The Asperger Couple's Workbook: Practical Advice and Activities for Couples and Counsellors

146 Pages·2008·1.03 MB·English

by  Maxine Aston

Asperger
The
Couple’s Workbook
by the same author
Aspergers in Love
Maxine Aston
Foreword by Gisela Slater-Walker
ISBN 978 1 84310 115 4
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Asperger
The
Couple’s Workbook
Practical Advice and Activities for
Couples and Counsellors
M A X I N E A S T O N
F O R EWO R D BY TO N Y AT T WO O D
Illustrations by
ANTONY CORBETT
and WILLIAM ASTON
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia
First published in 2009
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers
116 Pentonville Road
London N1 9JB, UK
and
400 Market Street, Suite 400
Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA
www.jkp.com
Copyright © Maxine Aston 2009
Foreword copyright © Tony Attwood 2009
Illustrations copyright © Antony Corbett and William Aston 2009
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material
form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not
transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the
copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act
1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House,
6–10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS UK. pplications for the copyright owner’s written permission to
reproduce any part of
this publication should be addressed to the publisher.
Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil
claim for damages and criminal prosecution.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Aston, Maxine C.
The Asperger couple’s workbook : practical advice and activities for couples and counsellors / Maxine
Aston.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-84310-253-3 (pb : alk. paper)
1. Asperger’s syndrome–Patients–Family relationships. 2. Asperger’s syndrome–Patients–
Rehabilitation. 3. Interpersonal communication. 4. Marital psychotherapy. I. Title.
RC553.A88A4883 2009
616.85’8832–dc22
2008019376
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 978 1 84310 253 3
ISBN pdf eBook 978 1 84642 851 7
Printed and bound in Great Britain by
Athenaeum Press, Gateshead, Tyne and Wear
For Duckk (Quack)
Difference can only feel threatening if it exists in the absence
of acceptance and understanding.
Maxine Aston (2008)
C
ONTENTS
Foreword ..................................................... 9
Acknowledgements ............................................ 11
Terminology ................................................... 12
Using this book ................................................ 12
Introduction .................................................. 13
Chapter One
Understanding the Difference ............................ 15
The diff erent species concept; Diff erent needs; A diff erent way of
thought processing; A diff erent perspective
Chapter Two
Communication ........................................ 23
Communicating on diff erent wavelengths; One thing at a time;
Rules for giving important messages; Memory aids; Expressing
feelings; Feelings in colour; The card communication system;
Three rules for good arguing; Strategies to avoid breaking the
rules; The frustration or anger thermometer; Whole sentence
strategy; Unresolved issues
Chapter Three
Non-verbal Communication ............................. 53
Assumptions; Intonation of communication; MAD moments
Chapter Four
Social Interaction ....................................... 61
Important socialising rules; A need for a diff erent environment;
Celebrations; Arranging surprise celebrations; Getting the
context right
Chapter Five
Sexual Issues ........................................... 79
Making a partner feel special; Sensory sensitivity; Finding a new
way of sexual communication
Chapter Six
Parenting .............................................. 89
Being distracted; Understanding the kids; House rules; Sharing
responsibilities; An extra child
Chapter Seven
Home Life ............................................. 97
Special interests; Time awareness; Selective hearing; Getting the
priorities right
Chapter Eight
Who to Tell about Asperger? ............................ 111
A practical way to demonstrate communication diffi culties to a
child; A practical way to explain the eff ect of social interaction
to a child; Telling parents; Telling friends; Employers and
colleagues at work
Chapter Nine
What is Cassandra? ..................................... 121
What causes CADD?; What are the symptoms of CADD?; What
can be done to prevent CADD?
Chapter Ten
Difference Can Work ................................... 131
References .................................................... 135
Further Reading ............................................... 137
Further information and research ............................. 138
Index .......................................................... 139