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by  Deww Zhang

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Kiwi Kinksters: BDSM in Auckland, New Zealand

Deww L Zhang

University of Auckland

A dissertation submitted in fulfilment of the requirements for the

Doctor of Philosophy in Psychology

The University of Auckland, 2016

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Abstract
PhD Journal Entry #13
16 October 2013 19:33
I've been told every PhD is a journey but I was expecting something a little
easier. I want you to go. I want you to stay. I don't know what I want. I don't
know what you want. If you're the Dom then you should decide. I don't feel
like the sub in total control of everything. I just feel like a wistful young girl
with her elbows propped up against the balcony rails, looking up the clock
tower with her chin in her cold hands, waiting for the hands to strike
midnight and trying not to despair at the prospect of the carriage turning
back into a pumpkin.

An ethnographic inquiry into the Auckland kink scene (the term kink encompasses erotic
practices that involve some form of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance/Submission and/or
Sadism/Masochism, and is interchangeably used throughout this thesis with the acronym
BDSM) – the first of its kind in New Zealand – constitutes the bulk of this dissertation.
Alongside direct observations made by the researcher-participant, 21 self-identified BDSM
practitioners were interviewed about their life experiences in relation to their BDSM
identities, practices and lifestyles. One of the concerns that BDSM practitioners had was
being discriminated against if their proclivities were made publicly known.

Thus, the next section of the dissertation uses a public opinion survey to investigate how New
Zealand (primarily Auckland) residents perceive BDSM and BDSM practitioners. The results
from this survey demonstrate that most respondents tend to agree with ‘BDSM-positive’
statements (such as ‘Kinky people are just like everybody else’) and disagree with ‘BDSM-
negative’ statements (such as ‘Kink is associated with a variety of serious psychological
disorders’), suggesting that they are fairly tolerant/accepting of BDSM.

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Finally, given how influential the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise has been in shaping the
public perception of BDSM over the past 5 years since this publication, the last section of the
dissertation focuses on how mainstream media – specifically the Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
movie – portray BDSM and BDSM practitioners, and how viewers engage with and respond
to these media representations. This was achieved by analysing 833 reviews of the movie and
asking 10 participants to view and respond to ten open-ended questions about the movie.
Despite the trend towards BDSM tolerance and acceptance, fictional narratives like Fifty
Shades that gain an enormous amount of traction worldwide (which enjoy far more publicity
than any non-fictional accounts of first-hand experiences with BDSM) continue to
promulgate problematic messages about BDSM practices and practitioners – a problem that
becomes evident when such messages are being disseminated among those who have little or
no interest in partaking in BDSM, may be less well-informed about what BDSM identities,
practices and lifestyles entail, and yet have the ability to make judgements and decisions that
will adversely affect BDSM practitioners.

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Acknowledgements
This enormous undertaking would not have been possible without the support and guidance
of a crew of invisible hands. First and foremost, my gratitude must be extended to the
Auckland kink scene and the wonderful people I have met. There were good times and there
were bad times (and some very ugly times, too!), unbelievably welcoming warm people and
understandably not-so-welcoming wary people, but you have all played a part in changing my
life. We have laughed and loved and hurt and celebrated and lost along our kink journey, and
I have learnt many life lessons along the way. To list a few names might risk offending or
belittling the enormous support offered by those not listed, but people like Anton, Craig,
Azzy, Sharon, Yvette, Kelly, John, Jodi, Jodie – thank you for becoming a part of my life.
You have weathered some rough storms with me and I appreciate your friendship. Venue
owners and event organisers also deserve special mention for their thankless efforts in
hosting and running local events.

I must also thank all my participants for taking the time and energy to make my projects
possible. My interviewees in particular have opened up and entrusted a lot of themselves to
me – not just when life was smooth-sailing and everything is easy to talk about but also failed
mono/poly relationships, life hardships, childrearing woes – thank you for your honesty.

Important, also, are the academic supervisors and mentors Glynn Owens, Phillipa Malpas,
Barry Reay and Lawrence Marceau who have given their time, energy and support towards
the fulfilment of this long and arduous mission – thank you for being effervescent lights at
the end of many dark tunnels.

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Family and colleagues who have tolerated my trying to juggle work, guitar, gaming, painting
and PhD cannot go unmentioned. Though some of them would no doubt confess to having a
voyeuristic interest in my PhD topic, their encouragement and other unspoken acts of
assistance have kept the gears of this dissertation turning despite the demands of working life.
Special thanks to Ushvin Rai for proofreading this colossal undertaking.

Last but not least, I must thank the team at Inter-disciplinary.net. They hosted the very first
conference I attended. I was inspired by all of the trailblazers in attendance – Abidemi,
Alister, Nick, Bradley, Jodi, Serena, Sophia to name a few – and they gave me the
opportunity and confidence to talk about and publish my work.
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Table of Contents
Abstract ...................................................................................................................................... 2
Acknowledgements .................................................................................................................... 4
Table of Contents ....................................................................................................................... 6
List of Figures ............................................................................................................................ 9
List of Tables ........................................................................................................................... 10
Chapter One: Why is researching BDSM important?.............................................................. 11
Research Questions .............................................................................................................. 17
Research Objectives ............................................................................................................. 17
Dissertation Structure ........................................................................................................... 19
Literature Review ................................................................................................................. 20
Literature search strategy, inclusion and exclusion criteria ............................................. 20
Informative ....................................................................................................................... 21
Informative: Introduction to BDSM ............................................................................. 21
Informative: Guidelines for health service providers ................................................... 22
Theory ............................................................................................................................... 26
Theory: History ............................................................................................................. 27
Theory: Literature reviews and meta-analyses ............................................................. 35
Theory: Queer theory .................................................................................................... 39
Theory: Sexual citizenship/rights ................................................................................. 40
Theory: Leisure theory .................................................................................................. 43
Praxis ................................................................................................................................ 45
Praxis: Quantitative methodologies .............................................................................. 46
Praxis: Qualitative methodologies ................................................................................ 48
Navigating the vanilla world ............................................................................................ 53
Navigating the vanilla world: Law and discrimination................................................. 54
Navigating the vanilla world: Media representations ................................................... 63
Summary ........................................................................................................................... 67
Chapter Two: Methodology ..................................................................................................... 68
Chapter Three: The Local Kink Scene..................................................................................... 79
Study One: Ethnography; Interviews ................................................................................... 79
Prologue: Personal Journey: A Reflexive Account of the Researcher ............................. 80
Introduction ...................................................................................................................... 85
Methods ............................................................................................................................ 87
Analysis ............................................................................................................................ 89
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Participant Profiles ........................................................................................................... 91
Results .............................................................................................................................. 93
Kink and the kinky community..................................................................................... 94
Events and playing in public ....................................................................................... 107
Safety, and when things go wrong .............................................................................. 117
Communication and relationships ............................................................................... 126
Kink identities and origins .......................................................................................... 137
The invisible ‘others’: Disability and ethnicity in kink .............................................. 142
Mainstreaming kink .................................................................................................... 148
Media (mis)representations ......................................................................................... 151
Vanilla assumptions .................................................................................................... 160
Conclusion ...................................................................................................................... 167
Epilogue .......................................................................................................................... 172
Chapter Four: The Vanilla World .......................................................................................... 175
Study Two: Public Opinion Survey ....................................................................................... 175
Introduction .................................................................................................................... 176
Methods .......................................................................................................................... 181
Results ............................................................................................................................ 183
Demographics ............................................................................................................. 183
Modified Attitudes about Sadomasochism Scale (Unweighted) ................................ 188
Modified Attitudes about Sadomasochism Scale (Weighted) .................................... 195
Discussion ....................................................................................................................... 202
Limitations .................................................................................................................. 204
Conclusion ...................................................................................................................... 206
Chapter Five: Public Service Announcement ........................................................................ 209
Study Three (A&B): Media (Mis)Representations of BDSM ........................................... 209
Introduction .................................................................................................................... 210
Methods .......................................................................................................................... 217
Study 3A – IMDB movie reviews .............................................................................. 217
Study 3B – Auckland Participants .............................................................................. 218
Analysis .......................................................................................................................... 219
Introduction ................................................................................................................. 219
Representations: Romance and BDSM as mutually exclusive ................................... 221
Representations: Sex as the sine qua non of BDSM ................................................... 225
Representations: Blurring the immutable line between abuse and consent ................ 229
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Representations: Wealth as inexorably linked to power ............................................. 232
Representations: Childhood trauma as the aetiology of undisclosed desires ............. 235
Conclusion ...................................................................................................................... 237
Chapter Six: Summary ........................................................................................................... 243
Phenomenological Experiences.......................................................................................... 245
Public Perceptions .............................................................................................................. 249
Media Representations ....................................................................................................... 252
Conclusion .......................................................................................................................... 254
Glossary ................................................................................................................................. 257
References .............................................................................................................................. 260
Appendices ............................................................................................................................. 294
Appendix A: Interview Schedule ....................................................................................... 294
Appendix B: Sample Interview Transcript (Margaret) ...................................................... 297
Appendix C: Original Attitudes about Sadomasochism Scale (Yost, 2010)...................... 326
Appendix D: Modified Attitudes about Sadomasochism Scale ......................................... 328
Appendix E: Original vs. Modified ASMS ........................................................................ 332
Appendix F: Survey Advertisements ................................................................................. 335
Appendix G: Ten Questions about the Fifty Shades Movie............................................... 339

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List of Figures
Figure 1. Pictorial depiction of some keywords that were explored during the ethnographic
interviews. ................................................................................................................................ 79
Figure 2. An amalgamation of some of the field notes taken by the researcher during the
beginning stages of the ethnographic project........................................................................... 90
Figure 3. Participant demographic overview. ......................................................................... 92
Figure 4. Mobile preview of the survey administered in this study. .................................... 175
Figure 5. Comparison between participants’ age range distribution and data obtained from
the 2013 Census (Statistics New Zealand, 2013a). ............................................................... 183
Figure 6. Comparison between participants’ ethnicity distribution and data obtained from the
2013 Census (results confined to Auckland only) (Statistics New Zealand, 2013b). ............ 185
Figure 7. Gender and sexual orientation distributions of participants................................... 186
Figure 8. Participants’ self-ratings of their kink acceptance/tolerance levels, frequency of
kinky thoughts, fantasies and/or experiences, kinky inclinations, and kink awareness levels.
................................................................................................................................................ 187
Figure 9. Responses to questions comprising the ‘Socially Wrong’ subscale. .................... 189
Figure 10. Responses to questions comprising the ‘Violence’ subscale. ............................. 190
Figure 11. Responses to questions comprising the ‘Lack of Tolerance’ subscale. .............. 191
Figure 12. Response to the only question comprising the ‘Real Life’ subscale.................... 192
Figure 13. Averaged responses to modified ASMS subscales according to age................... 195
Figure 14. Responses to questions comprising the ‘Socially Wrong’ subscale weighted for
age. ......................................................................................................................................... 197
Figure 15. Responses to questions comprising the ‘Violence’ subscale weighted for age. .. 198
Figure 16. Responses to questions comprising the ‘Lack of Tolerance’ subscale weighted for
age. ......................................................................................................................................... 199
Figure 17. Response to the only question comprising the ‘Real Life’ subscale.................... 200
Figure 18. Word frequency infographic from the Fifty Shades of Grey movie reviews. ...... 209
Figure 19. IMDB movie reviewers’ scores of the Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) movie. ....... 220

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