Am I Weird Or Is This Normal?. Advice and Info To Get Teens in the Know

1436 Pages·2002·13.36 MB·English

by  Marlin S. Potash

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©
Copyright 2001 by Marlin S. Potash, Ed.D., and Laura Potash Fruitman
All rights reserved,
including the right of reproduction
in whole or in part in any form.
FIRESIDE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster Inc.
ISBN-10: 0-7432-1754-3
ISBN-13: 978-0-74321754-5
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and
informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. It is sold with the understanding that the
author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical, health, psychological, or any other kind of
personal professional services in the book. If the reader requires personal medical, health, or other
assistance or advice, a competent professional should be consulted.
The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or risk, personal or
otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the
contents of this book.
We dedicate this book to Perle and Monroe Potash— may we always
make you proud
Acknowledgments
This book could not have been written without the help of our wonderful editor,
Doris Cooper, who shepherded it with good humor all the way; invaluable input
from Hilary Potash Fruitman, our unofficial third author (we thought you were
too young to be our coauthor when we started writing and you proved us
wrong!); the patience of Steven, Jazz, and Tasha; and the insight of our agent,
Todd Shuster.
Various professionals and organizations ensured that our information was
accurate and up-to-date. We gratefully thank William Pollack, Ph.D., for hisReal
Boysand belief in our vision to help real girls; and Kathleen Cowan, who earned
our admiration for reading the whole shebang in its rawest stage and giving us
helpful notes. Also, eternal gratitude to Frank Petito, M.D., the professional
colleague everyone should be so lucky to have in their corner. A special thanks
to Amy Beecher for her terrific illustrations in Chapter 3, and to Bob Stein, who
helped us edit the “must-keep” from the “gotta-go.”
Thanks to David Burgreen, Ben Diskant, Chris Fisher-Lochhead, Hannah
Frank, Colleen Hall, Rachel Heyman, Dan Manso, Ben Preston-Fridman, Rachel
Rosenberg, Matt Schneier, Nic van der Meer, and to the entire class of 2002 at
Friends Seminary in Manhattan: You’ve all been a great help with everything!
Particular thanks go to David Arnold, former head of Upper School at Friends
Seminary, and all the Upper Schoolers there, who were so generous with their
time, energy, and ideas about adolescence.
Appreciation to Fiamma Arditi, Mary Pipher, Norine Johnson, Ph.D., Ronald
Levant, Ed.D., The Hon. Sheila E. McGovern, Alfred Mendelsohn, Wendy
Oppenheim, Kary Presten, Burt Rosenberg, John Sahag, and Sarah Snider for
their unique contributions and inspiration along the way.
With gratitude to Planned Parenthood; Youth Crisis Hotline; Step Family
Foundation; Women’s Sport Foundation; Girls Incorporated; Students Against
Destructive Decisions (SADD); Anxiety Disorders Association of America;
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG); National STD
Hotline; National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information; National
Domestic Violence Hotline; Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN);
National Eating Disorders Organization.
And to all the patients and friends who shared their stories about adolescence
so that our readers could benefit. We hope they, too, have benefited by the
reliving and rethinking. We know our readers will be as enriched by their
generous sharing as we have been.
Contents
Acknowledgments
The Life List
1
Getting It On
Crushes
Getting a Date
On a Date
Getting Serious
One Last Dating Tip from Dr. Marlin
2
Getting Together
Communication
Jealousy
Breaking Up
One Last Love Tip from Dr. Marlin
3
Getting Physical
First Base
Second Base
Third Base
Home Base
Solo Sex
Being Gay
Everything You Need to Know About STDs but Were Afraid to
Ask
Love Sick
Protecting Yourself Getting in (Birth) Control
Getting an Abortion
Rape
The Healing Process
Date-Rape Drugs
One Last Sex Tip from Dr. Marlin
4
Getting Powerful
Puberty
Going to the Gyno
Periods
Looking Your Best
Eating Right
Eating Disorders
One Last Self-Acceptance Tip from Dr. Marlin
5
Getting Over It
Feeling Sad and Bad
Losing Control with Drugs
Alcohol
Smoking
One Last Survival Tip from Dr. Marlin
6
Getting Cool
Making Friends
The In-Crowd
Dealing with Prejudice
Best Friends
Friends and Guys
Friendships to Relationships