As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age of Longevity

298 Pages·2009·0.71 MB·English

by  Abigail Trafford

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Praise for As Time Goes By
“I have a GPS for my car to help me find my way. If I
wanted a ‘GPS for my life’ I’d go to Abigail Trafford. She’s
the best guide to help me find my way in the second half
of life.”
—Harry R. Moody, Ph.D., director of
Academic Affairs, AARP
“Abigail Trafford proves she is a great storyteller and an
original thinker as she maps out the new territory of inti-
mate relationships in the second half of life. Whether you
are married or single, alone or in a relationship, this won-
derful book is for you.”
—Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Letters to a
Young Therapistand Seeking Peace
“Everything I have ever wanted to know about sex and the
second journey but didn’t dare ask, Abigail Trafford has an-
swered in her revealing book, As Time Goes By. Her own
experience as well as those of others makes for an honest,
forthright, and compelling read.”
—Joan Anderson, author of
A Year by the Sea and The Second Journey
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As Time Goes By
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ALSO BY ABIGAIL TRAFFORD
My Time
Crazy Time
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As Time Goes By
Boomerang Marriages,
Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples,
and Other Romantic Adventures
in an Age of Longevity
A B I G A I L T R A F F O R D
Basic Books
New York
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Copyright © 2009 by Abigail Trafford
Published by Basic Books,
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
Throughout the book, asterisks indicate that names, identifying
details, and some events relating to the individual have been
changed. No case study, other than those in which real names are
used, is or is intended to be descriptive of any living individual.
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part
of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without
written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in
critical articles and reviews. For information, address Basic Books,
387 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 10016-8810.
Books published by Basic Books are available at special discounts for
bulk purchases in the United States by corporations, institutions, and
other organizations. For more information, please contact the Special
Markets Department at the Perseus Books Group, 2300 Chestnut
Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call [phone],
ext. 5000, or e-mail [email protected].
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Trafford, Abigail.
As time goes by : boomerang marriages, serial spouses, throwback couples, and other
romantic adventures in an age of longevity / Abigail Trafford.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-465-00280-1 (alk. paper)
1. Middle-aged persons—Psychology. 2. Middle-aged persons—
Sexual behavior. 3. Middle-aged persons—Attitudes. I. Title.
HQ1059.4.T69 2009
306.81084’40973—dc22
2008037930
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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For the grandchildren
Brooks Sophia Lila
(cid:129) (cid:129)
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Contents
Acknowledgments ix
PROLOGUE Arc of Love xi
Turmoil
PART ONE
1 The Big Churn 3
2 Retired Spouse Syndrome 25
3 In Sickness and Health 45
4 Sexy Beasts 67
Surprise
PART TWO
5 Circus Act 89
6 Breaking Up 109
7 Romantic Adventures 129
8 New Normal 149
vii