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ALEPH BOOK COMPANY
An independent publishing firm
promoted by Rupa Publications India
First published in India in 2019
by Aleph Book Company
7/16 Ansari Road, Daryaganj
New Delhi 110 002
Copyright © Yashica Dutt 2019
All rights reserved.
The author has asserted her moral rights.
The views and opinions expressed in this book are
the author’s own and the facts are as reported by her,
which have been verified to the extent possible, and the
publishers are not in any way liable for the same.
No part of this publication may be reproduced,
transmitted, or stored in a retrieval system, in any form
or by any means, without permission in writing from
Aleph Book Company.
ISBN: 978-93-88292-40-5
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
For sale in the Indian subcontinent only.
Printed and bound in India by
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall
not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired
out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s
prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than
that in which it is published.
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For
My mother, who taught me that I could do anything I wanted and
helped me live it, often at a great personal cost.
Rohith Vemula, who lit a flame that made my silence impossible.
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CONTENTS
Author’s Note ix
Prologue xi
1 The Early Years 1
2 The Caste System: How it Began 10
3 Education and Financial Strife 19
4 Humiliation in Mussoorie 33
5 The Reality of Untouchability 41
6 The Long Road to St. Stephen’s 50
7 The Argument for Reservation 69
8 Culture Cache and Onward to Columbia 92
9 Dalit Movements and Ambedkar’s Legacy 104
10 My Introduction to Ambedkar 131
11 Dalit Women’s Movements 142
12 The Danger of the Single Narrative 158
Epilogue 180
Acknowledgements 185
Notes and References 187
Index 208
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AUTHOR’S NOTE
I spent close to ten years working as a journalist in Delhi. During that
time, writing a book wasn’t something I could ever have seen myself
doing. I didn’t think I had enough to say, that I was willing to share
with the world. After I came out as Dalit, I no longer had anything to
hide. Everything about my life was connected to a larger narrative.
Everything that I had done so far or that had happened to me was
somehow related to my caste. But I didn’t want to tell just my story.
I also wanted to tell the stories of all those Dalits that the media and
society at large had ignored. Through their accounts and by making
sense of my own life, I have tried to piece together a larger picture of
what casteism truly looks like today.
Before I started thinking deeply about it, like most of us, I never
saw caste for what it really is—the invisible arm that turns the gears
in nearly every system in our country. It’s been working silently for
so long that we have stopped noticing it, even though it exists all
around us. Whether we realize it or not, almost all critical decisions
and developments in the country, whether in the justice system,
government or media, are upper-caste decisions. And they almost
always exclude lower castes or Dalits. Caste doesn’t only come into
play with regard to certain issues—manual scavenging, reservation,
government jobs or cow traders. It is part of every aspect of all our
lives. What I hope this book will do is let you see how.
In this book, I talk of the lives of a varied group of Dalits: those
who live in the cities and in villages, those who read Ambedkar or
don’t, those who are out as Dalit or not and those who exist somewhere
in between. Clearly, I don’t speak for every Dalit in the world. There
are thousands of stories I have yet to discover. But as a journalist, a
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x coming out as dalit
researcher, a writer and a Dalit woman who spent most of her life
in hiding, I hope to speak for those whose voices haven’t been heard
before.
The only thing I don’t do is ask if casteism still exists. And you
won’t either, once you listen to those who are shouting to be heard.
w
The descriptors ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ to refer to people who belong
to various caste groups are arbitrary, illogical and offensive. I use
these terms since they are widely understood, but I reject the implied
inherent ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’ that they have come to stand for.
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