A Three-Factor Model of Couples Therapy: Projective Identification, Couple Object Relations, and Omnipotent Control

286 Pages·2017·2.394 MB·English

by  Robert Mendelsohn, Richard Billow

A Three-Factor Model of
Couples Therapy
Psychoanalytic Studies:
Clinical, Social, and Cultural Contexts
SeriesEditor
MichaelO’Loughlin,AdelphiUniversity
MissionStatement
PsychoanalyticStudiesseekspsychoanalyticallyinformedworksaddressingtheimplica-
tionsofthelocationoftheindividualinclinical,social,cultural,historical,andideologi-
calcontexts.Innovativetheoreticalandclinicalworkswithinpsychoanalytictheoryandin
fields such as anthropology, education, and history are welcome. Projects addressing
conflict, migrations, difference, ideology, subjectivity, memory, psychiatric suffering,
physical and symbolic violence, power, and the future of psychoanalysis itself are wel-
come,asareworksillustratingcriticalandactivistapplicationsofclinicalwork.
AdvisoryBoardMembers
John Adlam, Bethlem Hospital; Ricardo Ainslie, University of Texas at Austin; Ana
Archangelo,UNICAMP,UniversityofCampinas;ClaudeBarbre,TheChicagoSchoolof
Professional Psychology; Deborah Britzman, York University; Marilyn Charles, Austen
RiggsCenter;SudhirKakar,Writer&Psychoanalyst;IngoLambrecht,ManawanuiOran-
gaHinengaroServices;LynneLayton,MassachusettsInstituteforPsychoanalysis&Har-
vard Medical School; Luis Martin Cabrera, University of California, San Diego; Alex
Moore, UCL Institute of Education; Joseph Newirth, Adelphi University; Cora Smith,
JohannesburgHospital;SilviaSilberman,SchechterInstitute;TodSloan,LewisandClark
GraduateSchoolofEducationandCounseling;ReinholdStipsits,UniversityofVienna;
AnnieStopford,UniversityofWesternSydney;PeterTaubman,BrooklynCollege,City
University of New York; Ross Truscott, Duke University; Kirkland Vaughans, Adelphi
University;AngieVoela,UniversityofEastLondon;ValerieWalkerdine,CardiffUniver-
sity;andBrentWillock,TorontoInstituteforContemporaryPsychoanalysis.
TitlesintheSeries
AThree-FactorModelofCouplesPsychotherapy:ProjectiveIdentification,Levelof
CoupleObjectRelations,AndOmnipotentControl,byRobertMendelsohn
A Three-Factor Model of
Couples Therapy
Projective Identification, Couple Object
Relations, and Omnipotent Control
Robert Mendelsohn
LEXINGTONBOOKS
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BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationInformationAvailable
LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Names:Mendelsohn,Robert,1943-author.
Title:Athree-factormodelofcouplestherapy:projectiveidentification,coupleobjectrelations,and
omnipotentcontrol/RobertMendelsohn.
Description:Lanham:LexingtonBooks,2017.|Series:Psychoanalyticstudies:clinical,social,and
culturalcontexts|Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.|Descriptionbasedonprint
versionrecordandCIPdataprovidedbypublisher;resourcenotviewed.
Identifiers:LCCN2017026789(print)|LCCN2017025709(ebook)|ISBN9781498557085(Elec-
tronic)|ISBN9781498557078(cloth:alk.paper)
Subjects:LCSH:Couplestherapy.|Psychodynamicpsychotherapy.
Classification:LCCRC488.5(print)|LCCRC488.5.M4462017(ebook)|DDC616.89/1562--dc23
LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2017026789
TMThepaperusedinthispublicationmeetstheminimumrequirementsofAmerican
NationalStandardforInformationSciencesPermanenceofPaperforPrintedLibrary
Materials,ANSI/NISOZ39.48-1992.
PrintedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica
Contents
Foreword vii
RichardBillow
Preface xi
Acknowledgments xiii
IntroductionandOverview xv
1 PsychodynamicCouplesTherapyandtheThree-FactorModel:
ProjectiveIdentification,CoupleObjectRelations,and
OmnipotentControl 1
2 FactorOne:FirstAmongThree:HowDoesProjective
IdentificationShowItselfinInteractionswithEachOtherFactor? 13
3 FactorTwo:TheCouple’sLevelofObjectRelations 33
4 FactorThree:OmnipotentControl 63
5 TheoreticalImplications:TheRoleofProjectiveIdentification
andUnconsciousEnactments 81
6 ClinicalandTechnicalImplications 97
7 ClinicalandTechnicalInnovations:ProjectiveIdentification
andSpecialTechniquesforWorkingwithResistanceinCouples
Therapy 167
Conclusion:“MyAcquiredClinicalWisdom,”EightPostulates
aboutCouplestoTellOne’sStudents 207
Glossary 221
References 237
v
vi Contents
Index 245
AbouttheAuthor 259
Foreword
Richard Billow
Like being with Bob Mendelsohn himself, this book is the experience.
Whethergreetingorreadingtheauthor,youfaceauniquesensibility,aquick
mindthatmeetsyoursimmediately.Acascadeofinfluentialideasfollowsin
yourdirection.Togetwhatreallyisgoingon,youneedtoscanintently,and
notbelulledbyacharming,seeminglydown-to-earthdelivery.BobMendel-
sohn moves you; while not always agreeably, it is always worthwhile to
locatewhy.
My empathic friend listens to his own music as well as yours, responds
with difficult truths: “Yes, Naomi,” Bob sarcastically agrees with me, refer-
ring to my mother at her most vexing, as I take on a harsh and judgmental
tone referring to a student, a colleague, my mate. Really, who wants to be
subjected to such feedback? Yet, how could you deprive yourself by not
stayinginthere,comingbackformore?
Thomas Ogden (1997, p. 12) asserted that the therapist’s words should
“upset (unsettle, decenter, disturb, perturb) the given.” Mendelsohn upsets
himself too. We sit alongside him, witnessing his struggles with his own
feelings (and fantasies), describing instances wherein his internal experi-
ence—always in dynamic flux—leads him astray as well as guides him to
corehere-and-nowclinicalissues.
LetmeintroduceyoutoBobMendelsohnatworkwithacouple.Hewas
surprised to find the wife, Becky, remonstrating against her adulterous hus-
band’sfriend,whowasnot,inherwords,“loyal”tohim.
Mendelsohnwrites:
the material is confusing enough that I ask not about the issue being dis-
cussed....Thisisunusualforme,asItendtofollowthesessionmaterial....
Inretrospect,IbelievethatIwasalsoconcernedthatBecky’scommentswere
vii