Working with Toxic Older Adults: A Guide to Coping With Difficult Elders (SPRINGER SERIES ON LIFESTYLES AND ISSUES IN AGING)

311 Pages·2006·12.37 MB·English

by  Gloria Davenport PhD

Working with Toxic Older Adults
A Guide to Coping with Difficult Elders
Moving from Minnesota to California fol-
lowing her marriage in 1948, Gloria M.
Davenport, PhD, is still involved with
aging activities after working in Orange
County for 40 years, creating or devel-
oping a variety of programs in the help-
ing professions.
Gloria received her BA and Pupil Per-
sonnel Counseling Credential at Chap-
man University, her MA in Social Science
from California State University at Fuller-
ton, a Certificate in Assertion Training at
the University of California at Irvine, completed additional post-
graduate work in Pastoral Counseling at Claremont School of
Theology, and earned a PhD from Claremont Graduate University
in Education in 1991 at the age of 63.
In 1972, as a professor at Santa Ana College, Gloria initiated,
developed, chaired, and wrote the curriculum for a Human Ser-
vices Department, being one of the first to incorporate training
for older adult peer counseling. Subjects taught by Gloria were
primarily in the areas of applied psychology and personal and
professional growth and development. During the last 12 years
of her tenure she was the Counselor for Reentry Students and
Older Adults, teaching assertive self-development and personality-
type classes. She retired in 1996 to complete her research for this
book on toxicity in aging, a spinoff from her dissertation on "The
Determinants of Successful Aging."
In 1992 Gloria originated a workshop and support-group pro-
gram for adult children of toxic agers called ACTA. She has also
presented at two American Society on Aging Conferences, and
for 3 years wrote a monthly column on aging for the college's
Older Adult Newsletter.
Gloria is a member of the American Society on Aging, the
California Council on Gerontology and Geriatrics, The Associa-
tion for Gerontology in Higher Education, the Orange County
Behavioral Health Care—Older Adult Services Committee, and
the Orange County Roundtable Aging Network. In 1982 and 1988
she received commendations for outstanding service to the elderly
in Orange County.
She is also a member of the International Enneagram Associa-
tion, the Association of Psychological Type, and for many years was
a member of the International Transactional Analysis Association.
Working with Toxic Older Adults
A Guide to Coping with Difficult Elders
Gloria M. Davenport, PhD
with Foreword by Peggy Weatherspoon, MSG
Director, Orange County, California Area Agency on Aging
SPRINGER
PUBLISHING COMPANY
PAPERBACK
Copyright © 1999 by Springer Publishing Company, Inc.
All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,
recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of Springer
Publishing Company, Inc.
Springer Publishing Company, Inc.
11 West 42nd Street
New York, NY 10036
Cover design by Mimi Flow
Acquisitions Editor: Helvi Gold
Production Editor: Pamela Lankas
06 07 08 09 / 5 4 3 2 1
New ISBN 0-8261-0275-1 © 2006 by Springer Publishing Company, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Davenport, Gloria M.
Working with toxic older adults : a guide to coping with difficult
elders / by Gloria M. Davenport.
p cm. — (Springer series on life styles and issues in aging)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-8261-1223-4
1. Aged—Psychology. 2. Aged—Care—Psychological aspects.
3. Aged—Family relationships—Psychological aspects.
4. Personality disorders. 5. Temperament. I. Title. II. Series.
HQ1061.D32 1999
305.26—dc21 98-45 133
CIP
Printed in the United States of America by Bang Printing.
To all of you who live with,
work with,
associate with,
professionally serve,
teach about,
or want to prevent
Toxidty in Aging
This page intentionally left blank
Contents
Acknowledgements xi
foreword by Peggy Weatherspoon xv
Preface xvii
List of Figures and Tables xxi
Part I What Do You Mean, Toxic? 1
Chapter 1 Introduction, Definitions, Descriptions 3
Why the Term "Toxic Agers"? 4
How Does Toxic Aging Compare with Successful Aging? 6
Definitions 7
Who Are Toxic Agers? 8
What Causes Toxicity? 9
Does Extraversion or Introversion Make a Difference? 9
What Is Toxic Behavior? 10
Is Toxicity Verbal Abuse? 11
Is Toxicity Emotional Blackmail? 12
Is Toxicity a Mental Illness? 13
What About Multiple Diagnoses? 15
What About Toxicity and Physical Challenges? 16
Is Toxicity Found in Other Ethnic Groups and Cultures? 17
How Are Toxic Agers Perceived? 18
Summary 18
Vll
viii CONTENTS
Chapter 2 Why the Focus on Toxic Agers? 21
Raising Consciousness 21
Facing Reality 22
A Look at the Demographics 22
Need for Early Awareness of Toxicity 25
Shadow Work 25
Nourishment Versus Toxicity 28
Characteristics of Self-Induced Toxicity 28
Reflections 35
Summary 36
Chapter 3 How Do We Know They Are Toxic? 38
Behavioral Characteristics 39
Labeling of Toxic Agers 39
Professional Assessments 40
Nonverbal Signs 40
Assessment Checklist 40
How Would I Know If I Am Toxic? 43
Self-Assessment Toxicity Indicator 43
Cautions 47
Summary 48
Chapter 4 Are Toxic Agers Found in All Groups? 49
Psychotherapists 50
Community Centers 50
Senior Centers 51
Summary 57
Part II Who Is Affected by Toxic Agers, and How? 59
Chapter 5 Impact on Professionals 61
Where Are Toxics Found? 62
Facing Reality 63
Typical Professional Responses to Toxic Agers 63
Impact Examples 64
The Depth of Toxicity Impact 85
Summary 86
CONTENTS ix
Chapter 6 Potential Co-Victims? 88
How Does Co-Victimization Happen? 89
How Does Toxicity in Agers Impact Others? 91
Summary 106
Part III What Causes Toxicity? 109
Chapter 7 Can Theoretical Research Explain Toxicity? Ill
Empirical Indicators of Toxicity 112
Davenport Theories and Hypothesis 113
Gerontology Theories 116
Summary 118
Chapter 8 Is Nature the Cause of Toxicity? 120
Personality Definitions 120
Personality Theories 121
Summary 135
Chapter 9 Is Nurture the Cause of Toxicity? 137
Conditioning 137
Erikson's Life-Cycle Stages 139
The Feil Method and Life Task Theory 141
The Recovery Movement 144
The Internal Environment 148
Summary 151
Chapter 10 Is It Nature and Nurture? 153
Transactional Analysis 154
Defense Mechanisms 163
Control Theory 165
Cybernetics and Psychocybernetics 166
The Internal Environment 168
Summary 168