Table Of ContentTHE MAKING OF AN
U.N.C.L.E. GIRL
"If you're going to kill a man with your bare hands, Miss Dancer, make certain
you know where the beggar's feet are. It's a mistake you won't be able to make
twice."
—Mr. Waverly, Headquarters, N. Y.
"Mais non, my dear April! Once you have made your thrust, recover
immédiatement. You will not want to be covered with the blood of your victim,
n'est-ce pas?"
—Rene de Fresnay, Master Of The Sword, U.N.C.L.E. Academy
"It's in the form of a harmless jelly compound, April. Light it and it just flares
harmlessly. But if you contain it in some tube or cylinder, it would destroy this
whole building."
—Mark Slate, Laboratory, U.N.C.L.E.
"Nitrogen narcosis, Dancer. If you stay down too long or too deep, you'll get
silly in the head. Maybe hand your oxygen filter to a shark or go dancing with an
octopus. So make certain you never go down to great depths without another
experienced diver. Got me?"
—Sam Wales, Scuba Expert, Tampa, Fla.
"No, you won't fall in love, my girl. You're in love already—with U.N.C.L.E."
—April Dancer, standing before a mirror
Other Exciting Spy Thrillers in SIGNET Editions
Where the Spies Are (Passport to Oblivion) by James Leasor.
Introducing the reluctant spy, Dr. Jason Love, in a suspense-filled adventure that
takes him from his quiet English countryside to Rome, Teheran, and Canada*
An MGM motion picture starring David Niven and Françoise Dorleac. (#P2839
—60¢)
From Russia, With Love A spine-tingling thriller about a British agent and
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(#P2728—60¢)
The Venetian Blind by William Haggard Set in London, Dusseldorf, and
Venice, a stunning tale of intrigue and romance. (#D2393—50¢)
Countdown for a Spy by Don Von Eisner A carefree vacationer on the exotic
island of Hawaii, secret agent David Denning suddenly finds himself playing a
key role in forestalling world cataclysm.
(#D2829—50¢)
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the girl from
U.N.C.L.E.
The Birds-of-a-Feather Affair
by Michael Avallone
A SIGNET BOOK
Published by The New American Library
Copyright © 1966 by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc.
All rights reserved
FIRST PRINTING, SEPTEMBER, 1966
SIGNET TRADEMARK REG. U.S. PAT. OFF. AND FOREIGN COUNTRIES
REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA HECHO EN CHICAGO, U.S.A.
SIGNET BOOKS are published by The New American Library, Inc., 1301
Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10019
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
This one is for my sister Grace,
who taught me my first steps
Table Of Operations
1. WHAT THE GIRL IS
2. SISTER AGENT
3. DEATH IN THREE LANGUAGES
4. OH, U.N.C.L.E., WHERE ART THOU?
5. THE GREAT ZORKI
6. DONT BLOW YOUR TOP
7. DANCER WITH COLD FEET
8. CLEAN SLATE
9. AWAY ALL GIRLS
10. AROUND-THE-CLOCK TERROR
11. MR. WAVERLY CALLS THE TUNE
12. I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO SPY
13. THE TWO MAD BOMBERS
14. MR. RIDDLE
15. SEND ONE MORE COFFIN
16. BYE, BYE, EGRET
For The Uninitiated
The letters U.N.C.L.E. stand for United Network Command of Law
Enforcement. This is an organization of unusual quality and outstanding ability;
its main function is to defeat the forces of global operations that seek to
subjugate civilization as we know it beneath the hell and totalitarianism of
tyranny.
To combat all the deadly isms, there is U.N.C.L.E. No other arm of counter-
intelligence and espionage exists in which the range of counter—ism endeavor is
so nonparochial and far-flung. The personnel of U.N.C.L.E. is intentionally
multinational and multilingual. All races, colors and creeds combine their efforts
to block any world power or underground organization that attempts to
unbalance the scheme of things by force.
U.N.C.L.E. is subdivided into six sections:
SECTION I: Policy and Operations
SECTION II: Operations and Enforcement SECTION III: Enforcement and
Intelligence SECTION IV: Intelligence and Communications SECTION V:
Communications and Security SECTION VI: Security and Personnel
There is a profitable overlap of one Section into another. Section II is
perhaps the most vital of all the departments in that it is there that the all-
important job of execution of the work of the other five sections truly solidifies
into reality.
For there is one country, one force, one power, whose entire raison d'être is
world domination. Out of this country has come an organization of supra-people
who seek to rule the universe and are known by the code name of THRUSH.
U.N.C.L.E. is the only answer for THRUSH.
No one has ever learned what the lettered name of a bird symbolizes.
But it is not the dove of peace. It is the bird of war. All-out, deadly, no-
holds-barred war.
U.N.C.L.E. has the men to stop them.
And the women.
