Table Of ContentFREE EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY • VOL. 28, NO. 12 • 2019 • THESTRANGER.COM
JJAANN FFEEBB
3300 1122
VVVVVAAAAALLLLLEEEEENNNNNTTTTTIIIIINNNNNEEEEE’’’’’SSSSS
2 JANUARY 30, 2019 THE STRANGER
THE STRANGER JANUARY 30, 2019 3
Capitol Hill
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Ballard
chocolates
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Select Edibles
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1465 e. republican, seattle
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417 nw 65th st., seattle
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VOLUME 28, ISSUE NUMBER 12
January 30–February 12, 2019
Editorial SALES OPERATIONS
MANAGER
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Taffy Marler
Dan Savage
ADVERTISING
EDITOR OF PRINT COORDINATOR
Christopher Frizzelle Bobby Anderson
MANAGING EDITOR DIGITAL ADVERTISING
Leilani Polk OPERATIONS
COORDINATOR
DIGITAL EDITOR
Nikoli Shaver
Chase Burns
ASSOCIATE EDITOR Events & Media
Eli Sanders
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
FILM EDITOR
Rob Crocker
Charles Mudede
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
COVER ART THEATER & BOOKS EDITOR Tracey Cataldo
Rich Smith
Lovebunnies by Greg Stump
MARKETING &
gstump.com STAFF WRITERS
PROMOTIONS DIRECTOR
Lester Black,
Caroline Dodge
Nathalie Graham,
5 Katie Herzog, MARKETING & EVENTS
Jasmyne Keimig, COORDINATOR
Dave Segal Kevin Murphy
FORTNIGHT
COPY CHIEF PODCASTS
What you missed if you’ve been
Gillian Anderson Nancy Hartunian
groping your lover in a hot tub
for the last two weeks. Things To Do Business
Plus: Make a special cocktail
REGIONAL CALENDAR PRESIDENT
for Valentine’s Day. DIRECTOR Tim Keck
Jamie Reed
CFO
6 ARTS CALENDAR EDITOR Rob Crocker
Joule Zelman
ACCOUNTING MANAGER
THE TUNNEL IS WORSE
MUSIC CALENDAR EDITOR Renée Krulich
THAN WE THOUGHT Kim Selling
RECEPTIONIST
Did you know they’re putting FOOD & DRINK CALENDAR Mike Nipper
an eight-lane road on the EDITOR
Julianne Bell CREDIT MANAGER/
waterfront right above it? OFFICE MANAGER
by Lester Black ASSOCIATE CALENDAR Evanne Hall
EDITOR
Elaina Friedman Technology &
7
CALENDAR ASSISTANT Development
Megan Lickhalter
THE VALENTINE’S ISSUE
CHIEF TECHNOLOGY
Love, dating, masturbation, Art & Production
OFFICER
romance, and the most secretive Anthony Hecht
REGIONAL DIRECTOR
power couple in Seattle. OF PRODUCTION LEAD DEVELOPER
Erica Tarrant Jay Jansheski
ART DIRECTOR DEVELOPERS
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY..............22 Jessica Stein Hannah Balenda,
Michael Crowl,
SAVAGE LOVE ..............................23 COMICS EDITOR Nick Nelson
Corianton Hale
THINGS TO DO ............................25
Bold Type Tickets
DESIGNERS
TTD: VALENTINE’S DAY................27 Chelcie Blackmun,
Kirk Damer, Anthony DIRECTOR OF SALES AND
ART ..............................................29
Keo, Joel Schomberg OPERATIONS
Ryan Sparks
PERFORMANCE ...........................31
Advertising
CLIENT SOLUTIONS
BOOKS & TALKS ..........................34
MANAGER
REGIONAL SALES DIRECTOR
Callan Berry
MUSIC ..........................................37 James Deeley
CLIENT SOLUTIONS
FILM.............................................49 SENIOR ACCOUNT
REPRESENTATIVES
EXECUTIVE
Grant Hendrix,
FOOD & DRINK .............................51 Katie Phoenix
Sarah VanSandt
LAUGH WHILE YOU CAN .............54 SENIOR ACCOUNT
EXECUTIVE/THEATER Circulation
Juliette Brush-Hoover
CIRCULATION MANAGER
ENTERTAINMENT
THE STRANGER 1535 11th Avenue, Kevin Shurtluff
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE
Third Floor, Seattle, WA 98122
Diana Katz CIRCULATION ASSISTANT
VOICE 206-323-7101 FAX 206-323-7203
Paul Kavanagh
SALES FAX 206-325-4865 DISPLAY ACCOUNT
Mon–Fri, 9 am–5:30 pm EXECUTIVES
Publisher
[email protected] Neal Callahan,
Darci Gatlin Laurie Saito
THE STRANGER JANUARY 30, 2019 5
Fuck Fucked
off over
fi rst up
around him
you her
me them
EDITOR’S NOTE I, ANONYMOUS
Romantic Recipes
Nothing says Valentine’s Day like a specialty cocktail. Sweep your
lover off their feet with one of these sweet sips!
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Directions
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powder Fill to top with crushed ice.
1 ounce crème de cacao Tightly screw on lid and shake.
JOHNNY SAMPSON 1 teaspoon chocolate syrup Let sit for seven minutes so fl avors
1 ounce half-and-half marry.
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technology known as pen registers and trap and dismantled as we made our way south from the
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Attorney’s Offi ce, and they have agreed to what Ingredients goodbye party. As we milled about waiting
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While at Kremwerk for a January show him of dealing drugs and took his birthday the race: Phyllis Porter, a bicyclist and com-
headlined by Dutch techno producer Martyn, money (his 21st was only a few days away), munity activist, and Christopher Peguero,
a Stranger staff er heard his bi male friend say: and supposedly neither the money nor his a City Light employee.
“I hate dancing around gays. They demand phone and belongings were returned after his
attention and always want to grope me.” That release. Find the story at the GoFundMe cam-
is the humblebrag to beat in 2019. paign Help Björn Get Civil Rights Attorney. The man who
sold the Seattle
Essential-oil-sniffi ng anti-vaxx- Blue Origin, the private aero-
ers in Clark County, Washington, space manufacturer and space- SuperSonics wants to
have contributed to the latest vi- fl ight services company founded
get Trump reelected.
Howard Schultz, the man who is responsi- ral trend: measles. At least 34 and funded by Jeff Bezos, cele-
ble for Seattle no longer having an NBA team, people in that county have tested brated a successful mission when
now wants to be the man responsible for re- positive for the preventable dis- its New Shepard spacecraft went
electing Donald Trump in 2020. Schultz ease, leading offi cials to declare a on a short unmanned test fl ight If you go to Belltown Yacht Club, the übercool
announced in a 60 Minutes interview that public-health emergency. Par- (its 10th ever) carrying at least new music venue attached to Screwdriver
he is considering funding his own indepen- ents, no matter what Jaron down eight NASA-sponsored research Bar, described in more detail by Dave Segal on
dent campaign for president. Since he is a at the co-op says, vaccinate your STEPHEN BRASHEAR/GETTY and technology payloads to sub- page 37, you’ll notice a panoply of parapher-
lifelong Democrat, this could easily siphon goddamn children. Crappuccino! orbital space and back. nalia on the walls and encased in the bar and
votes away from whoever is the Democratic table surfaces. One such artifact is a 7-inch sin-
presidential nominee and ensure the White In a classic case of too much time and too little Big shake-ups came to South Seattle’s Dis- gle by the Sonics, a pioneering garage-rock
House stays in Republican hands. But he’s a crime on their hands, Redmond police arrest- trict 2 city council race in January. Incum- band from Tacoma: 1965’s “Psycho”/“Keep A’
billionaire, so he can do whatever he wants. ed a jaywalker after he failed to stop on their bent Bruce Harrell announced he wouldn’t Knock’in.” If it’s an original pressing, it’s worth
Maybe Schultz is just giving his old Star- command, citing “obstruction of justice.” Ac- seek reelection after Tammy Morales about $80. Someday, a determined collector
bucks employees a very public webinar on cording to friends and witnesses, the young announced her candidacy. After Harrell is going to chip away at the table in which it’s
the power of white male privilege. man spent 24 hours in jail, the cops accused dropped out, two other candidates entered imprisoned and liberate that platter. ■
6 JANUARY 30, 2019 THE STRANGER
COURTESY OF WATERFRONTSEATTLE.ORG
The three-lane-wide viaduct is being replaced by a surface street that’s six to eight lanes wide.
ViaFucked
The waterfront tunnel is worse than we thought.
BY LESTER BLACK
F
ormer Seattle mayor Greg Nick- fic. So where have the powers that be decid- Trains are transformative. People will
els liked to invoke Ronald Reagan ed to put that leftover traffic that can’t fit in move into neighborhoods to take advantage
when describing the Alaskan Way the shiny new tunnel? On the waterfront! of them. The tunnel is the opposite of that.
Viaduct. “Tear down this wall!” he At the northernmost end of the waterfront, As for the state subsidizing drivers to
would say at press conferences, the new road will be only four lanes wide, take the tunnel: Yes, you read that correctly.
referencing the raised highway’s wall-like but then there’s a lane for parking on each The state is essentially going to pay motor-
qualities that cut downtown off from the side, which puts the full width at six lanes. ists to drive through this tunnel.
waterfront. When the state legislature originally
Nickels, along with a bunch of other approved funding for the new tunnel, they
Democrats, wanted to bury Highway 99 in It’s not going to look pledged to raise $400 million in the form
a tunnel in order to “reconnect our city to of tolls. But the Washington State Depart-
like a park along the
the water,” in his words. ment of Transportation (WSDOT) realized
Nickels and the rest of the gang got their waterfront. It will that they would have to charge a $4 toll rate
wish. Taxpayers are forking over what will to raise that much money. The problem is,
look more like Aurora.
likely be more than $4 billion when the last this tunnel isn’t worth $4 to motorists. It’s
bill is paid on this new tunnel. But after the a very short tunnel and it has no downtown
viaduct comes down, it will not be replaced exits. If the state charged $4 just to drive
by the rolling parks a lot of us believed we At the south end of Alaskan Way, the capac- through the tunnel, most drivers would
would be getting along the waterfront. Nor ity for moving vehicles is going to swell to choose surface streets and the tunnel
will it be replaced with new buildings or eight lanes wide. would remain empty.
vibrant street life. The fact that we’re giving cars priority WSDOT decided to charge just $1 in off
It will be replaced by a highway-like road on our waterfront is insulting when you hours and increase the toll to $2.25 during
that swells to eight lanes wide in some sec- realize what kind of mass transit we could peak hours. That means a bus ride in this
tions. The viaduct was only three lanes wide have built with the money we have thrown city ($2.75) will be more expensive than
(stacked double). Looking across the new into this car-only tunnel. taking your private car in this tunnel, and
road won’t feel like looking across the idyl- Take a closer look at the tunnel’s $3.2 sometimes a bus ride will cost almost three
lic waterfront promenade that politicians billion budget, which after more than four times the price of driving your car into the
said they would build. It will feel like look- years of delays and construction problems city. How does that make sense?
ing across Aurora Avenue in North Seattle. will likely put us over $4 billion. Put that Tearing down the Alaskan Way Viaduct
In other words, we’re tearing down our number in perspective. Building light rail should have been a monumental move
concrete wall only to replace it with a wall to Ballard will cost around $2.5 billion. away from cars and toward increasing
of cars. Building light rail to West Seattle will cost mass transit, bicycle infrastructure, and
Why are we building this infrastructure around $1.5 billion. Both of those estimates pedestrian usability—a paradigm shift in
for automobile traffic on surface streets come from Sound Transit. Seattle’s transportation network fit for the
when we just spent $4 billion on a tunnel That means this tunnel (which the state 21st century. Investing in transit instead of
exclusively for cars? Because the tunnel is needs to subsidize just to persuade drivers car infrastructure would have been better
a conceptual failure. The four-lane tunnel to use it—more on that in a second) will for the city, better for the environment,
has a far smaller capacity than the raised end up costing roughly the same amount better for the waterfront, and better for
highway it’s replacing. as it would to connect every single neigh- economic opportunity.
It lacks the viaduct’s downtown exits, borhood from Ballard to West Seattle to Instead, we’ve just built another monu-
and it cannot handle the viaduct’s bus traf- light rail. ment to cars. ■
THE STRANGER JANUARY 30, 2019 7
VA L E N T I N E ’ S
Stranger writers on love, dating, masturbation,
romance, and the most secretive power couple in the city.
INTRO BY CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE
A
s Valentine’s Day approaches, half probably get a bunch of weed, but that’s just for me.” the Mystery app, which will plan a date for you,
the staff of The Stranger is frantically Everyone’s different—just like every relation- customized to your interests: page 11.
making romantic plans, and the oth- ship is different. If you’re trying to go on a date but you have a
er half DGAF. For this love-themed issue of The Stranger, Les- 1-year-old at home, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Lei-
Among the planners, one hetero- ter Black takes a look at the most powerful couple lani Polk knows that old story all too well: page 13.
sexual said she had just “ordered a in the Pacific Northwest, Mayor Jenny Durkan and If you’re looking for some self-empowerment
gluten-free Deathcake” from Cupcake Royale that her partner, Dana Garvey. We’re not sure how they as a single person, check out Jasmyne Keimig’s
she will “probably share” with her partner. Another met, because they refused to tell us, just as they’ve gorgeous essay: page 15.
said, “Maybe wax? Get a nice wax.” Another said, refused to disclose a bunch of other things political Can astrology predict romantic compatibility?
“Trying not to masturbate.” couples usually disclose: page 9. Or is astrology bullshit? Dave Segal has some an-
In the other camp, one of the queers on staff said, If you are sick of online dating and you want ecdotal insights: page 18.
“I don’t celebrate Christmas. I definitely don’t cel- some help meeting someone IRL, you should read And what about mixed-cannabis couples—one
ebrate Valentine’s Day.” Another said, “I didn’t do up on the Offline Movement: page 16. smokes and the other doesn’t? Can it last? Katie
Thanksgiving this year. We missed Christmas. I If you already have someone to date but you Herzog, who smokes her body weight in weed daily,
think I was too drunk to celebrate New Year’s. I’ll don’t know what the hell to do together, consider weighs in: page 21. ■
8 JANUARY 30, 2019 THE STRANGER
THE STRANGER JANUARY 30, 2019 9
The Power Couple Running Seattle
What we know about the mayor and the art scholar.
BY LESTER BLACK
M
ayor Jenny Durkan doesn’t her own companies, but she very likely start-
want to talk about her private ed her life with some change in the bank. Her
life. Which is too bad, because it father was a Louisiana telecom magnate who
must be a hell of a story. sold his wireless telecommunications firm for
It’s hard to imagine Durkan’s $400 million, according to an obituary pub-
success in politics could have happened lished in the Times-Picayune in New Orleans.
20 years ago. The general public, even the Garvey also purchased a 70-acre lot on
supposedly liberal Democratic Party, was Whidbey Island for $3.4 million in 2001,
openly hostile to LGBTQ people back then. what was then the island’s most expensive
Bill Clinton signed the Defense of Marriage residential property purchase, according to
Act in 1996, instituting homophobia into the South Whidbey Record. David Kroman, a
federal law. Crosscut reporter, uncovered details about a
After decades of strong, brave women new house the couple is building in Garvey’s
blazing a trail and fighting for equal rights, name; they reportedly purchased the $4 mil-
we now live in a world where a lesbian can lion house in 2015 at an undisclosed location
become the most powerful person in a major in Seattle, demolished it, and then set out to
American city. The irony of the mayor not build a 5,000-square-foot mansion worth $7.5
wanting to talk about that is that Durkan million in its place. Crosscut didn’t publish
is herself one of those women who forced the address, noting that Durkan has received
society to change, paving the way for future death threats from her work as a US Attorney.
generations of women and LGBTQ people. The Stranger will not publish it, either.
So is Dana Garvey, Durkan’s longtime part- But it makes you wonder: What do they
ner, with whom the mayor has two children. not want the public to know? Are they hiding
anything from us? These are valid questions
to ask any political leader. Similar questions
The mayor’s office have dogged President Donald Trump since
his decision, during the 2016 campaign, not
declined to let Durkan
to release his tax returns.
be interviewed for More questions come to mind: How many
companies does Garvey own or have a stake
this story.
in? What stocks are in her investment port-
folio? Considering her wealth and her PhD
in art history, what paintings does she own?
Even though the mayor’s office declined Will a Georgia O’Keeffe or a Jean-Michel
to let The Stranger interview Durkan, we do Basquiat hang in their new house?
know some information from public records Because Durkan hasn’t voluntarily dis-
and other press reports. Durkan is one of closed Garvey’s assets, and because her office
COLLAGE ART BY JESSICA STEIN, PHOTOS: GETTY IMAGES, KELLY O.
seven kids born to a powerful Seattle-area declined to provide any information for this
Jenny Durkan and Dana Garvey have a lot of money and tremendous influence.
political family. She got her law degree at story, we have no way to know. I should reiter-
University of Washington in 1985. She rose powerful couples, if not the most powerful property” state, where your assets are shared ate: Durkan has not broken any laws by being
through the ranks of the legal profession, couple in the Pacific Northwest. It’s a story with your legal partners, according to Wayne private about her family’s finances. (Neither
starting as a public defender and eventually worthy of a book, although they’re not like- Barnett, executive director of the Seattle has Trump by not disclosing his tax returns.)
becoming the first openly gay US Attorney ly to publish it anytime soon. Durkan has Ethics and Elections Commission. These “The ethics laws on the books do bar the
in history. She later worked as a private cor- described Garvey as “unbelievably private” disclosures are intended to prevent public mayor from taking any action in which her
porate attorney, with clients like Coca-Cola (according to the Seattle Times). In addi- officials from making decisions that direct- partner has a financial interest,” Barnett
and FIFA, in a role that she has said would tion to declining an in-person interview re- ly benefit their own finances. We wouldn’t said. “There is no reason to think that she is
have paid her nearly $2 million a year if she quest from The Stranger, the mayor’s office want an official awarding contracts to their not complying with those laws.”
hadn’t become mayor. declined to answer written questions for own business, and disclosing their assets Nevertheless, she is going against the
While Durkan worked in the public sector, this story—from serious inquiries about fi- publicly helps prevent such moves. precedent set by our last two mayors. May-
Garvey broke barriers in the world of high- nancial disclosure to softball questions like “It’s about making sure that everyone can or Ed Murray’s husband, who was also a city
stakes corporate business. Garvey was a how they met and what they think of being be on guard for self-dealing,” Barnett said. employee, would frequently speak to news
senior executive at McCaw Cellular/AT&T, leaders in the LGBTQ community. “We would not want a mayor or a city coun- outlets and be photographed for stories. By
one of the country’s largest cellular commu- Even though we are referring to Garvey as cilmember or even a city employee taking contrast, few public photos of Garvey exist
nication firms during a period of momentous Durkan’s “partner,” they are not registered actions that would benefit themselves.” anywhere.
change in the wireless industry. She later domestic partners and they are not married. These laws apply to Durkan, who filed a The mayor before Murray, Mike McGinn,
launched her own start-up, D. Garvey Corp, Because of this, Durkan is able to shield Gar- financial disclosure statement in which she was so transparent with the media and the
that employed more than 255 people in the vey from much of the public disclosures that said she was worth $5.75 million (including public that he made not only his wife but
“development and construction of large-sale the spouses of previous Seattle mayors have a checking account with more than a mil- also his children available to reporters by in-
wireless networks,” according to a biogra- been subjected to. lion dollars in it and stock in Costco and a viting the staff of The Stranger to his house
phy published on the website of her latest Seattle mayors, like all city employees, are company called Nanometrics). But what for long, poorly lit barbecues in his North
venture, IconAlytics, Ltd. Garvey started required to file financial disclosure forms Garvey is worth (and what she invests in) Seattle backyard.
IconAlytics, a company that authenticates that clearly describe what they own and is anyone’s guess. Meanwhile, our current mayor and her
art, after getting her PhD in art history from their business relationships. That disclosure By all indications, Garvey is worth a lot of partner are harder to find than a sunny Feb-
the University of Washington. requirement extends to the spouses of politi- money. Not only has she worked in high-pay- ruary day in Seattle. That’s a shame, because
They are easily one of Seattle’s most cians because Washington is a “community ing corporate jobs, and not only does she own they probably have an inspiring story to tell. ■
10 JANUARY 30, 2019 THE STRANGER
A Valentine’s Weekend event!
24th annual Day of Love Concert
Join us February 14th - 16th
25th ANNUAL CREMATION SALE
Save
10%-75%
∏
“The Night of
the Black Valentine”
On February 14th, 1995
there was a fire…
∏Now we honor our resurrection
from the ashes each year.
4550 University Way NE Seattle
(206) 632-4940
www.gargoylestatuary.com
