy
New Harbinger Publications
Mock
Final Version
title page
Publisher’s Note
Thispublicationisdesignedtoprovideaccurateandauthoritativeinformationinregardto
the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not
engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If
expert assistanceor counseling is needed, the servicesof a competent professionalshould
be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books.
Copyright © 2003 by Michael E. Metz and Barry W. McCarthy
New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Edited by Jessica Beebe
Text design by Tracy Marie Carlson
All Rights Reserved
New Harbinger Publications’ Web site address: www.newharbinger.com
We want to express our gratitude and deep respect for the several
thousand men and couples we have clinically worked with over the
years. They invited us into their private lives, opening honestly to
their personal and sexual distress. While we can only thank them
anonymously, they have led us to develop a more comprehensive
understanding of premature ejaculation. We thank our patients who
have been the “pathfinders” for this new approach. This book pres-
ents the result of what we have learned from them and from the sci-
entific research and clinical efforts of our sex therapy colleagues. We
hopewehavelearnedwellenoughandthatthisbookwillbehelpful
to others with PE.
We also want to acknowledge the outstanding contributions of
the people we have happily worked with at New Harbinger Publica-
tions: Spencer Smith, acquisitions editor; Jessica Beebe, copy editor;
Amy Shoup, art director; Gretchen Gold, web manager, permissions,
and advertising; Troy DuFrene, marketing and sales; Michele
Waters, director of production; and Heather Mitchener, editorial
director. Thank you all.
—Michael E. Metz
—Barry W. McCarthy

Contents
1 Understanding Premature Ejaculation 1
2 Developing Realistic Expectations about Sex 15
3 Understanding the Causes and Effects of PE 29
4 Assessing Your PE 47
5 Planning Your Treatment and Preparing for Action 59
6 Medical, Pharmacologic, and Physiological 73
Treatments
7 Psychological and Relational Strategies and Skills 85
8 Psychosexual Skills: Enjoying Arousal and 105
Regulating Orgasm
9 Couple Sexuality: Building an Intimate, Interactive 135
Couple Sexual Style
10 Enjoying Sex and Preventing Relapse 147
vi Coping with Premature Ejaculation
Choosing an Individual, Couple, or 161
Sex Therapist
Resources 163
References 167