Communication matters. / Course two, "That's not what I meant!", the sociolinguistics of everyday conversation

61 Pages·2004·0.281 MB·English

by  Deborah Tannen

Communication
Matters:
“That’s Not What I Meant!”:
The Sociolinguistics
of Everyday Conversation
COURSE GUIDE
Professor Deborah Tannen
GEORGETOWNUNIVERSITY
Communication Matters:
“That’s Not What I Meant!”:
The Sociolinguistics of Everyday Conversation
Professor Deborah Tannen
Georgetown University
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CommunicationMatters:
“That’sNotWhatIMeant!”:
TheSociolinguisticsofEverydayConversation
ProfessorDeborahTannen
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Lecturecontent©2004byDeborahTannen
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2004byRecordedBooks,LLC
#UT018 ISBN:978-1-4025-4774-4
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CourseSyllabus
CommunicationMatters:
“That’sNotWhatIMeant!”:
TheSociolinguisticsofEverydayConversation
AboutYourProfessor......................................................................................................4
Introduction......................................................................................................................5
Lecture1 ConversationalStyle:
ThePowerofLanguageinYourLife........................................................6
Lecture2 LinguisticSignals,Devices,andRituals................................................10
Lecture3 FramingandReframing:
HowMetamessagesFrameMeaning....................................................14
Lecture4 PowerandSolidarity:
TheInterplayofHierarchyandConnection............................................17
Lecture5 Indirectness:TheWaysandWhysWe
CommunicateMeaningNotinSoManyWords ....................................21
Lecture6 TheRhythmsofTalk:
Pacing,Pausing,Silence,andInterruption............................................24
Lecture7 Listenership:ConversationasaJointProduction..................................27
Lecture8 Agonism:ProgrammedContentiousness,
RitualizedOpposition..............................................................................30
Lecture9 Gender:WomenandMenTalking ........................................................34
Lecture10 ApologiesinPrivateandPublicContexts..............................................37
Lecture11 TalkingatWork:InstitutionalandInteractionalPower ..........................41
Lecture12 TheClassroom:TalkinginSchool..........................................................44
Lecture13 Politics:TalkinthePublicArena............................................................48
Lecture14 WhattoDowithWhatYou’veLearned..................................................52
References ..................................................................................................................57
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About Your Professor
Deborah Tannen
DeborahTannenholdsthedistinguishedrankof
UniversityProfessoratGeorgetownUniversity,where
©LindaFarwell smUhneednehtrassistnacbneede1:n9W7oo9nm.tHheenerfaabncoduolMktyeYonofuitnhJeCulsointngDvueoirsnst’aitctsiodnewpaasrt-on
theNewYorkTimesbest-sellerlistfornearlyfour
years,includingeightmonthsasnumberone;hassoldmorethantwomillioncopies;and
hasbeentranslatedintotwenty-ninelanguages.Itwasalsoonbest-sellerlistsinBrazil,
Canada,England,Germany,Holland,andHongKong.Thisisthebookthatbroughtgen-
derdifferencesincommunicationstyletotheforefrontofpublicawareness.Ofherother
eighteenbooks,Talkingfrom9to5:WomenandMenatWorkwasaNewYorkTimes
businessbest-seller;TheArgumentCulture:StoppingAmerica’sWarofWordswonthe
CommonGroundbookaward;andIOnlySayThisBecauseILoveYou:TalkingtoYour
Parents,Partner,SibsandKidsWhenYou’reAllAdultswonaBooksforaBetterLife
award.HerbookswrittenforscholarlyreadersincludeTalkingVoices:Repetition,
Dialogue,andImageryinConversationalDiscourse(CambridgeUniversityPress),
Gender&Discourse(OxfordUniversityPress),andConversationalStyle:AnalyzingTalk
AmongFriends(AblexPublishingandOxfordUniversityPress).
Dr.Tannenisaninternationallyrecognizedscholarwhohasreceivedfellowshipsand
grantsfromtheRockefellerFoundation,theNationalEndowmentfortheHumanities,
theNationalScienceFoundation,theAmericanCouncilofLearnedSocieties,andthe
AlfredP.SloanFoundation.SheisassociateeditorofLanguageinSocietyandison
theeditorialboardsofmanyotherjournals.Sheisalsoanadvisoryeditorofthebook
seriesOxfordStudiesinGenderandLanguage.Shehasbeenawardedfivehonorary
doctoratesandhasbeenMcGrawDistinguishedLectureratPrincetonUniversity.She
wasafellowattheCenterforAdvancedStudyintheBehavioralSciencesinStanford,
California,followingaterminresidenceattheInstituteforAdvancedStudyin
Princeton,NewJersey.
Dr.Tannenisafrequentguestonsuchnewsandinformationshowsas20/20,The
NewsHourwithJimLehrer,TheTodayShow,GoodMorningAmerica,andABCWorld
NewsTonightaswellassuchnetworksasCNNandNationalPublicRadio.Shehaswrit-
tenformostmajormagazinesandnewspapers,includingtheNewYorkTimes,the
WashingtonPost,USAToday,Time,Newsweek,andtheHarvardBusinessReview.
Dr.Tannenisalsoafrequentandpopularlecturertobusiness,professional,andaca-
demicgroups.HeraudienceshaverangedfromsuchmajorcorporationsasMotorola,
Chevron,JPMorganChase,andCapitolOnetoagatheringofUnitedStatessenators
andtheirspouses.
Inadditiontoherlinguisticresearchandwriting,Dr.Tannenhaspublishedpoetry,
shortstories,andpersonalessays.Herfirstplay,“AnActofDevotion,”isincludedin
TheBestAmericanShortPlays:1993-1994.Itwasproduced,togetherwithherplay
“Sisters,”byHorizonsTheaterinArlington,Virginia,in1995.
Dr.Tannen’swebsiteisdeborahtannen.com.
Avideotapedlecture,“That’sNotWhatIMeant!:Language,CultureandMeaning,”is
availablethroughIntotheClassroomMediaat1-800-732-7946.
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Introduction
Thefollowingseriesoflecturesdrawsonlinguistics,orthescientificstudyof
language,toshowthemanywaysinwhichlanguagehasaprofoundeffect
uponhumanrelationships.Theselecturesaddressthevariousaspectsand
implicationsofwhatProfessorTannencalls“conversationalstyle.”Italso
looksatthedynamicsofspecificsituationssuchastheworkplaceandclass-
roomwheretheroleofconversationalstyleisofparticularimportance.
Aperson’sconversationalstyleincludesfarmorethanthewordsthatheor
shespeaks.Eachconversationiscomposedofcontextualcues,unspoken
messages,bodylanguage,andtherhythmsofspeech.Forthemostpart,
peoplecommunicatewithoutaconsciousfocusonthesubtletiesoflanguage.
Throughthiscourse,thecomplexitiesoflanguage,andallthatlanguage
entails,willbecomemoreapparent.
Abetterunderstandingoflanguage,ofhowwecommunicate,andofhow
ourwaysofcommunicatingdifferbasedonwhowearetalkingtoshouldlead
notonlytoabetterunderstandingofourselvesandofthosewithwhomwe
haverelationships,butshouldalsoleadtoimprovedcommunication.Ourlan-
guageshapesourlivesinnumerous,complexways.Theselectureshelpus
tomakesenseofourlanguageandwillhelptoimproveourrelationshipswith
friends,spouses,andcoworkers.
Acknowledgments
Manyoftheselecturesincludeexcerptsfromaccountswrittenbystudents
inmyclassesatGeorgetownUniversity.Iwouldliketothankthesestudents
forpermissiontousetheirwords.Intheorderinwhichtheyappear,they
are:Lecture3:EricaDuelks;Lecture5:JeffCivillico,EmilyNash,Shannon
Semler,ScottSherman;Lecture6:MaureenRusso;Lecture8:Jinnyn
Jacob,TraceyJarmon,AnthonyMarchese,JulieSweetland;Lecture12:
StanYunick;Lecture14:DonaldWeiHsiung.
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Lecture1:ConversationalStyle:
ThePowerofLanguageinYourLife
Beforebeginningthislectureyoumaywantto...
ReadtheintroductiontoDeborahTannen’sThat’sNotWhatIMeant!
Introduction:
Linguistics,theacademicdisciplinedevotedtothescientificstudyoflan-
guage,canshedlightonrelationships.
Considerthis...
Inadditiontotheactualwordswespeak,whatfactorsinfluencethe
meaningofwhatwearetryingtocommunicate?
A. ThePowerofLanguage.
1. Aperfectlytunedconversationisavisionofsanity.Itreassuresthat
you’rearightsortofpersonandall’srightwiththeworld.
2. Nothingismoredeeplydisquietingthanaconversationgoneawry.
a. Iftheconversationisafleetingone,theconsequencesmaybe
minor,thoughthecumulativeeffectcanbedire.
b. Iftheconversationisatwork,itcangetinthewayofyourjob
satisfactionandadvancement.
c. Iftheconversationisinacloserelationship,youcanbeginto
questionyourself,yourpartner,ortherelationship.
3. Wetendtothinkofthemeaningwewanttoconvey,butthewaywe
saywhatwemeancarriesmeaning.
4. Linguisticsistheacademicdisciplinethatstudieslanguage;this
courseintroducesasubfield:interactionalsociolinguistics,some-
timescalleddiscourseanalysis.
5. TheconceptI’llbeintroducingandreturningtois“conversationalstyle.”
B. Whatisconversationalstyle?
1. I’moftenasked,“Wouldn’tweallbebetteroffifwejustsaidwhatwe
mean?”Wedo,butinourownconversationalstyle.
2. Conversationalstyleiseverythingabouthowyousaywhatyou
NE mean.Itislearnedgrowingup,anditvariesbycultureinthebroad-
O estsense:thecountryorregionofthecountryyougrewupin,the
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R languageyouspokeathomeandatplay,yourethnicbackground,
U
T butalsoclass,age,gender,andmanyotherinfluences—sexualori-
C
E entation,profession(psychologist,military,lawyer),andsoon.
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3. Conversationalstyleisinvisible:Wedrawconclusionsintermsof
abilitiesandintentions—orculturalstereotypes.
4. Whenwespeak,wefocusonwhatwethinkwe’resayingordoing,
butwehavetosayitinsomeway—andthewayconveysnotonly
informationbutimpressionsofyourself.
C. Allaspectsofhowyousaywhatyoumeanmakeupconversationalstyle.
1. Amplitude:Howloudlyorsoftlyyouspeak.
2. Pacingandpausing:Howquicklyorslowlyyouspeak.
3. Turntaking.
4. Intonation:Shiftsinpitch,themusicofspeech.
5. Directnessandindirectness.
6. Stories:Whatabout,howyougettothepoint.
7. Joking,teasing,sarcasm.
8. Howyoushowyou’relistening.
9. Nonverbalcorrelates(kinesics).
a. Physicaldistance.
b. Touch.
c. Bodyorientation.
d. Eyegaze.
e. Laughter.
D. Principlesofconversationalstyle.
1. It’snotunconsciousbutautomaticandinvisible.
2. We tend to look through language and seek psychological expla-
nations.
3. Wedrawconclusionsbasedonpersonality,intentions,abilities,or
groupstereotypes.
4. Knowingtheculpritmaybeconversationalstyledifferencesliftsthe
burdenofpathologyandblame.
5. Becomingawareofconversationalstyleprovidesafirstlineof
defense.
E. WoodyAllenin“AnnieHall”:
Thisguygoestoapsychiatristandsays,“Doc,mybroth-
er’scrazy.Hethinkshe’sachicken.”Andthedoctorsays,
“Well,whydon’tyouturnhimin?”Andtheguysays,“I
would,butIneedtheeggs.”Well,that’sprettymuchhowI
feelaboutrelationships.
F. Theconversationalchickendoesn’tgiveustheperfectcommunication
eggsweseek,butwekeepatit,becauseweneedrelationshipswithoth-
ers—notjustromanticrelationships,butallthefleetingandongoinginter-
actionsthatmakeupourlives.Thiscourseshowshowlinguisticscan
begintoshedlightonhowconversationworks—what’sgoingonwhenit
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goeswell,whatcanbethecausewhenitgoesawry,andhowyoucan
makechangestoincreasethechancesthatmoreofyourconversations
willgowell.Asaresult,you’llbemorelikelytohavesuccessfulrelation-
ships,bothatworkandathome.
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FOR GREATER UNDERSTANDING
Questions and Essays
1.Whatarethemajorelementsofconversationalstyle?
2.Inwhatwaysmightconversationalstyleaffectrelationsbetweenbusiness
peopleorpoliticalfigures?
Suggested Reading
Tannen,Deborah.Introduction.That’sNotWhatIMeant!:HowConversational
StyleMakesorBreaksRelationships.NewYork:BallantineBooks,1986.
Books and Articles of Interest
Gumperz,JohnJ.DiscourseStrategies.CambridgeandNewYork:
CambridgeUniversityPress,1982.
Gumperz,JohnJ.“InteractionalSociolinguistics:APersonalPerspective.”
TheHandbookofDiscourseAnalysis.Eds.DeborahSchiffrin,Deborah
TannenandHeidiE.Hamilton,215-228.Malden,MAandOxford:Blackwell,
2001.
Lakoff,RobinTolmach.LanguageandWoman’sPlace:Textand
Commentaries.Revisedandexpandededition.Ed.MaryBucholtz.Oxford
andNewYork:OxfordUniversityPress,2004.
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