Table Of ContentTable of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Introduction
Acknowledgements
CHAPTER 1 - SO YOU THINK YOU WANT A DOG
CHAPTER 2 - HE’S NEARLY HERE—NOW WHAT?
CHAPTER 3 - HEALTH CARE 101
CHAPTER 4 - CHOWING DOWN
CHAPTER 5 - GROOMING AND ACCESSORIZING
CHAPTER 6 - BEHAVING AND BONDING
CHAPTER 7 - FUN AND GAMES AT HOME
CHAPTER 8 - FUN AND GAMES ON THE ROAD
CHAPTER 9 - BETTER DOG HOMES AND GARDENS
CHAPTER 10 - LOOSE ENDS—AND ENDINGS
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For the rescuers, who rescue us, too, by bringing dogs into our
lives, and for the first-time dog owners who’ve discovered it’s
never too late for puppy love.
INTRODUCTION
“You’re writing a book about dogs?” my friend Sharon asked, sounding
surprised. “I never really thought of you as a dog person.” Sharon and I have
known each other since we were 5, so I wasn’t surprised by her surprise. I never
really thought of myself as a dog person either, until I got a dog, which made me
a dog person by default. Before then, I was convinced there was a dog-person
demographic—one that I didn’t fit.
Not that I didn’t like dogs. Far from it. But I grew up in pre-hip Brooklyn, with a
mother who feared all creatures great and small. The dogs I saw on TV romped
around the country-side or chased balls down suburban streets. They didn’t
board elevators in rundown apartment buildings or beg for pastrami from the
corner deli. Nor did actual dogs frequent my early circles. The occasional
hamster and odd budgie found their way into my friends’ homes, but our
childhood menageries were canine-free.
Marriage, tiny Manhattan quarters, graduate school, publishing jobs with long
hours … all, I decided, ruled out getting a dog. Even when I bought a house with
a backyard in Tucson, Arizona, I remained dogless. Everyone knows that
coyotes, not their domesticated kin, live in the desert.
Besides, I had become a travel writer.
I might have rationalized my prime dog-rearing years away, secretly worried
that, like my mother, I lacked the canine caretaking gene. Then in 2004 I met
Rebecca, fellow writer, fellow foodie—and evangelical dog rescuer.
The next thing I knew, I was palling around with terriers.
Or, to be specific, one small terrier mix: Frankie.
I didn’t take Rebecca’s canine bait right away, mind you. Sure, the picture she e-
mailed me was cute, but Frankie was about 5 years old when he was found
skittering around the streets of Tucson. I’d always pictured myself with a new
model dog. And then there were my travels—not as frequent or far-flung as in
the past, but still a good fallback excuse. What would happen to Frankie when I
went away?
Rebecca informed me that older dogs were much mellower than puppies—and
thus a better fit for a newbie like me—and that Frankie was very low
maintenance. She promised to take care of him while I was gone, but pointed out
that many hotels accept small dogs. The fact that I was always holed up, writing,
when I was in Tucson was a real advantage, Rebecca added. She was certain I’d
give Frankie a great home.
It was this last assurance that finally reeled me in. If a dog rescuer thought I’d be
a good dog guardian … well, maybe I would be.
And so, after deeming my home dog-safe (Hint: neatness is not a criterion),
Rebecca asked me to suggest a date to begin Frankie’s two-week trial stay with
me. I optimistically chose my upcoming birthday.
I would like to report that Frankie and I bonded immediately, that as soon as his
trusting little face looked into mine I knew I’d made the right decision. I would
like to, but it would be a lie. Frankie’s little face wasn’t trusting; it was terrified.
He glued himself to my couch and went on a hunger strike. His sole demand:
Rebecca’s return. I spent my birthday in tears, certain I’d made the biggest
mistake of my life.
But pride and obstinacy have their rewards. I prefer not to admit that I’ve done
something stupid (unless I’m certain to be found out, in which case I confess, all
cheerful selfdeprecation) or that I’m inept (ditto). I knew I was ignorant about all
things canine, but I also knew that people far meaner than me managed to get
dogs to like them. Surely I could win over one small, dejected pup.
I started calling friends and asking questions, reading dog books, going to
training classes, asking more questions, reading some more. Frankie pitched in,
after his desire for food overcame his ardor for Rebecca. And slowly, despite
Frankie’s fears and mine, we built a life together—a rich, complex, and
frequently goofy one.
And that dog person profile? Feh. Anyone who likes dogs can—and deserves to
—be a dog person. It’s just a question of getting some basics under your belt.
Which is why I decided to write a book about dogs.
The result, Am I Boring My Dog?, is geared toward those who are contemplating
getting a dog, those who have just gotten a dog, and those who believe they can
do better by their dog—in short, the confused and the guilty. I remain among
their vast ranks. I know a great deal more about dogs than I did before I got one
and before I researched this book, but I learn something new each day. Frankie,
in particular, lets me know that I still have a long way to go toward
understanding his species—as, he believes, do animal scientists.
I’m not pleading ignorance as a disclaimer for anything I may have missed or
gotten wrong (although I’d be very pleased to be excused for both). Rather,
ignorance was at once an inspiration and a qualification for this project. People
who grow up with dogs often don’t know what they don’t know. It’s like the
friend from California who came to visit me in New York and couldn’t stop
laughing when he discovered there was a neighborhood in Queens called
Flushing. I’d gone through a childhood full of potty humor—including the entire
I.P. line; remember The Purple River by I.P. Peculiar and The Golden River by
I.P. Freely?—without ever noticing this fine local example.
Ignorance wasn’t my only qualification for writing this book, however. As a
travel journalist, I was charged with trying to make sense of foreign cultures—an
excellent preparation for exploring Dog World. Looking back on my Complete
Idiot’s Travel Guide to Mexico’s Beach Resorts, I’ve decided that Frankie is the
Acapulco of dogs: charming, a bit older, but with fame that—I hope—is about to
be burnished.
Getting a Ph.D. in literature turned out to be surprisingly useful, too. Compared
with the writings of critics like Lacan and Derrida, even the most arcane of the
many books I read by dog experts seemed lucid. My graduate school years at
NYU also accustomed me to taking direction from a small, hairy creature,
although Frankie is far handsomer—and considerably nicer—than my
dissertation advisor was.
It turned out to be the best of times and the worst of times to decide to write a
book about dogs. The current interest in all things canine suggests the existence
of many potential book-buyers, which is excellent. But that interest also
generated a vast amount of information that needed to be sifted through, much of
it incorrect. (This includes the popular notion of dogs as furry children; children
are, in fact, hair-challenged dogs.) Rather than risk data overload—and risk
boring you, oh gentle book buyer—I outlined the basic issues, citing additional
resources for those who want to explore them in greater depth.
For the same reasons, I’ve concentrated on first-dog—and therefore single-dog
—households. You’ll read about the importance of being a leader to your dog,
for example, but not about introducing your second pup to your first. I’ve also
resisted throwing too many humans into the mix. My prime focus is on the
relationship between one person and one dog, with other people pretty much
serving as support staff.
Frankie was naturally enlisted to illustrate many of the points I wanted to make.
