Table Of Contentiv  ARMS TO PROTECT, ARMS TO FIGHT
Acknowledgements
This book is the result of wide  collaboration,  involving  several
hundred people throughout the world. We can't name  everyone
who helped in the early stages, discussing ideas, putting us in touch
with potential partner organisations and so on, nor is it possible to
mention  all those  who transcribed  and translated  hours of
testimony, but we owe them  all a great  deal.  Others  provided
invaluable comment and support for the country chapters, most
notably  Vanessa  Vasic Janekovic  (Croatia  and Bosnia),  Urvashi
Butalia (India), Maria Candelaria Navas (El Salvador), Maria Holt
(Lebanon),  Veronica  Campanile  (Nicaragua),  and  Barbara
Franklin,  Tricia  Parker  and Corry  Régnier  (Vietnam).  We  are
grateful to those who volunteered to help with the long task of
getting  all the testimonies  typed  onto  computer  disk:  Loma
Guinness, Poonan Joshi, Sharron  Mendel,  Sally O'Leary,  Bunny
Page, Mercedes Paramio, Jacquie Webster and especially Catherine
Sayers,  who also  did some  research.  Wendy  Davies  provided
valuable  additional  editorial  support;  thanks  also  to  Barbara
Cheney, and to Heather Budge-Reid, Nigel Cross, Juliet Heller and
Steve Percy for helpful  comment.
Finally, none of this would have happened without the women
who were willing to share their stories—it is to tbem tbat we owe
the deepest thanks.
INTRODUCTION
OUR WARS, OUR WORDS
The women whose testimonies appear in this book bear witness to
the  experience  of  war  in  our  time.  Their  first-hand  accounts
provide  a  perspective  on  warfare  that  no  other  information,
however dramatic, can match. The reality is that nearly 50 years
after the establishment of the United Nations (UN), with its mission
to  promote  international  peace  and  security,  brutal  conflicts
between  and  within  nations  are  more  widespread  than  before
and—as these women's stories vividly illustrate—it is civilians who
now overwhelmingly bear the brunt of the terror and the violence.
In 1993, despite hopes that the end of the Cold War would bring
more widespread peace, 42 countries were involved in 52 wars [1].
Most of these were civil wars, which is partly why the UN, whose
original mandate referred  only to wars between states, has been
unable to fulfil its mission to prevent them.
Current estimates are that about 75% of those killed in war are
civilians, a proportion which  has risen steadily from  around  10-
15%  at the beginning of the century [2]. The new "smart" weapons,
designed to inflict  minimum  damage on non-military targets, are
irrelevant to most wars. Even the most technologically sophisticated
countries  use  weapons  of  indiscriminate  destruction  such  as
chemicals and mines, as well as tactics such as trade boycotts that
operate almost entirely against civilians. The tendency is for  war
today to be conducted at dose quarters—as the testimonies show,
local people often get caught up in the fighting. In particular, in civil
wars of insurgency  and  counter-insurgency,  non-combatants  are
often, willingly and or not, involved in supporting fighters and then
face retaliation from the opposing forces.
Moreover, increasing numbers of people are being driven out of
their  homes: in  1994, of the  estimated  46 million  refugees  and
internally displaced people scattered around the world, as many as
40  million  may  have  fled  conflict  or  its  consequences.  If  the
numbers  of displaced  and  wounded  are added  to the  estimated
death  figure,  the  total  proportion  of  war  casualties  who  are
civilians may be as high as 90% [3]. Shocking though these figures
are,  it is hearing individuals describe what displacement, death and
loss mean to them personally that really brings home the human
cost of conflict.
2  ARMS TO FIGHT, ARMS TO PROTECT
"War is what happens afterwards"
War—especially  civil war—brutalises  society.  It also  destroys
infrastructure, development prospects and families' ability to be
economically productive. In the words of Marie from Lebanon
(see page 267): "The real experience of war is not the shelling
and so on, those are just moments, though they are the ones
you see on TV. War is what happens afterwards,  the years of
suffering hopelessly with a disabled husband and no money, or
struggling  to  rebuild  when  all  your  property  has  been
destroyed." It is this most damaging aspect of war—the way the
economic  and  social  costs  can  last  for  generations—which
comes across so powerfully through personal testimony, with its
human detail and variety.
As the proportion of civilian casualties has risen, not only has
women's  suffering  increased  but so have their  responsibilities.
Women hold families and communities together, often playing a
key role in food production and other economic activities, and
caring for the children, the elderly and the sick. War distorts and
disrupts  these  patterns  and  responsibilities,  making  them
infinitely more difficult  to fulfil, just when they are even more
essential because of the breakdown of community structures. The
pressures on women are even greater when they are forced to
flee with their dependants: more than 80% of the displaced are
women and children. Women are also vulnerable to rape and
sexual  exploitation  which  are  common  features,  if not  actual
weapons,  of  war.  This  type  of  suffering  can  leave  deep
psychological  wounds,  which  may  remain  hidden  but  can
severely  undermine  the  capacity  of  both  women  and  their
communities to recover.
And women are crucial to the recovery process of both their
families  and  the  wider  community.  Increasingly,  aid  and
development organisations, faced with the fact that in more and
more countries armed conflict  is becoming the major  threat to
development, are seeking ways of alleviating the impact of war on
women, so that they can emerge from trauma and loss, and help
rebuild their societies.
The individual voice
Women have generally been under- or misrepresented in stories of
war, and are most often seen as grief-stricken, powerless victims.
And although development and relief agencies largely recognise
the importance of women's active roles—economic and social—in
helping communities survive conflict, there is still a tendency to
INTRODUCTION  3
categorise and  generalise. "Women  and  children" are still  often
seen  as one  unit,  for  example.  Such  labels, if they  are  used  to
influence  policy,  can  be limiting  and  even  damaging. The  term
"refugees"  conjures  up an image of a featureless  mass of people
queuing to be fed, whereas time and again in the interviews Panos
collected, women describe how the worst aspect of being a refugee
is precisely the humiliation of losing one's identity and having all
options for independent action curtailed.
Indeed,  a  primary  motivation  behind  Panos'  oral  testimony
project  on  women  and  conflict  was  to  offset  the  tendency  for
generalisation. The aim was to contribute to the process of helping
individual women speak for themselves, to gather anecdote  and
personal experience, to communicate perceptions as well as "facts",
and so to complement more quantitative or academic studies. Thus
Panos did not set out to analyse a particular aspect of  women's
experience, or advance a particular argument, but simply to record
the individual voice. Above all, these testimonies reflect the great
diversity  of women's  experiences  and  reactions: from  deepened
prejudice to hard-won imderstanding, from faith in the future  to
cynicism  or  despair,  from  a growing  belief  in  one's  abilities  or
powers of survival to a heightened sense of vulnerability and fear.
This  selection  makes  no  claim  to  be  representative:  it  is a
collection  of personal  stories from  some  85 women.  (Over  200
testimonies were gathered in total—for a more detailed description
of the project, see page 24.) Of the conflicts in which they were
involved, all but two (the communal conflicts in India) would be
classified as wars, and the majority as civil wars, although in many
cases there was a high level of foreign  intervention. We did not
seek to cover the full range of political allegiances; our aim was to
cover  as wide  a range  of  personal  experience  as possible.  The
women interviewed are from varied backgrounds and experienced
conflict in different ways. Some bore arms or actively participated
through,  for  example,  feeding  or  sheltering  fighters;  some
supported or initiated peace actions; others were fully employed in
ensuring their family's survival—at home, in hiding, or in camps.
Most  took  on  new  organisational,  economic  or  social
responsibilities.
In the rest of this introduction, we have tried to pull together
some common and contrasting threads in the testimonies. Many
women  are  quoted,  but  the  detail  of  their  stories  and  the
background to the conflicts in which they were involved are to be
found in the chapters which follow—this overview is no substitute
for reading the women's words.
4  ARMS TO FIGHT, ARMS TO PROTECT
OVERVIEW
Women's participation
Women's identification  with and participation in war, and ability
to deal with its consequences, are much influenced  by the nature
of the conflict. In Uganda, the women  interviewed  regarded  the
war  as  a  senseless  battle  for  power  between  men,  motivated
primarily by greed. They described  those who caused the war as
"power  hungry",  wishing  only  "to  get  rich  by  force".  Women
found  themselves  caught  in  the  middle—looted,  abducted  and
raped by soldiers of both sides—so that it felt as though "instead of
fighting  each other,  [the soldiers] turned  to fighting members of
the community" (Culina).
In  contrast,  the  Tigrayan  women  interviewed,  who  all
participated in the struggle against the Ethiopian government, saw
themselves  as fighting  for  political justice  and  social  progress—
including equality for themselves. Moreover, they were victorious,
and  felt  pride  in  their  suffering  and  their  achievements.
Psychologically, they appeared to be stronger post-war than those,
like the Ugandan  women,  who  had  survived  a war which  they
viewed as pointless butchery.
Between  those  two  extremes  there  are  many  variants.  In El
Salvador, many women actively supported  the struggle for social
and political justice and some took up arms, although within the
guerrilla  movement  there was no  clear political commitment  to
social progress for women. In Nicaragua, the experience of being
part  of  a  revolutionary  movement  left  some  women  with  a
stronger  sense  of  their  own  rights.  "It  was  a  wonderful  fight,
because those who fought and died did not die in vain, they taught
us how to fight for our rights," claimed Maria. Others, such as the
women  of  Somaliland,  identified  with  the  war  as  a  justified
struggle against oppression, and participated in a number of non-
violent  ways.  The  subsequent  descent  into  more  fragmented
rivalries, however, is now making their sacrifices much harder to
bear.
Where conflict is primarily along ethnic or religious lines, women
are likely to identify with one particular side, but not necessarily to
play an active role. Of course, ethnic or religious difference does not
inevitably entail conflict—Muslims and Hindus in India, Tamils and
Sinhalese in Sri Lanka,  for example, all spoke of having lived in
harmony  together  in  the  past—but  escalating  tension  and  open
conflict quickly force people to declare allegiances.
For many  of the  women  this was a deeply  painful  decision.
INTRODUCTION  5
Those  who  belonged  to  two  sides  through  intermarriage  faced
family splits and divided loyalties, and sometimes had to suppress
part of their identity to protect children or husband. In other cases,
women  were  reluctant  to  subscribe  to  the  idea  of  ethnic  or
community  identity  as paramount  because  they  held  a broader
view of personal identity. "Joseph and I are Catholic but we gave
our  children  Arab  names  which  do  not  show  their  religious
identity," explained Laure (Lebanon). Many women, looking back,
expressed  concern  that  in  accepting  an  ethnic  or  community
identity,  whether  voluntarily, or  under  pressure,  they  had
contributed to the polarisation of their society.
Communities which have sustained a harmonious multi-ethnic
existence are particularly traumatised by its disintegration and by
the experience of neighbours, friends and relatives turning on each
other. The closer the bonds which have been betrayed, the harder
they are to rebuild. "My friends were shooting at me, at us. Do you
know the feeling  when  your very soul hurts?" asked  a Bosnian
refugee.  "A lot of them were my very good friends,  people with
whom I have shared both sadness and happiness. I lost them  for
ever, in the most unacceptable way...."
Joining  in
Even  when  the  women  interviewed  strongly  identified  with  a
community  or a cause, the majority  participated  in conflict  only
when their families or~ homes were threatened or attacked—which
may be a frequent occurrence, as the stories from Uganda show.
Women  were  sometimes  excluded  from  a  more  active  role
because they were fully  occupied  with  family  responsibilities, or
were expected to be so. For those who wished to contribute more,
their scope for action was often  defined  by the roles with which
they  had  been  invested  by society.  During  the  communal  riots
prompted by the 1947 Partition of India, Sikh, Hindu and Muslim
women  clearly  identified  with  their  own  communities.
Representing the honour and purity of their religion, they were
targets of attack by the hostile communities, and used as symbols
by their own. As the testimonies show, this role was seen as more
important  than  their  individual  survival  and  many  were
encouraged  to take their own lives rather than suffer  abduction,
rape or conversion. This is an extreme example of constraints on
women's active participation, one where the only act of resistance
available  was  to  turn  their  capacity  for  violent  action  in  on
themselves and commit suicide.
Women  had far greater scope for action in the Tigrayan  rebel
6  ARMS TO FIGHT, ARMS TO PROTECT
movement, which encouraged, or at least allowed, them to become
combatants  alongside  men,  thus  demonstrating  the  equality  the
movement  professed.  More  often,  especially  in  insurgency
movements, women  are encouraged  to participate because  their
labour, skills and  relative ability to move around  unnoticed,  are
needed. Their roles are  usually  to provide  support  and  care  for
male combatants and victims, but also to work as couriers and in
intelligence. As Xot, a supporter of the Vietcong, put it: "There was
one thing about being a woman which favoured her participation
in the struggle: it was easier to get close to the enemy.... The enemy
looked down on us but we infihrated their ranks more easily than
the men."
These  tasks  can  involve  as  much  physical  courage  and
endurance as actual fighting, but do not overtly challenge gender
stereotypes.  When  support  includes  building  roads  and  laying
mines, there is no clear line separating support trom combat—but
there is still an ambivalence, felt by most women as well as men,
about women using violence in cold blood, or inflicting  brutality.
As other studies have shown, even when male-dominated  fighting
forces  accept  women  as  fighters,  they  rarely  give  them  equal
responsibility for inflicting actual physical damage on the  enemy
[4]. And judging from Panos' interviews, few women demand this
ultimate equality.
Women as supporters and perpetrators  of violence
Many  of  the  women  interviewed  spoke  with  pride  of  having
encouraged  or incited  men  to acts of violence, but  Kokila, a Sri
Lankan Tamil, is relatively unusual in her proud acceptance of the
value for women of violent action: "[Participating in the struggle]
is the need of the time. Instead of dying screaming, being raped by
an aggressor army, it is a relief to face the army with  [your own[
weapon."  Women  speak  about  bearing  arms  in  a  number  of
testimonies but only a few, most notably in Lebanon and Vietnam,
also describe being involved in killing.
It was striking how often  people claimed  women  combatants
were more brutal  than  their male counterparts. This could  have
been  due to a certain self-selection  by the women who took  up
arms. It could  be  more  perception  than  fact,  stemming  from  a
feeling that it is "unnatural" for women to use violence. In Liberia,
it was said  that  women  combatants  are  unwilling  to talk  about
their experiences, except among fellow combatants, because of the
feeling  of  shame.  Agnes,  a  young  Liberian  whose  own  war
experiences have left her deeply cynical and distrustful, said, "If I
INTRODUCTION
was one of [the combatants], I would  definitely be ashamed. A Tamil  Tiger, Sri
woman is supposed tQ be somebody [with a] soft spot... to be able Lanka
to analyse, to love and care for little ones.... But they were very MortJnAdter/PonosP'Klures
harsh and aggressive, even towards babies and children."
Clearly, no conclusions can be drawn from our testimonies, but
the indications are that it is a small number of women who join
men in using violence. The extent to which this is because society
does  not encourage  them  to do so, or because  they  have
internalised a taboo, or because they are "by nature" less likely to
join in premeditated brutality is unclear. "I never believe anyone
who says 'I could never kill anyone'. There are times when I would
have shot people if I had had a gun... I don't think women are any
different  from men in that way," was the view of one  Lebanese
interviewee (Marie).
Sexual violence and exploitation
Sexual  violence  and rape  has always  been  a feature  of war.
Violence  against  women,  for example,  may take  a  specifically
sexual  form;  a number of the women  had witnessed  women's
breasts being cut off and the disembowelling of pregnant women.
But there is now a clearer recognition that sexual violence can be
an actual weapon, rather than expression, of war.
8  ARMS TO FIGHT, ARMS TO PROTECT
The threat and the act of rape is often used as a weapon against
community identity, especially where ethnic or religious purity is
at stake. Defiling  women  is a way of violating and  demoralising
men—rape  is  often  performed  in  full  view  of  family  and
community. In this sense it is an attack on everyone, although it is
the women who suffer physically, and bear the burden of shame
and social ostracism. The use of rape as a weapon of war in Bosnia
has  drawn  the  attention  of  the  West  because  of  its  scale  and
organisation, all of which has strengthened the argument that rape
should be regarded as a war crime. For some, well aware that rape
has  been  similarly  used  in  other,  non-European  conflicts,  this
recognition is somewhat belated.
More often  rape is part of the general violence and suspension
of normal behaviour during conflict, sometimes even seen as one
of "the spoils of war". Refugee women, often  living without  male
relatives  or  partners,  in  make-shift  homes,  are  particularly
vulnerable to rape or sexual exploitation—sometimes by the very
people supposed to protect them, such as guards or police.
A different kind of sexual violence—licensed by military leaders, if
not  deliberately  planned—is  the  abduction  of  women  to  supply
sexual services to fighters. This was commonly practised by the rebels
in northern Uganda where, since the 1980s, the spread of HIV/AIDS
has added a further terrible dimension to the consequences of forced
sex. Indeed, war and  instability  has been  identified  as one of the
factors in the spread of AIDS, because even if forced sex is not an issue
(and it often is), there is almost always disruption to family and social
life, and increased movement of populations [5).
There are many  other ways in which  conflict  distorts  normal
sexual  relations  and  increases  the  possibilities  of  men  sexually
abusing or exploiting women. In a war-torn  society, becoming a
prostitute or a camp follower  may be a woman's best  economic
option to support herself or her family. Some have no choice but
to live by servicing soldiers: more than one interviewee had been
rejected by her community after suffering  rape.
A variant on this distortion of relationships is illustrated by the
story of the young Liberian woman who has struck a bargain with
a soldier of the  (non-Liberian)  peacekeeping  forces  (ECOMOG).
Like most  of  her  contemporaries,  Agnes'  relationships  are  now
based entirely on economics. "We just believe in the barter system
that started during the war. You get the pleasure of my body, I get
the pleasure of your pocket." Her actions reflect the distorted post-
conflict  national  economy,  in  which  the  pay  packets  of  the
ECOMOG soldiers are almost the only source of income. Liberian
Description:reminder of what I had to live through," explained Vesna, a. Bosnian Croat who was raped for months by a Bosnian Serb. The status of women.