Busy: How to Thrive in a World of Too Much

244 Pages·2014·1.29 MB·English

by  Tony Crabbe

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Acknowledgments
A
big thanks go to everyone at Little, Brown and Grand Central; it has been a
true partnership working with you. Thanks to Tim Whiting for his faith in me,
and for shaping my initial ramblings into something much more valuable. To
Zoe Bohm and Sara Weiss, my editors in the UK and the US; patient to the last,
I have loved working with both of you. To Kate Hibbert and Andy Hine, who
have sold this book all over the world; and to Rick Wolff, who brought this book
to North America. Thanks to Megan Gerrity, the production editor, and Angelina
Krahn, the copy editor, you have localized the English and improved my writing.
Finally, thanks to Julie Paulauski, for all your imagination and energy in
publicizing the book.
Dad, thanks for that “walk around the sheepfold” that saved me from a gray
life of numbers. And thanks to Mum for being my foundation, my safe place
(and my source of the world’s best macaroni cheese). I couldn’t imagine better
parents or a better childhood. Paddy, thanks for always being the first to ask, and
for endlessly encouraging me. Barry, you’re an inspiration, a catalyst for me and
so many others. Thanks for the endless support of Dulcie and me.
Martin, Pete, Fiona, Doug and Gerry: you’re all my favorites! (Pete, by the
way, this is the only bit of the book you need to read.) I love you all and I’m
hoping this book might create an alternative nickname for me other than Spud!
Dame, thanks for the invite to that conference, which triggered all of this, but
mostly thanks for being a good friend and co-conspirator. Shiv, thanks for being
such a brilliant pain in the neck to keep me writing. Dom and Kate, thanks for
allowing me to drink all your tea and write the first half of this book in your
garden shed.
To my children: Jack, the brilliant questioner and engineer; you have the
courage to walk your own path—you’re very special and I can learn a lot from
you. Ben, my cheeky chappie who still skips down the street; your endless sense
of fun always makes me smile. Seren, you’re such a princess, punching above
your weight in this family—full of fire, full of ideas and full of cuddles.
Together, the three of you make me more happy than any daddy could hope to
be, and you fill my life with shafts of pure joy. Thanks for being patient with me
and this book. I am hugely proud of all of you: no wonder my favorite number is
three!
To Dulcie: You have carried, cajoled and motivated me through this project.
Like all our schemes, this was a team effort; a yin and yang pairing of opposites
bound by a common purpose. This book could not have happened without you—
you have given up such a lot to allow me to do this, and you have taken on such
a lot too. Not only that, your smart business guidance over the years has brought
me to this place; it helped me to find my own career path. In thanks, I dedicate
this book to you, my wife and best friend, my soul mate, my love and my life.
As the Buddha said two-and-a-half thousand years ago… we’re all out of
our fucking minds.1
—Albert Ellis (considered the second most influential
psychotherapist in history, 1913–2007)
H
ow long does it take you to reach for your first shot of email each day? This
is followed shortly afterward by a coffee, and the day starts in a rush. On the
way to work you utilize your time wisely, crunching through more email and
messages, making the odd call. You hit work at a run, bounce from meeting to
meeting, task to task, juggling, responding and executing. It feels like demand
after demand; you’re drowning but you mustn’t show it. So you plow on, faster,
head down, doing, doing, doing.
At some point you leave the office; still working, you enter your home. Your
family is wonderful, but a burden and a distraction as well. You spend an
evening of split attention, email on tap; you get irritated easily. You know, of
course, that in principle you should switch off and enjoy your time with your
loved ones, but you are so busy at the moment. Anyway, you’re doing it for
them.
You try to relax with wine and the TV and go to bed exhausted (with a final
check of the phone for email). Your sleep is shallow; your brain is still working
and worrying. Tomorrow you’ll wake up unrefreshed.
You can’t escape the feeling that you’re failing as a partner, a parent and a
friend; failing to keep up and perform as you’d like; failing to lead the life you’d
hoped for. You’ve become a little hollow, a little brittle and a little helpless.
The alarm sounds and you reach for your first shot of email…
Preface
B B
USTING USY
We’re Wrong
In 1996, eight climbers set off to climb Everest. They had all the right
equipment, they were well trained and they were fit. They made good progress.
Then things changed. It appears there was something of a traffic jam toward the
summit, and there may have been some weather changes and so progress slowed.
There is a rule on Everest that if you don’t reach the summit by a certain time,
you have to abandon your attempt. On that day, these really experienced but
frustrated climbers should have turned back, but instead they kept going. They
reached the summit too late in the day, had to climb down in darkness, and died.
Christopher Cave, a former stockbroker, heard about this and it bothered
him.1 It reminded him of what he’d seen happen in a lot of companies. Those
companies would commit to a strategy. Then, as the business context changed,
evidence would start appearing that the strategy was a bad idea. Instead of
looking dispassionately at the new information and stopping to reflect on a better
course of action, these businesses responded to their frustrated efforts with more
activity. In effect, to avoid having to face the possibility that they were heading
in the wrong direction, they increased their efforts in the wrong direction.
I see the same thing with individuals. The world has changed; you don’t need
me to tell you that. The problem is, we haven’t. Despite all our technology and
training, our strategies for coping and succeeding come from the Industrial Age.
They haven’t changed, despite the evidence piling up that they’re not working.
Despite everything we try, we remain overloaded at work and overcommitted at
home, and it seems to be getting worse. Instead of facing the reality that our
current approach doesn’t seem to be helping reduce our sense of overwhelm, we
redouble our efforts—smartphones never leaving our sweaty palms—in the
wrong direction, killing ourselves with endless busyness. This book is an attempt
to persuade you to stop, to rethink the way you respond to all the information,
demands and expectations hitting you on a daily basis. This book suggests an
alternative approach.
“Busy”
Let me start by explaining what I mean by “busy” (because this book is no
manifesto for laziness). “Busy” is that frenetic, always alert multitasking that
propels us through overburdened lives. It involves being always “on,” glancing
regularly at our phones and jumping from task to task. It is the juggling,
cramming and rushing that makes up so much of our daily existence. It is
urgency, distraction and exhaustion.
Why We Think We’re Busy
We think we are busy because we have so much to do, at work and at home. Our
organizations are more demanding than they’ve ever been, our inbox and to-do
list are bulging and our calendars are crammed full of meetings. The pressure
doesn’t stop when we get home; we feel buried beneath the avalanche of chores
and expectations, harried by nonstop errands and the constant shuttling of
children from one activity to the next. We’re trying our best, but it seems a
hopeless task. We’re just busy; that’s life today.
Why We’re Really Busy
Busyness isn’t essential. Yes, there is a lot to do, but believing you’re always
busy because you have so much to do is both false and unhelpful. This is why
you’re busy:
Busy Is Easier
Busy is the easy option. We are busy because we don’t make the tough choices.
We allow the world and our inbox to set our agenda, rather than think for
ourselves. It’s easier to simply react; to choose to try to do everything, rather
than make the difficult decisions and unchoose things—it takes more courage to
do less. In fact, as Ben Hunnicutt explains, busy is actually one of the seven
deadly sins; it is slothfulness. In the Middle Ages, slothfulness had two forms:
one was lazy, the other—called acedia—was running about frantically. “There is
no real place I’m going, but by God, I’m making great time getting there.”
Busy Is Avoidance
All those things you keep meaning to do—those things that will make a real
difference in your life and career—are hard to do. In the heat of the moment,
when we have to choose between easy work and hard work, between skimming
through email and grappling with that complex project, we more often than not
choose the easy, busy activity. We throw ourselves into frenetic activity and give
ourselves the perfect excuse for not doing the big-thinking stuff. In being busy