Moder - Free to Heal: Towards a Feminist Narrative Pastoral Theology and Praxis for Christian Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence

2019·1.2 MB·English

by  Allison K. Moder

Free to Heal:
Towards a Feminist Narrative Pastoral Theology and Praxis
for Christian Survivors of Intimate Partner Violence

A Dissertation
presented to
the Faculty of
Claremont School of Theology

In Partial Fulfillment
of the Requirements for the Degree
Doctor of Philosophy

by
Allison K. Moder
February 2019
To my mother, Susan—a fellow survivor of domestic abuse.
Your incredible courage and resiliency to survive, resist, heal, and love
is the foundation of this book.
ii
Abstract

With one-third of U.S. women experiencing violence from a male intimate partner in
their lifetime, this prolific reality is a crucial issue facing our society. Given that the Christian
church remains the largest institution in America—and also represents the nation’s increasing
socioeconomic and ethnic diversity—it is imperative that the role of religion in both perpetuating
and providing solutions to intimate partner violence be addressed. Despite the fact that most
faith-based victims seek care first—and often only—from clergy, there is a critical gap in the
church equipping pastoral leaders to respond helpfully. Indeed, most pastors have no training in
trauma-informed care for survivors, often yielding harmful results in their pastoral care. As first
responders to domestic abuse, clergy must be equipped to utilize their vital role in supporting
women towards safety, recovery, and healing from their profound trauma of abuse.
With the recent growth of research on the essential role of spirituality in the recovery of
trauma within the fields of neuroscience, psychology, and religion, this dissertation addresses a
specific research gap in understanding how Christian theology and practices of pastoral care can
help faith-based women recover from intimate partner violence. I will present a feminist
Christian pastoral theology and praxis based on my research with survivors engaging in a
trauma-informed model of Christian prayer called Inner Healing. This dissertation, then,
develops the concept of memory reconsolidation as a process of healing utilizing Christ-centered
visualization prayer employing the survivor's imagination to re-process their trauma memories in
the presence of God’s compassion and reform their identity as the imago Dei. The lens of
neuroscience and spirituality are thus integrated in accessible ways to create a model of healing
for faith communities to incorporate in their ministry with women survivors.
Table of Contents

Acknowledgements...........................................................................................................vii

Abbreviations...................................................................................................................viii

CHAPTER 1. THE TRAUMA OF IPV AND THE ROLE OF THE CHURCH.........1
Introduction..............................................................................................................1
Defining Abuse in IPV............................................................................................3
Emotional Abuse.........................................................................................3
Physical Abuse.............................................................................................5
Sexual Abuse...............................................................................................6
Financial Abuse...........................................................................................8
Spiritual Abuse............................................................................................9
The Sociological Landscape in Canada and the U.S.............................................11
Trauma and IPV.........................................................................................12
Experiences of IPV Within the Church.................................................................14
How Christian Faith Impacts Abuse..........................................................17
The Negative Effects of Faith on IPV.......................................................17
The Beneficial Impact of Faith on IPV......................................................19
The Role of Clergy in Responding to IPV.............................................................21
The First Stop: Clergy...............................................................................22
Problems with Pastoral Responses............................................................23
Spiritual Practices as a Key to Healing......................................................24
#MeToo and the Church: Breaking the Ongoing Silence......................................27
My Story as a Survivor..............................................................................27
Towards Healing....................................................................................................30
The Journey Ahead: Outline of the Chapters........................................................31
Summary................................................................................................................33

CHAPTER 2. THE HISTORY AND DEVELOPMENT OF INNER HEALING
PRAYER (IHP) AND A FEMINIST CRITIQUE........................................................34
Introduction............................................................................................................34
Ignatius of Loyola: Exploring the Historical Roots of Imaginative Prayer...........35
Introduction................................................................................................35
The Story of a Saint.......................................................................36
Visions...........................................................................................37
The Spiritual Exercises..............................................................................38
Imagination and Emotions.........................................................................41
Discernment...................................................................................43
Ignatius and the Use of Memory...............................................................43
Scripture as Memory......................................................................44
Personal Memories........................................................................46
The Daily Examen.........................................................................47
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Transformation..............................................................................50
Summary of Ignatius..................................................................................50
The Modern Roots of IHP.....................................................................................51
Introduction................................................................................................51
Agnes Sanford...........................................................................................51
Ruth Carter Stapleton................................................................................53
Leanne Payne.............................................................................................55
Francis and Judith MacNutt.......................................................................57
Rick Richardson.........................................................................................59
Brad Jersak.................................................................................................61
Summary....................................................................................................62
A Christian Feminist Theological Critique of Ignatius’ Exercises and Jersak’s
Model of IHP.........................................................................................................62
Introduction................................................................................................62
The Male God............................................................................................63
Sin and the Self..........................................................................................64
The Cross...................................................................................................65
Summary................................................................................................................67

CHAPTER 3. THE CHANGING SELF: FORMING AND REFORMING THE
IMAGO DEI.....................................................................................................................68
Introduction............................................................................................................68
Forming the Self....................................................................................................68
Christian Mystics and the Self: A Spiritual View.................................................69
Winnicott and the Self: A Psychotherapeutic View..............................................72
True Self....................................................................................................73
False Self...................................................................................................74
Abuse and the Malformed Self..............................................................................74
Trauma and the Self...................................................................................75
The Embodied Impact of Trauma..............................................................76
Shame and the Self in IPV.........................................................................77
Reconstructing the Self..........................................................................................79
The Self as Lovable...................................................................................79
The Self as Agentic....................................................................................80
The Self as Resilient..................................................................................81
Attachment Theory and Reforming the Self..........................................................82
Attachment Theory....................................................................................82
Attachment via ‘Holding’ and ‘Containing’..................................84
Abuse and the False Self................................................................86
Attachment, Recovery, and God Images...............................................................87
Revising Attachment.................................................................................88
God Concepts and Attachment..................................................................89
Androcentric God Images..............................................................90
Prayer: Restoring the God Image and the imago Dei............................................91
IHP.............................................................................................................92
Pastoral Prayer Praxis for Recovery..........................................................95
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IHP and Healing the Self: A Christian Model...........................................97
The Prayer Practice........................................................................98
Summary................................................................................................................99

CHAPTER 4. THE TELLING STORY: NEUROSPIRITUALITY AND
NARRATIVE PASTORAL PRAXIS..........................................................................101
Introduction..........................................................................................................101
Neurophysiology and Practices of Healing.........................................................102
Breathing and Mindfulness......................................................................104
Christ-Centered Imaginative Prayer: Embodied Compassion.................106
IHP...............................................................................................107
Trauma and Memory...........................................................................................108
Healing as Memory Reconsolidation...................................................................111
How Memory Forms................................................................................112
The Process of Memory Reconsolidation................................................112
Transforming Trauma Memories: Inner Healing Prayer.....................................114
IHP as a Model for Survivors..................................................................114
IHP as the Process of Memory Reconsolidation.....................................115
The Role of Narrative in Healing After Abuse....................................................118
Types of Losses.......................................................................................119
Attachment Theory and Resilience to Loss.............................................122
Grief and the Healing Narrative..............................................................124
Remembering, Speaking, and Witnessing...................................125
Reconstructing Meaning..............................................................126
Towards a Feminist Theology of Pastoral Care..................................................128
The Role of the Church in Healing..........................................................128
Summary..............................................................................................................130

CHAPTER 5. A FEMINIST PASTORAL THEOLOGICAL METHODLOGY: A
JOURNEY INTO TRAUMA RECOVERY THROUGH NARRATIVE INQUIRY
AND INTERPRETATIVE PHENOMENOLOGY....................................................131
Introduction..........................................................................................................131
A Method of Feminist Pastoral Theology...........................................................132
Narrative Inquiry.................................................................................................134
A Narrative Approach to the Self........................................................................135
A Brief Overview of Narrative Methods in Narrative Therapy..........................136
Postmodernism and Narrative Therapy...................................................136
Narrative Therapy and the Counselor......................................................137
Contributing Authors of Narrative Therapy............................................139
Narrative Therapy and Theology.........................................................................141
Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis..........................................................143
Research Design, Questions, Data Collection, and Analysis..............................145
Research Design and Questions...............................................................145
Sampling and Participant Selection Logic...............................................149
Data Collection........................................................................................150
Data Analysis...........................................................................................151
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Summary..............................................................................................................153

CHAPTER 6. TOWARDS A THEORY OF IHP AS TRANSFORMATIONAL FOR
TRAUMA SURVIVORS...............................................................................................155
Introduction..........................................................................................................155
Participants..........................................................................................................156
The Self Shaped by IPV: A Trauma-Informed Self............................................158
Participant Self-Scores: IPV-Informed Self............................................161
Shame, Self-Blame, and the Ongoing Impact of Abuse......................................162
The Self Shaped by IHP: The God-Informed Self...............................................164
Participant Self-Scores: A God-Informed Self........................................169
Finding #1—Sense of Self as Lovable................................................................169
Finding #2—Sense of Self as Resilient...............................................................173
Finding #3—Transformed Abuse Memories.......................................................177
IHP Summary......................................................................................................181
Limitations...........................................................................................................184
Important Considerations.....................................................................................186
Further Research..................................................................................................191

CHAPTER 7. CONTRIBUTIONS AND IMPLICATIONS FOR PASTORAL
THEOLOGY, CARE, AND COUNSELING..............................................................193
Introduction to Free to Heal: An IPV Recovery Program for Churches.............193
Contributions.......................................................................................................194
Feminist Pastoral Theology and Care for Survivors............................................196
Hosting the Soul: A Framework for Pastoral Care..................................196
The Social Scope of Pastoral Care...........................................................197
The Personal Scope of Pastoral Care.......................................................200
The Self in Pastoral Care Ministry..........................................................202
Praxis of Pastoral Care for IPV...............................................................205
Prevention....................................................................................205
Crisis Support..............................................................................206
Recovery......................................................................................208
Summary..................................................................................................210
Free to Heal: A Recovery Course for Survivors of IPV......................................211
IPV Recovery Course Curriculum Outline..............................................213
Course and Practices Outline.......................................................215
A Model for IHP..........................................................................216
CONCLUSION....................................................................................................217

APPENDIX A (RESEARCH PARTICIPANT QUESTIONNAIRE).....................2138

BIBLIOGRAPHY..........................................................................................................221
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Acknowledgments

As I reflect on this substantial journey of doctoral work, I am deeply humbled and filled
with gratitude for God’s love, which not only enabled me to heal from the trauma of
experiencing domestic abuse and complete this vital work, but for answering the cry of
my heart in giving me the most extraordinarily loving husband. To Ruth, Ahna, Helen, Jo
H, Natalie, Jo S, Susan, and Cali for faithfully drenching me in years of love and prayers
for my healing and my husband until God answered. I will never be the same.

There are many additional sojourners to thank as well. When I began my Ph.D. program I
was homeless, and found myself so another two times before completing this dissertation.
Melba, Bekah, and Charissa, you embodied Christ for me daily in your generous
hospitality and friendship in those challenging times, and I am forever grateful for you. I
could not have done this part of my journey without your support.

I am also thankful to my dissertation committee and professors at Claremont School of
Theology—Dr. Frank Rogers, Dr. Andrew Dreitcer, and Dr. Monica Coleman. Your
insightful feedback and supportive conversations helped refine and strengthen my work,
in addition to preparing me for best praxis with survivors of trauma. I am also indebted to
Dr. Alexander Jun at Azusa Pacific University, for teaching me narrative inquiry, and
also to the many conversation partners I had at Fuller Theological Seminary throughout
my studies: Dr. Tommy Givens and Dr. Cynthia Eriksson in particular. I am also grateful
for the numerous colleagues and friends who encouraged me in this process, including:
Dr. Joshua Morris, Ahna Phillips, for giving your incredible editing expertise to this
dissertation; Dr. Christy Sim for sharing your expertise in domestic abuse; my
conversation partners at the Society for Pastoral Theology (US) and Society for the Study
of Theology (UK), who supported my research; and to Restored, for co-labouring with
me in helping survivors. This project was only possible due to the immense courage and
vulnerability of the survivors who shared their self and their trauma with me for the sake
of the multitude of other women who might one day benefit from this research. I am
deeply grateful for each of you.

Though I am now at the end of this doctoral journey I started two and a half years ago, it
actually began over a decade ago when I studied with Dr. John G. Stackhouse at Regent
College in Vancouver, BC. He not only equipped and challenged me then towards
doctoral work, but was also invaluable in assisting my theological reflection for this
dissertation. More vitally, he helped me realize that God hates abuse, not divorce. My
freedom to heal, and the fruit of this project, is massively indebted to you.

Finally, I am grateful for the daily living embodiment of God’s extravagant love through
my husband, Dr. Gregg Moder. With you I know the life of the Beloved more fully and
truly.

Ally Moder
Los Angeles, CA
February 2019
viii

Abbreviations

IHP Inner Healing Prayer

IPA interpretative phenomenological analysis

IPV intimate partner violence

PTSD posttraumatic stress disorder

SRT Shame Resilience Theory
CHAPTER 1
THE TRAUMA OF INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE
AND THE ROLE OF THE CHURCH

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in
God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at
home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our
standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear.

— 1 John 4:18 (The Message)

Introduction

The United Nations recently posited that “violence against women…is perhaps
the most widespread and socially tolerated form of human rights violations. It affects
women of all ages, race, culture and socio-economic situations.”1 Intimate partner
violence is the most prolific form of gender-based violence globally, with 1 in 3 women
being impacted in their lifetime—and this only accounts for physical and sexual abuse.2
Despite the public notion that this is an issue isolated to developing nations or certain
minority groups, relationship violence is a deeply embedded, often hidden, and yet
profoundly traumatic reality throughout our Canadian and American context. Given that
the Christian church remains the largest institution in both Canada and the U.S.—and
also represents the increasing socioeconomic and ethnic diversity of these countries—it is
imperative that the role of religion in both perpetuating and providing solutions to

1 “Eliminating Violence against Women—it’s everyone’s responsibility,” UN Women, accessed
May 22, 2018 https://unwomen.org.au/our-work/focus-areas/eliminating-violence-against-women/.
2 “Facts and Figures: Ending Violence Against Women,” UN Women, accessed May 22, 2018
http://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures.