Table Of Content“
Wish you knew whether the wisecracking guy in the next cubicle got a raise this year? Or whether
that stylish woman sipping wine on your fi rst date wants to have kids? Well, a new book by an army
”
intelligence interrogator could help you get the answers to your most pressing questions.
—Time magazine on Find Out Anything From Anyone, Anytime
Secrets to Control Any Conversation
From a Veteran Interrogator
How would you answer the question “What qualifi es you for this job?”
Most people usually respond with a series of “whats”: what experience
they have, what they studied in school, and what they do well. But there is
a better way to answer.
In Control the Conversation, you are guided in craft ing a response to a
question, not just an answer. A response should be multidimensional and
include relevant and compelling information that goes beyond a mere an-
swer. Th e system will help anyone, from job seekers to salespeople, build and
apply this skill set. Authors James O. Pyle and Maryann Karinch teach how
to manage the four areas of disclosure—people, places, things, and events
in time. You will learn how to develop competence in techniques that will
help you take control and get your message across in any kind of discussion
or negotiation.
No matter the question, Control the Conversation will show you how to
steer every talk in your favor.
JAMES O. PYLE is a human intelligence training instructor for the combined
services of the Department of Defense. He lives in Springfi eld, Virginia.
MARYANN KARINCH is a body language expert and the author or coauthor of
twenty-eight books, including How to Spot a Liar and Find Out Anything
fr om Anyone, Anytime with James O. Pyle. She is the founder of the Rudy
Agency, a literary agency based in Estes Park, Colorado.
Also Available:
qdgiTqcsiaWStnnhuouneueehggewictebdelett hastrs hpofi tannnnnne“tsn intoaiora-eiriceJng soHkonws tfihgcw IRKPDG me enndadrjpoeneeenrearroin seee rftrain—blscoti.iur t qs— on en,scggatep sowMwrmucftto r to t.tnigaerol imw et:eGfPioeoceUtoJtt esnamy eshrhhaefiRidfsseaalr. i nsnl ieSseietionazo t llmn.esot iu eq.hg e Upnni npstHedhqrnAGnne uo s,dgelonwcex eitu aegepd reo Pn y seiaoopmleHl hp tt serdeip hp g ntehpteOn1tsoernrih yae d adi9elarnctlss opnt o.eea stiisRw8 a pScttaiosue lP n rnb agesbta9atettotuinetoaieyionreeyrt.wecn nfcsl tshpir nasdi ntleepdpeg eesqfy oelsnt.s nriha r e . ,etunHy ge nh y qAotgoi ihseF trsaseg,hqtooiueftofrxre s inhta s. aeuerm cw ane,oparti o txoinsoiedoeihcsdaiden yrnnspudosnptcroauter l gioIieeiiiOg lnqrho tmmuddnnvo H r oschsuynnaaeuctett ng,aimobhi ewo esrir toar s nitlwql owleooo unosiecinlhnoe Anfiutiaurf tl i gg detnenamh ie wl anetrsnSeot olt t nosloesvht ysa nep,ydainf,rp u or olm tels crhaSn g i lalT hafsakhiientii aei tnpadpmgnnhouhsi nilcigC angenoti.kmedetttetee hfehenfrogehctg st e iriqnd e eecce r Be t onmsa;sFktsuberrilcxo ruor geda . h rno aepio hntL ircdEp t,onergnods J ulirnvheVaayemov at awfae neln itii iiorqeiayrtqnhm sLro crdtss onsruAg iu se ainb koo mnaSesrsi etaep nnnesningh scstlbslatase ylegin h fi leittaui a.tmeioooOlunhlie ori.nnslDoedpnmnosoafaa.a id nait lee.lntngtrtazrPee, hdf,s d ueea tige bdaya—teAsn necsn erya tlb. Htgdbnrsoe astcs ootedle .r aiyfktaopry nu pi heitn JiLlstn eaweinvtoeiksed ma frvmd eirghaaiJaenbtmetn lo leoii’cr sgooqssrnasgi shp ushonwpo uli o qse ialattat Ukieonerui otgrunastI lsyr:.i eas n lg e gqsStol s ,a sttmeisoeg Iu.nitoeotsftrn ios hrelrk$.imivvnolsso”nsaiseie 1etsfegilgntet,i d5ep sentieoayoi uoka.n.ntgdn9oonhtndicigseldud9ecee--l,,, Find Out Anything From Anyone, Anytime FOA Ca AlcFuIr nol atmSeAtineer arcduo r VQgeenuat ntseteo sorratf inyonnti ngdy Ftythroiiomnnmege, www.redwheelweiser.com U.S. $16.95
Cover design by Howard LYPMGroaaosrunasmk graW,u nyCaaaognnleton ,rH aa Kandndoad. rfboionuocnkhd, e Iir sC otahfn eT Rahueeta hRdo uYrd ooyur AcLogikaeeun tcahy oB, rao oolfki t,1e 9ar nabrdoy o Gkaegst,e inPncecyol upbldeai snteogd TD ihnoe W EBsohtdeayst Pyle & Karinch Ja mes O. Pyle & Maryann Karinch
CareerPress.com Gregory Hartley, cFoOaRuewthOoRrD obfy How to Spot a Liar
Control the
Conversation
Control the
Conversation
HOW TO CHARM, DEFLECT,
AND DEFEND YOUR POSITION
THROUGH ANY LINE OF QUESTIONING
James O. Pyle and maryann Karinch
This edition first published in 2018 by Career Press, an
imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, llc.
With offices at:
65 Parker Street, Suite 7
Newburyport, MA 01950
www.redwheelweiser.com
www.careerpress.com
Copyright © 2018 by James O. Pyle and Maryann Karinch
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, record-
ing, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, llc.
Reviewers may quote brief passages.
ISBN: 978-1-63265-143-3
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
available upon request.
Cover design by Kathryn Sky-Peck
Cover photograph © iStock
Interior photos/images by Maryann Karinch
Interior by Lauren Manoy
Typeset in Palatino and Helvetica Neue
Printed in Canada
MAR
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
D
eDicatiOns
JAMES O. PYLE
To my mom, Wanda Josephine Pyle of Milton, IL,
who before she passed at the age of 85 in 2009, be-
lieved in me and did the best she could for me, my
brothers, and my sisters as well.
Mom, I hope this dedication puts a little dent in
a very big IOU.
MARYANN KARINCH
To my mother, brother, Jim McCormick, and Greg
Hartley.
a
cKnOwleDgments
J O. P
ames yle
or a book about answers, first this question: How do
F
I acknowledge and thank all the people who have
trained, mentored, and put up with me in this lifetime?
My words are not just my own for they all have con-
tributed to this writing. My voice is not just my own,
but it speaks from so many people from so many plac-
es, about so many things from five years before rock-
and-roll music in 1950 to now, some sixty-eight-plus
years later.
In the professional arena, I am grateful to fellow vet-
eran and author Greg Hartley for his work with Maryann
and introducing us in 2013.
I am equally amazed and appreciate Maryann for
her ability to weave the brightly colored threads of our
combined life experiences, professional and personal,
into a tapestry so easy to read, assimilate, and alter for
the good with this new way to consider questions and
responses.
And more personally it has to be said, I could not
be the person I am or do what I do without my good
wife, Debbie, who supports completely, adjusts accord-
ingly, and carried the weight to keep the family balance
during this last winter’s write.
A very special thank you to my children Jimmy, Cor-
rie Anna, Sharon Marie, Jamie, and Megan for all the
years they listened to learn, questioned to learn, and
still listen and still question as they will this latest les-
son for life. It was from them, and Megan in particular,
where the very seed for this book was planted and took
quick root.
m K
aryann arinch
Here’s a question I know you can answer: How much
fun is it when someone you enjoy is on the other end
of a phone call? Well, I would have to say that’s how
I felt when Jim Pyle and I had our regular calls to de-
velop this book. Together, we joyfully explored the skill
sets associated with responding well to questions and
feeling confident in any conversation. I thank him for a
productive and gratifying partnership.
Also up-front on the list of people to thank is Greg
Hartley. Jim and I wouldn’t know each other, and may-
be not even understand each other as well, if it weren’t
for Greg. He has been a mentor extraordinaire! Our
relationship as coauthors and as friends has been life
changing.
I want to thank my sweetheart, Jim McCormick,
for consistent and loving support. He also enjoys test-
ing my skills by expecting complete answers to both
easy and tough questions. Of course, I need to say the
same thing for my mother and brother: When they ask
a question, they want to know the whole story. Thanks
to them too!
Thank you also to my dear friend Patti Mengers,
an award-winning former staff writer for the Delaware
County Daily Times in suburban Philadelphia, site of
Neumann University, where she now lectures on jour-
nalism.
I also want to thank my great friends like Mary Salo-
schin Hubbard at WBUR in Boston and my PEO sisters
in Estes Park as well as colleagues who provided intel-
ligent feedback when I asked things like, “What’s the
best way to communicate this idea?”
Last, but surely not least, we both want to express ap-
preciation to Michael Pye, Laurie Kelly-Pye, Lauren Manoy,
and Gina Schenck of Career Press, as well as the new
team supporting us at Red Wheel/Weiser.
