Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis: Advice from Twentysomethings Who Have Been There and Survived (Perigee Book)

280 Pages·2004·1.25 MB·English

by  Alexandra Robbins

Table of Contents

Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Introduction
Part 1 - Hopes and Dreams

Chapter 1 - What if I don’t know what I want?
Chapter 2 - How do I find my passion?
Chapter 3 - When do I let go of my dream?
Chapter 4 - What if I don’t get what I want by the age I thought I’d get it?
Chapter 5 - How do I start over? or, What if I spent years working hard and now
...
Part 2 - Relationships

Chapter 6 - Why am I having trouble meeting people?
Chapter 7 - How important are sparks?
Chapter 8 - How do I know if I’m dating The One?
Chapter 9 - How do I know if I was just experimenting or if I’m really gay or bi?
Part 3 - Work Life

Chapter 10 - How do I weigh doing something I love versus making enough
money?
Chapter 11 - Will I always hate going to work?
Chapter 12 - When do I give up on a job?
Chapter 13 - What if I want to completely change direction in my career?
Chapter 14 - Should I go back to school? or, What if school was a waste?
Part 4 - Home, Friends, and Family

Chapter 15 - Why is it so hard to live alone?
Chapter 16 - What if I feel like I’m “stuck”?
Chapter 17 - Why is it so hard to find friends?
Chapter 18 - What if my friends and I are drifting apart?
Chapter 19 - How do I stop comparing myself to other people?
Chapter 20 - Should I move back in with my parents?
Part 5 - Identity

Chapter 21 - Why can’t I deal with adulthood?
Chapter 22 - What do I do if my life seems boring or meaningless?
Chapter 23 - How do I stop feeling so overwhelmed?
Chapter 24 - When will I stop feeling afraid of and start looking forward to ...
Chapter 25 - What if I don’t like myself? or, Will I ever be happy?
Acknowledgements
About the Author
MORE PRAISE FOR Quarterlife Crisis

“When I read the book Quarterlife Crisis, I wept. . . . They pinned the tale on the
donkey. Even those who don’t recognize the term relate to it.”—The Toronto
Star

“In Quarterlife Crisis, Ms. Robbins, 25, outlined the distinction between her
generation’s crisis points and those of her parents’ generation.”—New York
Times

“Quarterlife Crisis is a good place for recent graduates to turn for inspiration
and reassurance.”—Columbus Dispatch

“Quarterlife Crisis . . . caused a global sensation.”

—Straits Times

“The catch phrase du jour and the title of the latest generational treatise
—‘Quarterlife Crisis’—has spawned a national dialogue.” —Los Angeles Times
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A Perigee Book
Published by The Berkley Publishing Group
A division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York 10014

Copyright © 2004 by Alexandra Robbins

All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission. The
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First Perigee paperback edition: October 2004
eISBN : 978-1-436-28743-2

Visit our website at www.penguin.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

HQ799.5.R63 2004
305.235—dc22 2004044572

http://us.penguingroup.com
Dedicated with love to Missy, Andrew, Jo, Ira, Dave, Irving, Rachel, Marty, and
Seena
For additional advice, many more stories and suggestions, information for
Quarterlife Crisis support groups and mentor programs, or to schedule a
lecture or appearance by Alexandra Robbins, please visit
www.alexandrarobbins.com.
Introduction
The answers

Three years ago, a little book called Quarterlife Crisis unexpectedly hit a big
nerve. The book described the feelings of apprehension and indecision that
walloped twentysomethings during the transition between young adulthood and
adulthood. It discussed how twentysomethings were lost and confused, largely
because there was no road map to these years, no manual providing answers. It
lamented the absence of a guide—a book with solutions for how to emerge
successfully and happily from the struggles of this age.

Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis is that guide.

This new book is written for all twenty-and thirtysomethings, regardless of
gender, finances, race, status, and geographic location. It is for, and includes
advice from, those who went to college, as well as those who did not; those who
work blue-collar jobs, white-collar jobs, or no job at all; those with money and
those carrying six-figure debt loads; those with relatively few obligations and
those who are single parents with tremendous responsibilities; and those who are
close to depression and those who feel like they almost have it together.
Conquering Your Quarterlife Crisis addresses our age group’s common bond:
the deep, soul-searching questions that keep us awake at night; the tough, hard-
hitting questions that we’re sometimes too afraid to ask even ourselves.

Many of us in our twenties and thirties go through a period that leaves us
feeling panicked or directionless. For some of us, the challenges of this time
become so overwhelming that we may seriously second-guess our abilities,
intensely question our lives, or crush our own self-esteem with our doubts.
That’s what happened to me. I wrote the first Quarterlife Crisis essentially to
figure out what was so wrong with me that during what I thought were supposed
to be the most carefree, freewheeling years of my life, I felt useless, sad, and ill
equipped for life after school.