Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work

193 Pages·2004·0.598 MB·English

by  Marilee G. Adams, Marshall Goldsmith

Praise for
Change Your Questions,Change Your Life
“QuestionThinking puts you on the playing field with outstanding executives—those
truly effective leaders who have the courage, charisma, and wisdom to know just
what to ask and how. You can’t underestimate the power of inquiry in business. This
book will make a measurable difference in your life—both professionally and per-
sonally.”
—Debra Benton, author of How to Think Like a CEOand
Lions Don’t Need to Roar
“In Congress or the physics lab, I have tried to develop the important skill of asking
myself the tough questions, framed in a way that they can be answered constructive-
ly. Marilee Adams’ enlightening new book teaches, in a clever, readable way, tech-
niques for asking the right questions so we can achieve preferred outcomes in our
professions, friendships, and personal lives. I think I can see improvement already.”
—U.S. Congressman Rush Holt
“I read this book cover to cover twice. I had valuable insights each time! It helped me
change some of the processes by which I attempt to understand and cooperate with
nature. I also thought about how useful it would be for politicians and diplomats to
use Dr. Adams’ questioning methodologies. It could make our world a safer place.”
—David Pensak, Ph.D., Chief Computer Scientist,
E.I. DuPont de Nemours, Inc.
“Marilee’s new book is an amazing conversation. With clarity and accessibility, she
models a process whereby we can intentionally change our way of internal inquiry.
Imagine being in conscious charge of our own thoughts! A wonderful tool for coach-
es, helping professionals, and all who desire to transform their inner conversations.”
—Pamela Richarde, M.A. Master Certified Coach
“This is the best book I have ever read on using questions for self-development,
career success, and organizational development. It is an invaluable aid to healthy
thinking and creative decision-making. This is a splendid achievement.”
—Ronald Gross, author of Socrates’Wayand
Chair, University Seminar on Innovation,
Columbia University
“Great read! If you are going to get to the ‘heart of change’ you have to ask the right
questions. This book hits the bull’s eye.”
—Dan S. Cohen, coauthor (with John Kotter) of
The Heart of Change
“A breath of fresh air. Marilee Adams helps open the door to innovation, creativity,
and inspiration. This book is a treasure chest.”
—Harrison Owen, author of The Spirit of Leadershipand
founder of Open Space Technology
“This book is great. I couldn’t put it down! It clearly communicates how the questions
we ask ourselves and others determine our results—including in sales. I am strongly
recommending this Change Your Questions,Change Your Lifeto everyone who takes
my sales courses.”
—Jacques Werth, coauthor of High Probability Selling
“This fable is destined to be a classic in the genre of Who Moved My Cheese?
QuestionThinking will make your life more effective regardless of personal history,
personality type, or profession. Buy this book and read it tonight. Your life will never
be the same.”
—Stewart Levine, author of The Book of Agreementand
Getting to Resolution
“This book is an invitation to success for individuals and organizations. Dr. Marilee
Adams has created a surprisingly simple practice to help move awayfrom judgments
that prevent success and towardlearning that propels us to our goals. Best of all, the
same practices that make a difference for individuals also offer practical guidelines
for learning organizations.”
—Victoria J. Marsick, Ph.D., coauthor of
Sculpting the Learning Organizationand
Professor, Teachers College, Columbia University
“This eminently readable tale shows how a business executive matures into a suc-
cessful inquiring leader. Dr. Marilee Adams’ Learner-Judger mindset model gets to
the heart of a healing practice for people in all walks of life. This book teaches one
to question, listen, and learn; it presents a method that promotes genuine dialogue.
It should be a bestseller.”
—Professor Maurice Friedman, Ph.D., author of
Martin Buber:The Life of Dialogue
“Questions, more than answers, have the power to change our lives. Question-
Thinking brings you into a world of successful decision-making. This book delivers
the goods: transformation, improved judgment, and innovation. Can a book really
change your life? The answer is ‘Yes!’”
—Hildy and Stan Richelson, authors of
The Money-Making Guide to Bonds
“Marilee is smarter than anyone I know about asking the questions that
really matter.”
—Lillian Brown, author of Your Public Best and
The Polished Politician,named “one of the 100 most
influential PR people of the century” by PR Week
“Marilee Adams realizes, as few do, that the best result of any question is not neces-
sarily an answer, but a better question! She has written a most accessible book
which many people will find useful in both their work and personal lives.”
—Dee Hock, Founder and CEOEmeritus, VISAInternational
change
your
questions
change
your life
7 powerful tools for life and work
Marilee Adams,Ph.D.
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life
Copyright © 2004 by Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D.
Adapted from The Art of the Question.Copyright © 1998 by Marilee C.
Goldberg, Ph.D.
AZ Corp and QTec are fictional corporations and used solely for the purpose
of illustrations in this work. The Author is unaware of any actual corpora-
tions or entities registered or operating as such at the time of writing. Any
similarity between these and any actual entities is purely coincidental.
This material is used by permission of John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distrib-
uted, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying,
recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior writ-
ten permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations
embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted
by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed
“Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
235 Montgomery Street, Suite 650
San Francisco, California 94104-2916
Tel: [phone], Fax: [phone]
www.bkconnection.com
Ordering information for print editions
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First Edition
Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-57675-241-8
PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-57675-646-1
2008-1
Text design by Detta Penna. Cover design MvBDesign.
For Ed Adams,
my husband and muse.
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Contents
Foreword vii
Acknowledgments x
■
Introduction 1
■
1 Moment of Truth 9
■
2 A Challenge Accepted 17
■
3 Discovering Learner and Judger Questions 31
■
4 Kitchen Talk 55
v
■
5 Seeing with New Eyes,
Hearing with New Ears 65
■
6 Accept Judger,Practice Learner 89
■
7 When the Magic Works 99
■
8 Ben’s Breakthrough 113
■
9 Amour! Amour! 127
■
10 The Inquiring Leader 137
■
QuestionThinkingTMWorkbook 147
Afterword 169
Notes 171
About the Author 173
vi
Contents
Foreword
“H
ow can this book help you and
the people important to you have better lives?” This is the
key question I urge you to keep in mind as you read this
valuable book. The great ideas presented here, in a system
of tools Marilee Adams calls QuestionThinking, provide a
solid new way of thinking that that can make a positive dif-
ference in all our lives.
There are many ideas in this book that helped me.
You’re sure to find some that will help you, too. Change Your
Questions, Change Your Life provides methods, skills, and
vii