Table Of ContentHow Not to Get Played
Belisa Vranich, Psy.D.
and Holly Eagleson
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hcibooks.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lozano-Vranich, Belisa, 1966-
Boys lie : how not to get played / Belisa Vranich and Holly Eagleson.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
eISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9343-3 (ebook) eISBN-10: 0-7573-9343-8 (ebook) 1. Teenage girls—Sexual
behavior—Juvenile literature. 2. Teenagers— Sexual behavior—Juvenile literature. 3. Sex instruction for
girls—Juvenile literature. 4. Sex instruction for teenagers—Juvenile literature. I. Eagleson,
Holly. II. Title.
HQ27.5.L69 2010
306.70835—dc22
2010021445
©2010 Belisa Vranich and Holly Eagleson
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
HCI, its logos, and its marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442–8190
Cover design by Justin Rotkowitz
Interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield
This book is dedicated to the
fathers, brothers, boyfriends, and
husbands who don’t lie.
To the ones who keep women believing
that not all men are dogs.
CONTENTS
Introduction
LIE #1: “Sex is only penis and vagina.
Anything else doesn’t count.”
Defining sex, virginity, and what you’re really doing
when you hook up
LIE #2: “Guys are built to cheat.”
Myths about monogamy, infidelity, and who—surprise!—
is naughtier by nature
LIE #3: “You’re a slut if you’ve had sex with
a lot of guys.”
Why boys get respect for sleeping around and girls
get a bad reputation
LIE #4: “You can hook up with a friend without
having feelings involved.”
From BFFs to FWBs and all the hazy stages in between
LIE #5: “If you can’t have an orgasm with me, there’s something
wrong with you.”
Understanding female arousal and what happens
when girls get it on
LIE #6: “If you’re attracted to a girl, you’re a lesbian.”
Experimentation and your sexual identity
LIE #7: “I’ll pull out before I come.”
And other tall tales that have the same bad ending:
You being knocked up
LIE #8: “I can’t wear a condom so you need
to use birth control.”
Contraceptive responsibility and what to do when you
get the rubber runaround
LIE #9: “That bump has always been there.”
Protecting yourself from STIs, players, and other stuff
that creeps you out
LIE #10: “I could be with someone hotter, but I chose you.”
How to make peace with yourself from head to toe
and declare war on body hate
LIE #11: “You shouldn’t feel that way; you’re crazy.”
When your heart puts your mind to the ultimate test
LIE #12: “We should keep this between us.”
The secret lives of undercover lovers
LIE #13: “Don’t worry, I won’t show anyone
these pictures.”
Love and sext in the digital age
LIE #14: “Have a drink or some weed; it’ll make
you feel better.”
Sex, drugs, and the rocky roles they play together
LIE #15: “It wasn’t rape—you seemed into it.”
What you need to know about date and acquaintance
rape and other forms of sexual assault
LIE #16: “You need someone to keep you in line.”
Dating violence and the surprising forms of “love”
that are really abuse
LIE #17: “I’ll love you forever.”
And other promises he just can’t keep
References
INTRODUCTION
This is a book for girls who like boys.
We should know—we’re two of them! And we want to help you keep liking
boys.
So before we go any further, let’s make one thing clear. Don’t let the title of
this book confuse you: It is not a manifesto against guys. And it’s not a license to
man-bash or blame a problem with one boy on an entire gender at large. If you
came here looking to hate, move along.
What this book is, then, is a handbook for smart girls who are ready to deal
with some of the messy truths about guys and relationships. If that’s you, then
listen up. Because we’re going to get real with you—fast.
If you want to have a good relationship with guys, you need to question every
word that comes out of their mouths.
Yes, it sounds harsh. But when it comes to getting what they want sexually,
young men will say anything—literally anything— to make it happen. Seriously,
a straight guy will profess to loving the Jonas Brothers if it helps him get in your
pants.
We’re not saying all guys are like this 100 percent of the time. Nor do they
“only want one thing from you,” as dads across the country have preached for
generations. In fact, a lot of great guys say plenty of nice things to make girls
feel genuinely pretty, sexy, worthwhile, and loved. Who can blame you for
believing them or just wanting to get into their pants, too? Everyone is curious
about what it’s like to connect with the opposite sex, emotionally and physically.
You won’t see us making the mistake of assuming that you don’t want sex just as
much as guys do!
At the same time, there’s usually a lot more at stake for girls when they do
have sex. Young women are more likely to be the ones who end up
brokenhearted, losing their self-respect, and even being physically or
emotionally abused. It’s not like guys are out to hurt girls. It’s just that the
inexperienced ones are often victims of their own urges. They want something—
unlimited booty whenever and from whomever—and they’re afraid the truth
