Talk to the Mirror: Feel Great About Yourself Each and Every Day

258 Pages·2004·3.14 MB·English

by  Florine Mark

ffirs.qxd 5/25/04 1:43 PM Page iii
Talk to the Mirror
Feel Great about Yourself
Each and Every Day
Florine Mark
with Maria Scott
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

ffirs.qxd 5/25/04 1:43 PM Page i
Talk to the Mirror
ffirs.qxd 5/25/04 1:43 PM Page ii
ffirs.qxd 5/25/04 1:43 PM Page iii
Talk to the Mirror
Feel Great about Yourself
Each and Every Day
Florine Mark
with Maria Scott
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
ffirs.qxd 5/25/04 1:43 PM Page iv
Copyright © 2004 by M&L Online, L.L.C. All rights reserved
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey
Published simultaneously in Canada
Design and production by Navta Associates, Inc.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or trans-
mitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording,
scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976
United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the
Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to
the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923,
[phone], fax [phone], or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests
to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department,
John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, [phone], fax
[phone].
Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and the author have
used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or war-
ranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and
specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a partic-
ular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or
written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable
for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither
the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commer-
cial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other
damages.
For general information about our other products and services, please contact our
Customer Care Department within the United States at [phone], outside the
United States at [phone] or fax [phone].
Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that
appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more information about
Wiley products, visit our web site at www.wiley.com.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Mark, Florine.
Talk to the mirror : feel great about yourself each and every day / Florine Mark and
Maria Scott.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-471-63085-3
1. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Scott, Maria. II. Title.
BF637.S4M355 2004
158.1—dc22 2004005659
Printed in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
ftoc.qxd 5/24/04 1:37 PM Page v
contents
Acknowledgments xi
Part I: Taking Care of Your Best Friend—You 1
1 My Story 5
Questionnaire: First You Need a Map 15
2 There’s a Reason They Call It the Present 25
The Gift of Today 26
Things That Get in Your Way 27
Coping with Stress 28
Do You Like Yourself? 30
Focus on Things You Can Change 31
Your Daily Agenda 32
Exercise: Build a Life Pyramid 35
Some Great Resources 36
v
ftoc.qxd 5/24/04 1:37 PM Page vi
CONTENTS
3 Where Does the River Go for a Drink? 37
One Revitalizing Hour a Day 38
Team Efforts and Asking for Help 40
Know Your Limits 42
Delegate 44
Self-Test: Is Your Energy Flowing or Are You
Running on Empty? 45
Some Great Resources 50
4 The Golden Rule Gets a Makeover 51
The Golden Triangle 52
What about You? 55
The 70/30 Rule 58
Disagreements 59
Moving on from a Relationship 60
Treat Yourself Well 62
The Gift of Time 64
Exercise: How Does Your Golden Triangle Shape Up? 65
Some Great Resources 66
5 Just Being Me 67
Gaining Experience 68
Try Something New, but . . . 70
Don’t Be Afraid! 72
Choose Who YouWant to Be 73
Listen to Your Inner Voice 76
Peggy’s Story 76
Set Your Own Priorities 78
Exercise: One for You and One for Me 79
Self-Test: It’s My Life . . . Isn’t It? 81
Some Great Resources 82
Part II: When Life Throws You a Curveball 83
6 C-h-a-n-g-e—for Some People, It’s a
Four-Letter Word 87
Focus on the Benefits 89
vi
ftoc.qxd 5/24/04 1:37 PM Page vii
CONTENTS
Changes in Eating Habits 91
You Can Change, Too! 94
My Coffee Story 94
Change and Fashion 96
Decide to Change 97
Lisa’s Story 98
Silver Linings 100
Be Proud of Your Accomplishments 101
Exercise: It’s Time for a Change! 103
Some Great Resources 105
7 A Whole Lotta Choices Goin’ On 106
A World of Choices 107
Choose to Talk to the Mirror 108
Realize When You Can Choose 110
Go for It! 111
When Choices Hurt 113
Victoria’s Story 114
Sheila’s Story 116
Exercise: The Anatomy of Smart Decision Making 118
Some Great Resources 119
8 How to Beat the Blues 120
Decide to Believe in Good Things 122
Our Night at the Theater 123
Put a Positive Spin on It 124
Jackie’s and Rebecca’s Stories 126
Choose to Love the Moment 128
Self-Test: Okay, You’ve Fallen . . . Are You Ready
to Get Up? 129
Some Great Resources 131
9 Take the Distress out of Stress 132
Get Organized 134
Remember Your Agenda 135
Learn to Manage Worry 140
Keep Life in Perspective 141
vii
ftoc.qxd 5/24/04 1:37 PM Page viii
CONTENTS
When Crises Happen 143
Take Time to Recover 144
Quiet Time for You 147
Self-Test: Are You De-Stressed or Distressed? 148
Exercise: In with the Good Air 150
Some Great Resources 150
10 When Love Hurts 151
Stopping the Pain 152
Find the Source of the Pain 154
When You Need to Stop Yourself from Hurting Others 155
Nip Pain in the Bud 157
When You See Others Hurting Themselves 158
When Loved Ones Get Sick or Hurt 159
Just Be There 161
Exercise: Build a Bridge, Mend a Fence,
Make a Connection 163
Some Great Resources 164
Part III: Making Friends with Your Future 165
11 Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Am I Seeing
Me at All? 168
Weight Issues 169
Dealing with Other Issues 172
Ann’s Story 174
Weigh the Pros and Cons 176
After the Clear View Mirror 177
Your New Start 180
Exercise: When You Look at Yourself,
Are You Seeing 20/20? 181
Some Great Resources 183
12 Lighten Up—and I’m Not Just Talking
about the Scale 184
How You Look, How You Feel 185
Terry’s Story 187
viii