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business world? C —Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and CEO of Business Network International
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Confessions of an Introvert is a must-read In and Getting the Most
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Careers/Business $16.95 U.S.
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ISBN-13: 978-1-57248-697-3 £9.99 UK
ISBN-10: 1-57248-697-X
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Confessions
of an
Introvert
The Shy Girl’s Guide
to Career, Networking,
and Getting the Most
Out of Life
m e g h a n w i e r
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Copyright © 2009 by Meghan Wier
Cover and internal design © 2009 by Sourcebooks, Inc.
Cover photo © Jupiter Images
Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks,
Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any
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embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing
from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative
information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the
understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal,
accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert
assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person
should be sought.—From a Declaration of Principles Jointly Adopted
by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of
Publishers and Associations
Published by Sphinx Publishing, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.
P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Wier, Meghan.
Confessions of an introvert : the shy girl’s guide to career, networking,
and getting the most out of life / by Meghan Wier.
p. cm.
(pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Introverts—Vocational guidance. I. Title.
HF5382.693.W54 2008
650.1—dc22
2008029909
Printed and bound in the United States of America
BG 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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To my beloved husband: Thank you.
There are no words...
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Contents
INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
CHAPTER 1: SO AM I AN INTROVERT (OR JUST KIND
OF SHY)? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Reaching Out and Reaching In . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Getting What You Want out of Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
The Rule of Persistence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Emerging from the Shadows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35
Shyness, Social Anxiety, and Stage Fright—Oh My . . . . . . . . . . . 37
CHAPTER 2: BUILDING BLOCKS OF SUCCESS . . . . . . . 43
Building Blocks of Business Success . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Self-Belief . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Business Acumen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Creating Connection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Network Knowledge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
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CHAPTER 3: FIRST STEPS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57
Realistic Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
Getting Out and Being On . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Being a Forced Extrovert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
Reaching Equilibrium (Realigning, Prioritizing, Balancing) . . . . . 71
Outsourcing the Small Stuff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
CHAPTER 4: WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS IQ? . . . . . . . . . 79
Fourteen Ways to Self-Promote . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
Self-Branding—Developing the Outer You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Confi dence—Your Secret Weapon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
Rock That Boat—Making Waves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91
Management—You Are the Boss of You . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
Mentor and Be Mentored . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
Learning from the Best—The Wegmans Approach . . . . . . . . . . . 100
CHAPTER 5: ADVANCED BUSINESS KNOWLEDGE . . . 105
Have a Backup Plan (and Why I Always Carry a Tea Bag) . . . . . 105
Establish Yourself as an Expert . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
Continuing Education . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Charisma . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Taking the Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
Being a Great Leader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117
Seeking Out Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Capitalize on Opportunities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
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Getting Professional Help . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
CHAPTER 6: BUSINESS NETWORKING . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
The Importance of Networking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125
Networking 101 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
Assessing Your Networking Needs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127
Finding Your Style . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
You Already Have the Skills—Apply Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
Make Networking Your Job . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
Reap the Rewards of Business Networking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Getting More Referrals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133
CHAPTER 7: GETTING NOTICED AND BEING
FABULOUS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .137
What Does Your Business Card Say about You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
Connecting Effectively with Other People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143
Developing Your Business Networking Skills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148
Treating Your Life Like a Business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
CHAPTER 8: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION . . . . 155
Staging—Creating the Best Environment for Your Performance . 156
Finding a Comfortable Home Base for Networking . . . . . . . . . . 158
The Power of the One-on-One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163
Meeting All the CEOs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165
Why I Like Coffee Shops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
CHAPTER 9: ORGANIZATION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171
Handling Business Card Overload . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174
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Leaving Your Mark . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Card Filing and Filing the Cards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
Movin’ on Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
Getting on the List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
Networking Gold—Your List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
Where Is That Card? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
Should I Put That in a Database? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
Respect That List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182
The A-List and the B-List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 184
CHAPTER 10: YOUR COMMUNICATION TOOLBOX . . 187
Managing Your Network . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
Staying in Touch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190
CHAPTER 11: TIPS FOR BEING A MASTER
NETWORKER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
You Are a Goodwill Ambassador . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196
It Is Who You Know . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
Party Mentality—Working the Room Like an Extrovert . . . . . . . 199
Friends and Contacts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
CHAPTER 12: GETTING AWAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
The Road Less Traveled . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 204
SUGGESTED READING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
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Confessions
of an
Introvert
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Description:Funny and insightful, Meghan has written a true resource for any introvert seeking to break out of their shell and step into the spotlight. Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and CEO of Business Network International Are you an introvert who wants to succeed in the business world? Do you: Avoid unnecessary so