Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness

247 Pages·2014·1.49 MB·English

by  Tal Ben-Shahar PhD

Praise for Choose the Life You Want
“With his customary insight, Tal Ben-Shahar lays out the elements of a
happier life in short, thought-provoking chapters that will inspire readers both
to think more deeply about their lives—and to take action to turn those ideas
into reality.”
—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times–bestselling author of The Happiness
Project and Happier at Home
“Ben-Shahar provides eloquent and clear strategies for living in the potency
of daily awareness and choice. He takes the most common tests and traps we
face as human beings and enables us to look clearly at options to makes us
more alive, more mindful and happy. He challenges us to find our freedom to
make the choice for the life we want.”
—David Surrenda, PhD, CEO, Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and
author of Retooling on the Run
“By offering 101 powerful yet actionable ways to live a more meaning-full
life, Tal has done most of the heavy lifting for us. In the end, he leaves us
with perhaps the simplest choice of all: Read this book!”
—Scott A. Snook, PhD, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration,
Harvard Business School
Praise for Happier
“Ben-Shahar, one of the most popular teachers in Harvard’s recent history,
has written a personal, informed, and highly enjoyable primer on how to
become happier. It would be wise to take his advice.”
—Ellen J. Langer, author of Mindfulness and On Becoming an Artist
“This fine book shimmers with a rare brand of good sense that is embedded in
scientific knowledge about how to increase happiness.”
—Martin E. P. Seligman, author of Flourish
Praise for Being Happy
“Ben-Shahar teaches that happiness isn’t as elusive as people think.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Being Happy drew me in immediately and kept me captivated for hours. Tal
Ben-Shahar seamlessly weaves personal examples, Gladwellian stories, and
illuminating research findings to impart a valuable message. Every person
concerned with success—and that includes most of us—should read this
book.”
—Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness
“This book will inspire you to realize your innate potential for happiness and
awaken the genuine aspiration to change, while avoiding the trap of
perfectionism and the unrealistic demands of the ego.”
—Matthieu Ricard, author of Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most
Important Skill
“In Happier, [Ben-Shahar] invited us to rethink our assumptions about
happiness and what it depends on. Now, in Being Happy, he invites us to
discard the fallacy that the pursuit of ‘perfect’ is the best indicator of success
and happiness.”
—Nathaniel Branden, author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Also by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD
Happier:
Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment
The Pursuit of Perfect:
How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life
Even Happier:
A Gratitude Journal for Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment
Being Happy:
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life
CHOOSE
THE LIFE
YOU WANT
The Mindful Way to Happiness
Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD
New York
Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness
Copyright © Tal Ben-Shahar, 2012
All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or
online reviews, no portion of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form
or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or information
storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
The Experiment, LLC
220 East 23rd Street, Suite 301
New York, NY 10010-4674
www.theexperimentpublishing.com
The Experiment’s books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums
and sales promotions as well as for fundraising or educational use. For details, contact us at
[email protected].
Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are
claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and The Experiment was
aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been capitalized.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ben-Shahar, Tal.
Choose the life you want : the mindful way to happiness /
Tal Ben-Shahar.
pages cm
Originally published in 2012 as: Choose the life you want: 101 ways to create your own road to
happiness
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-61519-195-6 (pbk.) — ISBN 978-1-61519-163-5 (ebook)
1. Happiness. 2. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Title.
BF575.H27B444 2014
158—dc23
2013050005
ISBN 978-1-61519-195-6
Ebook ISBN 978-1-61519-163-5
Cover design by Christine Van Bree
Author photograph by Judy Rand
Text design by Pauline Neuwirth, Neuwirth & Associates, Inc.
Manufactured in the United States of America
Distributed by Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Distributed simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen and Son Ltd.
First printing January 2014
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
To my parents
Contents
Introduction
1. Choose to choose
2. Be mindful of the wonder
3. Take a step back
4. Think and act purposefully
5. Carry yourself with confidence and pride
6. Make a difference
7. Just do it!
8. Forgive
9. Experience your work as a calling
10. Actively learn the lessons of hardship
11. Appreciate and learn from those around you
12. Express and reveal
13. Seek the win-win
14. Savor life
15. Treat your body with respect
16. Create your own luck
17. Remind yourself of your true self
18. Commend and compliment
19. Be a benefit-finder
20. Listen with empathy and openness
21. Invest in experiences
22. Be open to suggestions
23. Say yes only when your vision is served
24. Accept reality and act on it
25. Bring humor and lightness
26. Focus on what truly matters
27. Focus and think
28. Move on
29. Be hopeful and optimistic
30. Make others feel good
31. Focus on strengths and abilities
32. Let go
33. Focus on process
34. Perceive hardship as temporary
35. Move
36. Open your mind and heart to learning
37. Connect to your values
38. Choose deliberately
39. Smile
40. See the glass as half full
41. Be present
42. Seize the moment
43. Do what you want to do
44. Learn from failure
45. Help and contribute
46. Breathe deeply and slowly
47. Respect those close to you
48. Maintain the strength of independence
49. Pursue your passion
50. Appreciate the good
51. Embrace silence
52. Be true to your self