Table Of Content
Control
Premature Ejaculation
Tips and Strategies to Control
Premature Ejaculation
By
Benjamin Stone
copyright © 2013 by Benjamin Stone
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or
distributed in any manner whatsoever without written
permission from the author except in the case of brief
quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Premature Ejaculation
Causes of Premature Ejaculation
Recognizing Premature Ejaculation
Relax
The Perks of Safe Sex
Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands
The Squeeze Technique
This is how it is done
Edging and Its Benefits
Kegel Exercise
How to Jelq
Help From Your Partner
SLOW DOWN
MENTAL DISTRACTIONS
Positions
Spooning
On Top position
Doggy style
69
She Finishes First
Oral Sex on Her
Oral Sex for Him
Daily Ritual
About The Author
Introduction
Thanks for downloading this book, Control Premature Ejaculation
First, I would like to congratulate you for doing this. Premature or early
ejaculation is something that 30-40% of adult men experience but is also something that
is kind of embarrassing to admit. It takes real courage to accept this problem, but now
that you do, you’re more than ready to take steps to do something about it. And that is
what this book is for.
On the other hand, if you’re a sexual partner of someone who has problems
making it last in bed, and are reading this to help your partner, you’re equally
commendable. However, I recommend you make all intentions of aid and support clear
to your partner in a secure space without judgment and pressure. You’ll both enjoy the
results in the end.
This book is divided into organized chapters for your ease of reading. It has vital
information about early ejaculation, and healthy and productive tips, techniques, and
practices to keep it from happening. I hope you’ll find this book helpful and enjoyable.
Premature Ejaculation
Premature or early ejaculation happens when orgasm comes early in sexual
intercourse, sooner than one or his partner hopes. It comes as an uncontrolled orgasm
with little sexual stimulation before of few moments, right after penile penetration. It
may also occur without sexual intercourse, simply with masturbation.
An estimated 30-40% of men experience premature ejaculation, and many feel
embarrassed to talk openly about it. However, if a man experiences this infrequently,
chances are, it isn’t so much of a problem and may only happen in few particular
occasions such as when he is tired, or his last sexual activity has been quite long ago.
Most men actually experience early ejaculation at some point in their life.
It is important to note the differences among the cases of premature ejaculation.
Some conditions are classified as lifelong /primary—occurs almost all of the time since
first sexual experience—or acquired/secondary—occurs sometime after a considerable
amount of sexual experiences without any dysfunction. Reassuringly, most men who
experience early ejaculation are most likely experiencing the secondary type, which is
the less persistent condition.
For this book, we would pertain to premature ejaculation (may consistently be
termed as PE) of the common kind.
One of the biggest effects of PE is unsatisfactory sexual intercourse, for both the
man and his partner, and the sexual frustrations may further contribute to the problem.
On the bright side, PE is a common and treatable condition. Dealing and treating PE
may not only help in controlling the timing of ejaculation but also in the general
improvement of sex for parties involved.
Causes of Premature Ejaculation
Reasons why PE varies from person to person and may be based on their
individual circumstances. Most cases of PE do not even manifest obvious causes.
However, if you find yourself frequently experiencing PE, you might find it helpful to
check if you are also experiencing the following possible causes:
Inexperience. Sexual ignorance does not actually cause PE, but it could
explain why there isn’t total control over the timing of orgasm. Learning
how to control ejaculation comes with experience and age. It will usually
get better in time.
Change in a sexual partner. Unintentionally or not, sexual partners
impose a level of expectation on men, whether they say it out loud or the
man cooks it up in his head. Nevertheless, it’s there. In usual
circumstances, particularly in exclusive sexual relationships, the pressure
of the imposed expectation eventually lessens with constant intercourse
with the same partner, establishing comfort, familiarity, and self-esteem.
Changing partners may bring forth a new feeling of pressure, or
intimidation, discomfort, and fear, which may cause PE.
Psychological Factors . Mental state affects performance, particularly in
sexual activities. Some of the causes may include performance-related
anxiety, fear of failure, disappointment, and rejection, pressure and stress
(even on other rather unrelated matters), relationship and personal issues, and
many others.
Malconditioning . Unhealthy or too strict upbringing and teaching of matters
about sex may restrict the young male’s exploration of his sexual capabilities.
Furthermore, sexual trauma (such as getting caught masturbating) and
learning the wrong practices (such as masturbating quickly to avoid getting
caught) may condition the wrong responses to sexual stimulation.
Medical causes. Although these causes account for very little of PE cases,
medical conditions ought to be seriously dealt with in order to address the PE
issue. Medical causes may include disorders, damage of the nervous system,
physical injury/ trauma, medication side effects, substance abuse, and/or
effects post-surgery.
Recognizing Premature Ejaculation
Before you self-diagnose and convince yourself that you have PE, it is important
you assess your performance properly to avoid unnecessary negative feelings. It is also
recommended to get your partner’s opinion and feelings about it, as it might turn out
that you are worrying too much about your performance. Here are some signs that PE is
a thing of concern:
You frequently fail to recognize when you are about to
ejaculate.
You always or almost always orgasm within one to two minutes
of penetration or masturbation.
You are unable to control or delay ejaculation on most of your
sexual intercourse or masturbation.
You find yourself and/or your partner dissatisfied with most of
your sexual intercourse.
The conditions above are persistent.
Relax
One of the things we normally take for granted is the amount of stress we
experience daily. And a fact we usually don’t know about stress is that it does not only
comprise of the things we worry or get upset about. Stress may also be a result of the
ups and downs of our everyday lives that somehow manages to contribute to our
mental, emotional, and physical wear and tear.
Stress also happens to be one of the contributing factors for premature ejaculation.
Because the human body is designed to deal with and handle everyday stressors, it
compromises other rather less important bodily functions to cope up with stress.
When in a stressful situation, the brain chemistry changes with the release of the
stress hormones (cortisol, norepinephrine…) that send signals to our nervous and
endocrine systems. In response, the body increases heart rate for more blood
circulation, stimulates the body for blood sugar and adrenalin for energy, and diverts
blood from other areas (such as the genitals) to the limbs for strength.
In addition, the sympathetic nerves, which are responsible for the ejaculation
urges, are stimulated whenever one is stressed. This increases sensitivity to pain and
stimulation. When a man is highly stressed, and the sympathetic nerves have been
stimulated even before a sexual activity, it is highly likely he will ejaculate too soon.
Moreover, stress also affects the moods, attitudes, behaviors, and the emotional
and sensual availability of a man which directly contribute to his ability to perform an
intimate and satisfactory sexual activity.
To avoid stress affecting your ejaculation control, the following steps are
suggested:
• Before engaging in sexual intercourse, take some time to calm yourself
down and relax, especially after a stressful day. Invest in some positive
thoughts, shake off the excess rush and excitement, take deep breaths, or
simply rest.
• Try not to worry about what is happening during sex to minimize
stress and anxiety. Stop worrying too much if you’re doing great or if your
partner is pleased, because if it isn’t your first time having sex, especially
with this particular partner, then you should be doing fine. If it is the first
time and you’re pretty anxious, try to pleasure your partner first in some other
way before proceeding to penetration. Being too conscious makes things
unnatural, mechanical, and awkward.
• Establish regular anti-stress habits, even on days when you don’t
expect to have sex. Keep a positive outlook and a little of the easy-going
attitude. Try to make yourself tolerant and flexible with your regular
stressors.
• Consider sex as a stress reliever, and not an obligation to your partner.
Even when you have had PE before, treat consequent sexual activities as
practice for gaining ejaculation control. Take note that practice takes time.
Don’t push yourself too hard and try not to get upset when things don’t easily
come as hoped.
• If you are in a romantic and exclusive relationship, remember that your
partner is as committed as you are and that PE is an understandable condition.
It is known that most men who suffer from diagnostic PE are more worried
about it than their partners. You’re willing to work on it, and you have a
practice buddy who’s willing to work with you.
The Perks of Safe Sex
The most basic purpose of a condom is safe sex—to minimize the chances of
pregnancy and getting sexually transmitted diseases. But another feature of the rubber is
to help prevent PE during sexual activities.
Although the relationship between penile hypersensitivity and premature
ejaculation has been opposed and has not been well established by numerous studies, it
has been agreed the reducing penile sensitivity may still help in preventing PE.
In this light, wearing a condom during intercourse is recommended for PE
patients. Your usual brand or type of condom may be enough but try to avoid the super
thin types or those “extra ribbed” ones, as obviously, they heighten the pleasure instead
of reducing it and these types wouldn’t help your case.
There are condom brands out there that are designed for longer sex. There are
even a few that are specifically designed for men who orgasm too soon. These condoms
may come as thicker than normal condoms, for less sensation therefore longer time to
ejaculate. Some others come with chemical treatments, such as benzocaine, to numb the
skin of the penis temporarily.
Caution however is needed when one decides to use chemically treated condoms.
If you have not tried any particular brand or kind yet, try purchasing one and rub it
slightly on the inner fold of your arm (not kidding, but do this in private) to test if you
are allergic to the particular numbing agent. In addition, try to test brands if their
numbing chemicals are applied only to the inside portion of the latex. Some brands
have the numbing agent applied all over, therefore also affecting the sensation of your
partner, which is likely to cause displeasure on your partner’s end. Also remember that
it may take a minute or two before the numbing takes effect. Try to wait a few moments
after wearing a PE numbing condom before penetration to experience more effective
results.
It is advised that you do not go cheap when purchasing condoms, even when
you’re not specifically buying PE condoms. Try to evaluate which brands you find
comfortable and effective for your case. Also, do not try to use two condoms at the
same time, as others do. The extra friction between the rubbers might not work well in
your favor.
The best condoms to use for PE are those that are made from natural latex and are
tested electronically.
Furthermore, consider that PE condoms do not solely assure PE treatment and
prevention. The use of condoms for sensitivity reduction is only one way of helping you
address the issue. It is important to treat the long-term conditions of PE, such as
performance anxiety and lack of control, with regular practices such as behavioral
techniques and other exercises. PE condoms should not be considered a permanent
solution.
Also, the use of delay condoms for PE may affect your pleasure during sexual
intercourse. The most important thing it may contribute for your PE treatment is the
reformat of your sexual habits and behavior.
For safety purposes, consult a counselor or a physician about using condoms for
your PE treatment.
Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands
In more direct verbiage, practice controlling your ejaculation by masturbating.
Masturbating on your own, or with your partner, has less imposed pressure and
expectations on your performance compared to actual sexual intercourse. Practicing
orgasm control through masturbation exercises will definitely help you in overcoming
PE, but for you to succeed it would take quite a while and it would require great
patience and hard work.
There are four highly recommended techniques for control practice, and they are
aptly called behavioral techniques, as they recondition your ejaculation behavior more
than targeting the underlying psychological causes of PE. Although they may be done
during intercourse, it is suggested that these be done first with masturbation, so as to
avoid frustrations for you and your partner early on the practice phase.
The Squeeze Technique
The first one is the Masters and Johnsons technique (pioneered by William
Masters and Virginia Johnson, expert researchers in sexual dysfunctions, treatments and
responses). Also called the “squeeze” technique, it involves literal squeezing of the
frenulum—the part of the penis where the skin meets the tip.
This is how it is done
First, you stimulate your penis until erection and keep on masturbating until you
are close to ejaculation. It is important, however, to recognize the point of inevitability,
or in more common phrasing the point of no return. If you are unable to recognize this
point, the squeeze technique may also be helpful in addressing this issue.
When you feel that you are close to orgasm, right before the point of no return,
firmly squeeze your frenulum with your index finger and thumb for about 10-20
seconds, or as long as you feel the need to.
By squeezing that part of your penis, you reduce sensitivity and perhaps arousal.
Repeat masturbation and do the squeeze again when you are about to ejaculate. Do this
a few more times until you decide to finally orgasm.
The same strategy applies to when you are having sexual intercourse but may
require slightly different dynamics for when you have to pause and squeeze. When
applying this practice during sex, have your partner do the squeeze for you (only if both
of you are comfortable with it), or plan a good transition (for your partner, perhaps a
non-penetration act) while you do it yourself.
