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More praise for
Black Belt Negotiating
“The principles of Martial Arts have a powerful parallel to the practices in
good negotiating. In the next generations, the cultures of Asia will play an
increasingly dominant role in world affairs. Michael Soon Lee is an excellent
guide to show us not only how to become a master negotiatior, but how to
adapt easily to the changes in the world’s business culture. Buy this book,
read it now, and keep it handy for continued reference. The world is rapidly
changing. . . . Are you?”
—Jim Cathcart, author of The Acorn Principle
“Becoming a black belt negotiator is much like becoming a fighter pilot. The
skills it provides will help you come out on top in any situation. Michael has
laid out a flight plan that would have been very valuable to me when I was a
CEO. Controlling your emotions and negotiating with integrity and honor
are key ingredients to success in business.”
—Howard Putnam, former CEO of Southwest Airlines, author of
The Winds of Turbulence
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Black Belt
Negotiating
Become a Master Negotiator
Using Powerful Lessons
from the Martial Arts
Michael Soon Lee
with Sensei Grant Tabuchi
AMACOM
American Management Association
New York •Atlanta •Brussels •Chicago •Mexico City •San Francisco
Shanghai •Tokyo •Toronto •Washington, D. C.
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Special discounts on bulk quantities of AMACOM books are available to
corporations, professional associations, and other organizations. For details,
contact Special Sales Department, AMACOM, a division of American
Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
Tel: 212–903–8316. Fax: 212–903–8083.
E-mail: [email protected]
Website: www.amacombooks.org/go/specialsales
To view all AMACOM titles go to: www.amacombooks.org
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in
regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the
publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional
service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a
competent professional person should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Lee, Michael Soon.
Black belt negotiating : become a master negotiator using powerful lessons from
the martial arts / Michael Soon Lee ; with Grant Tabuchi.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-8144-7461-7
1. Negotiation in business. I. Tabuchi, Grant. II. Title.
HD58.6.L45 2007
658.4'052—dc22 2007020972
© 2007 Michael Soon Lee
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted
in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of
AMACOM, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway,
New York, NY 10019.
Printing number
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION: Martial Arts and the Tao of Negotiating 1
PART I: WHITE BELT
CHAPTER 1 Modern Lessons from an Ancient Tradition 7
CHAPTER 2 Overcoming Fear of the Blow 18
CHAPTER 3 Playing to Win 27
PART II: YELLOW BELT
CHAPTER 4 Learning the Rules of Power 37
CHAPTER 5 Spying on Your Opponent 50
CHAPTER 6 Identifying Vital Striking Points 61
PART III: GREEN BELT
CHAPTER 7 Developing the Fighting Stance 73
CHAPTER 8 Opening Tactics 81
CHAPTER 9 Reading Your Opponent 94
PART IV: BLUE BELT
CHAPTER 10 Countering Your Opponent’s Moves 109
CHAPTER 11 Finding Middle Ground 118
CHAPTER 12 Distancing Yourself from the Battle 130
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vi (cid:1)(cid:1)(cid:1) Contents
PART V: RED BELT
CHAPTER 13 Making Time Your Ally 139
CHAPTER 14 Developing Advanced Fighting Skills 145
CHAPTER 15 Breaking Impasses 168
PART VI: BROWN BELT
CHAPTER 16 Turning the Battle in Your Favor 183
CHAPTER 17 Dealing with Dirty Fighters 190
PART VII: BLACK BELT
CHAPTER 18 Ending the Contest with Respect 205
CHAPTER 19 The Road to Continuous Improvement 211
Appendix 225
References 229
Index 231
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THANKS
Betty Cooper
Frank Furness, CSP
Ian Griffin
John Ho
Ophelia Lopez
Tina Ramirez
Caitlin Williams
My special thanks to editor Amanita Rosenbush in Oakland, California
for helping to bring order out of chaos. Also, my eternal gratitude to my lov-
ing wife, Miriam, for all of her patience and support in making this book
possible.
Finally, my appreciation to Sensei Grant Tabuchi, without whom this
book would never have been possible. He certainly has the patience, forti-
tude, and knowledge of a true black belt.
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INTRODUCTION
Martial Arts and the
Tao of Negotiating
How would you like an extra $5,000 or $10,000 or more a year to spend?
How would you like to have more leisure time? These and more are the ben-
efits of developing exceptional negotiating skills.
How would your life be different if you were a better negotiator? You could
be paid more money for your work. You could be driving a nicer car. You
could be living in a bigger house. You could be doing more of what you want
rather than just automatically complying with what other people ask you to
do. Almost everything you have merely been dreaming about could easily
become a reality if only you learned the art of strong negotiating.
We have opportunities to negotiate every day, and yet we often fail to get
the best possible deal. Studies show that most people believe they could do
better when bargaining. This is true not just for the more obvious activities
such as asking for a raise or buying a house, but also for issues that do not
involve money at all. Who does the dishes at your house? What movies will
the family see? Who takes out the garbage? Who drives the kids to school?
Who walks the dog? Where will we go out for dinner? All these issues were
negotiable at some point. Most of us just give in without question on such
issues, and some of us resent the inequality but don’t know what to do
about it.
So what does negotiating have to do with martial arts? I am an American
and proud of it. My great-grandfather came to the United States from Can-
ton, China, in 1855. As an Asian American professional speaker who helps
people become better negotiators, I’ve had the opportunity to travel to many
countries and wouldn’t choose to live anywhere else in the world.
