Table Of ContentADVANCE PRAISE FOR
Build Your Dream Network
“An easy-to-use guide to the art of networking in the ‘new economy’ . . . Kelly marvelously succeeds in
instilling in her readers the attitude that whether one is attempting to secure a job, find a publisher, or
finance a new business venture, tapping into the right network is the answer.”
—Publishers Weekly
“We’re a collaborative species, only succeeding when we work together. Build Your Dream Network is
about building a network where people can get stuff done, sharing in mutual success. It offers seriously
good advice for people who want to network in a manner that’s genuine and effective. I wish I had it thirty
years ago.”
—Craig Newmark, founder of craigslist and craigconnects
“How does someone without ‘connections’ become a must-know influencer? Kelly Hoey shares the new
rules for transforming from outsider status to the name everyone keeps hearing about—giving passionate
innovators and trailblazers the opportunity to truly change the world. Brilliant tips that are essential in the
new economy!”
—Ophira Edut, The AstroTwins, www.astrostyle.com
“I wish I had a copy of this for every person who has networked into my inbox to ask for assistance in
advancing their business or career, and has asked for connections the wrong way. I’d hit them over the head
with Kelly’s book . . . and then make them read it! Build Your Dream Network will help you avoid
concussions and successfully connect with people who can help you get to where you want to be.”
—Alison Levine, author of New York Times bestseller On the Edge
“Anything worth doing requires a team of champions and supporters—and this book is the essential guide
for how to cultivate that team long before you need it.”
—Marci Alboher, vice president of Encore.org and author of The Encore Career Handbook
“To define Kelly Hoey as a connector would be a major understatement. She’s a super-connector because
people know she gets things done. I’d advise everyone else to work to earn the same badge of honor.”
—Tara Hunt, digital marketing executive and author of The Power of Social Networking
“The digital world is filled with social media gurus [but] Kelly is a guru who uses traditional and social
media tools to help people focus their efforts and achieve results. She has a profound ability to build strong
networks, but more powerful than that, she understands when and how to activate a network, and how to
leverage connections to build value.”
—Elizabeth Talerman, CEO and managing partner of Nucleus
“Everyone thinks of networking as that ‘gross’ thing done to others. But what if you knew what Kelly
teaches you about it? You would learn that your networks are how you make your ideas mighty enough to
dent the world.”
—Nilofer Merchant, award-winning entrepreneur, TED speaker, and author of The New How and 11 Rules
for Creating Value in the #SocialEra
“A savvy, fun, and engaging bible for intelligent and authentic twenty-first-century interaction. Insightful,
encouraging, and entertaining, Build Your Dream Network takes you step by step through the dos and
don’ts of networking online and offline, with lots of targeted advice along the way. Rich with insights from
key experts, this will fast-track you toward building successful, meaningful, and long-lasting relationships
with people that matter. Highly recommended!”
—Dr. Sue Black, OBE, and author of Saving Bletchley Park
“I’m a big fan of Kelly’s and I love her new book. Build Your Dream Network is a great new guide that
paves the way for you to harness the power of relationships and reap the rewards of networking. An
absolute must-read.”
—Porter Gale, keynote speaker, adviser, and author of Your Network Is Your Net Worth
For the world’s greatest nephews plus
Luciana, Phoebe,
and Monty
Contents
Advance Praise for Build Your Dream Network
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
A Networked Career
1 Build Your Network
2 Get Your Head in the Networking Game
3 How and Where to Start
4 Clubs, Crowds, Committees, and Cohorts
5 #Networking
6 Connecting the Dots
7 Networking #Fail
8 Test, Fail, Learn, and Scale
Acknowledgments
Notes
About the Author
A Networked Career
“DO YOU RECOGNIZE anyone here?”
I smiled and whispered in my friend Janet’s ear, “Yup. That’s Ivanka Trump
standing right behind you. And Tory Burch just walked in the door.”
We stood in an elegant, full-floor duplex apartment on Park Avenue, where
seventy-five carefully selected guests were gathered for a private reception and
dinner with activist Malala Yousafzai. The guest list included Trumps,
Kennedys, and Tisches. It was not a crowd I’d ever imagined mingling with
when I first began my career in the beige Bay Street offices of the corporate law
firm Miller Thomson.
Back then, at age twenty-three, I had no idea what I really wanted to be. Law
was not some well-thought-out career plan; it just seemed a safe bet. Looking
back, I think of that initial career as fulfilling more of an expectation—much like
the predictable forward motion of a conveyer belt—than a proactive choice.
And, really, what else do you do with an undergraduate degree in political
science and economics? Back in 1988 you packed your poli-sci degree along
with your big hair and mom jeans and headed off to law school.
Pursuing a passion project, starting a business, working remotely, or having
several careers at once—these ideas were inconceivable. Back then they meant
you either couldn’t hold down a job, were unemployable, or simply lacked
focus. Sharing was not a source of income, and working from home was not a
real job.
Confined by the vision of my immediate connections and the economic times,
the best career plan I had imagined was being rewarded with lock-step
promotions up the corporate ladder. In other words, I had drunk the “work hard
and get rewarded and promoted” corporate-for-life Kool-Aid.
And that exactly described the pretty humdrum treadmill of my career until
2002, when I took steps to actively change direction.
How? Looking back, the common thread to my professional life (which has
zigged and zagged from suits in office towers to coworking spaces to coffee
shops to private airplanes, VIP rooms, and speaker podiums) has been networks
and an active focus on creating powerful connections.
If you’re reading this and dreading another book about how to work a room
or hand out business cards while munching on chicken satay, you can relax—
randomly schmoozing is not what I am talking about here. I hate walking into
rooms filled with strangers. And I actively avoid hors d’oeuvres served on a
stick.
Haphazardly circling rooms filled with strangers is old school and
counterproductive. I’m not in sales, nor am I an extrovert (actually I’m an
ambivert, squarely situated between introverts and extroverts), 1 so I avoid what
I call “random acts of networking.” If I could find a better word to use than
“networking” I would, but for now my goal is to change what you think that
activity is and, more important, how you go about doing it.
Networking is a way to go about solving a problem.
My aha! moment first came in 2002, when I was exhausted from working by
the billable hour and needed a new career focus for my legal education and
eleven years of transactional experience. As a first step, I spent eighteen months
actively cultivating a legal-management-focused network in order to transition
out of the practice of law and into law firm management.
I broke free; I reengaged with my career; I networked more. In 2009 I became
a member of 85 Broads, a global business network for women, and nine months
later ended up its first president. I signed up for an angel-investment boot camp
in 2012, and with that experience in my wallet, I transformed my career
opportunities again as I began angel investing in emerging tech. My investments
diversified along with my networks. My contact base and dinner invites tripled.
My confidence in my career choices and investments skyrocketed. Later I joined
the cofounders of the startup accelerator Women Innovate Mobile. They’d been
looking for a third partner, and every single networking outreach effort they
made led them to me. When you know people, and those people know what you
do, success knows how to find you.
By setting specific goals first—key to initiating any networking process—
I’ve networked and successfully connected online, in person, at receptions and
on committees, via e-mail and, yes, occasionally over a caffeinated beverage.
Today, not some but all my opportunities arise from and because of the strength
of my network and the way I go about connecting. And this includes
opportunities for others. I am constantly asked for introductions or advice.
Description:Cut through the networking noise and start building the powerful, real relationships needed to succeed in our digital world If you think of networking as schmoozing at boring cocktail parties or scrolling through LinkedIn for new contacts to add, think again. In the social media age, you need a mod
