Grade Standard Response

48 Pages·2013·0.43 MB·English

by  Aidan Lennon

Exemplar
Scripts

1
Contents
Unit 1 Section A
“C” Grade Standard Response: pages 4 - 5
“B” Grade Standard Response: pages 6 - 7
“A*” Grade Standard Response: pages 8 - 10

Unit 1 Section B
“C” Grade Standard Response: pages 12 - 15
“B” Grade Standard Response: pages 16 - 18
“A*” Grade Standard Response: pages 19 - 23

Unit 2 Section A
“C” Grade Standard Response: pages 25 - 26
“B” Grade Standard Response: pages 27 - 28
“A” Grade Standard Response: pages 29 - 31
“A*” Grade Standard Response: pages 32 - 35

Unit 2 Section B
“C” Grade Standard Response: pages 37 - 38
“B” Grade Standard Response: pages 39 -40
“A” Grade Standard Response: pages 41 - 44
“A*” Grade Standard Response: pages 45 - 48

2
Unit 1

Section A

Personal Writing

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“C” Grade Standard Response

My favourite Saturday is the time I spent travelling through the
rocky mountains in Canada. It was a dream of mine to discover the
untouched scenery that was hidden in this area of the world and
one Saturday I woke up to find that my dream had come true.
I awoke that Saturday morning in a beautiful hotel named The
Chateau. I was enthrilled with excitment, just about containing it. I
rushed down the swirling grand staircase to see the most excuisit
vision I had ever laid eyes on. The sparkling shandaleers, the
golden harp, even the people shone with class. There was a light
clatter of hail and snow on the roof as we were escorted to our
breakfast table, then, there it was. The most gorgeous lake was
unfolded right in front of me, filled with indescribable colours and
frozen over. It was hidden away from the real world, away from all
the bad things in life, encaved between three mountains. There
was a soft clatter of snakes as people skidded across it’s frozen
top and I can safely say my favourite Saturday morning had come
true.
We hired a car and travelled through the vast mountains. It was a
glorious sight as the car rattled on the tiny roads. The mountains
were like the jagged edges of a saw, all glistened with a light white
dust at the top. I was led to believe the lake I had saw earlier was
unique, that I would never see it again. However there I was,
driving through the rocky roads, finding many more just like it. It
was engulfed with wildlife, people and animals living together in
harmony, almost like a fairytale. We drove past all sorts of wildlife,
from vigorous bears to a lightfooted deer. I was even once at the
pleasure of a moose, strolling right out in front of our car. It was a
magnificent Saturday morning.
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We then tracked our way up to the glaciers on a vehicle so big I
couldn’t see the top. Slowly we got to the few remain pieces of the
historic ice-age which are gradually vanishing into the atmosphere.
This experience was particularly important for me because it may
have been the last chance I could ever see it. Some of the
grandest scenery people have never seen however, I was one of
the lucky few.
As we travelled up to tansk we decided to go white water rafting.
This was a different kind of excitment than before. As we rushed
through the invigorating rapids I was struggling to realise if it was
fear or joy I was experiencing. Then it came to me, it was definately
fear. I was beginning to wonder if it was worth signing my life over
to someone who was encouraging me to jump off a cliff. Finally we
were in the calm, the clawing rapids could no longer reach us.
Looking back on it I will say that it was worth signing off my life, it
was one of the most thrilling experiances of my life.
Soon after we were on the road again, on our way to Toronto. As
we travelled through the dark roads, I gazed upon some of the
many sparkling lights in the sky, looking back on the best day of my
life. Whether it was the rich taste of the Chateau’s hospitality or the
frightening journey through the deathly rapids , I could say with all
my heart that this was by far my favourite Saturday.

i + ii) comp dev that engages CL3 – 9 marks
iii) basic punc CL3 – 4marks
Total: 13/24

5
“B” Grade Standard Response

Everyone loves the weekend. We all look forward to having a few
days to ourselves without the pressures of work or school.
However I can remember one Saturday in particular where I
experienced some of my favourite memories…
The day started off like any other Saturday. I got up and ready so
that I could get to my cousin, Tina’s house quickly. Every Saturday
I look forward to babysitting her cute baby girl Mia. So I hurried
down to her house with my mum. As I said before, this is just a
normal Saturday for me. Well … it wasn’t completely the same.
For once it was sunny and bright in Belfast. It had seemed to me
that everytime we planned to take Mia out it was grey and wet.
Due to it being such a beautiful day we decided to go to the
seaside.
As we got closer to the sea, it was crystal clear that this good
weather was not to be taken for granted. The view looked so
different! Instead of looking out over a mass of grey cloud and
murky water, there was a spectacular view. The sun was splitting
the trees, the unusually clear blue water could be heard splashing
playfully against the rocks. Children were screaming with laughter
as they played under the liquid gold sun. Everyone was in a good
mood in the good weather. We lay down a blanket in the grassy
area by the beach. I lay back watching the few fluffy white clouds
that floated by. Bliss. Although let’s face it. With an eleven month
old baby, I wasn’t going to be relaxing for long, was I? Mia was too
excited to just sit on a blanket. She was like a puppy, bouncing
around, wanting to play. So we went to a child’s paradise – the
park. Mia loved the swings. I think that if I had let her, she could
have stayed there all day. Before we knew it, it was lunchtime.
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That Saturday morning had been a lot of fun and it was a shame
we had to leave the seaside behind but I shouldn’t have worried as
I still had the afternoon to enjoy.
In the afternoon we knew it was too good a day to waste. So we
hopped in the car and headed to another park, which coincidently
was by the sea. However this park was much bigger. There were
large, glistening green spaces, a paddling pool for the children, a
duck pond (which Mia got very excited about) and of course a
playground with plenty of swings! We sat on our blanket again and
took in the breathtaking scenery. The waves crashed against the
cliffs as the sun beated down on us. Mia was able to practice her
walking skills on the soft green grass and I was able to relax a little
as my mum took over my babysitting duties for a while. Then we
took Mia around the duck pond for a dander. I think she would
have liked to jump in with them! She also had a lot of fun in the
paddling pool – splashing the other children and soaking me in the
process. Of course we couldn’t have left without letting Mia play on
the swings. As the sun began to fade she swayed back and forth,
rocking herself to sleep in the swing. It was time to go home.
Although my favourite Saturday was quite simple and laid back, it
was a lot of fun. It is amazing how much fun you can have with a
blanket, a park and a sunny day.

i + ii) comp dev + awareness of purp + aud CL3 - 11 marks
iii) deliberate manip. range of S.S. CL3 – 6 marks
Total: 17/24

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“A*” Grade Standard Response

My favourite Saturday did not begin as you would picture one’s
favourite day to be. Bleary eyed I awoke, momentarily forgetting
where I was and rolling off the long, cushioned seat I had chosen
for a bed. I came to the conclusion that a ferry boat was most
definitely not the best place to rest for the night; what with people
getting sea sick, loud chatter of those who clearly seemed intent on
not sleeping at all and to top it all off my ipod had died! What luck.
So there I was, musicless, half awake and sprawled out upon the
floor, not exactly my ideal morning I had to say.
I then became suddenly, and very painfully, aware of my younger
sibling who had fallen asleep on the chair opposite me, her feet
crushing my head. Needless to say I was less than pleased and in
an even less tolerable mood than I was usually in. “Catherine get
your feet off my head!” Came my slightly muffled yet irritated cry.
She awoke with a start and swung her legs, hitting me now in the
chest. Lovely. This was responded to by a loud ‘Oi!’ from my good
self which I’m sure had woken half the ship. It had woken my dad
for certain.
So after grumbling a little I pulled myself to my feet and got tea, the
rain had lifted since last night so perhaps this day wasn’t going to
be so bad after all.
After what seemed like a lifetime the ferry pulled in to Holyhead,
Wales. Trudging off the boat surrounded by the sea of other
passengers we finally made it to the car. I never thought I could
have been happier to see it in my life. Tossing our luggage inside
we clambered in to the vehicle and set off. I wish I could say it was
an enjoyable journey but, I wouldn’t really know, I slept the whole
way!
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Next thing I knew I was in my dad’s house watching him and my
step mother, Olga, pack their things and before we knew it we were
off again.
You’d think nine hours in a car to get to Scotland would be a long
and tedious journey. Well you’re right, it was, well bar the last hour
as we drew close to Glasgow. It may have taken ages to get there
but we made it. Butterflies were fluttering furiously as my stomach
knotted itself. This was finally happening. I was meeting my pen-
pal of five years for the first time, in person.
Her name is Cara, a girl the same age as me and we’re all into the
same things, talking for at least three to four hours everyday online!
I nervously stepped out of the car, she was taller than I expected
and I never really realised how long her hair was, all the way to her
waist.
After an awkward silence and a quick embrace we headed to the
laser-quest site. Me and her were a team, supposedly, against five
other teams. Personally I don’t think I’ve ever laughed more in my
life! I still think we would have won had she not shot me by
‘accident’ when I was trying to protect her!
We wandered around Glasgow, chatting away, it even seemed our
fathers were getting along well. As for Olga and Catherine, well
they ran off to shop at the first opportunity!
However sadly the day soon came to an end and a heartfelt good-
bye was in order, even though I’d see her online very soon. I took
one last wave before clambering back into the car, made even
more confined by all of Olga and Catherines’ shopping!
We stayed in a little caven-like accommodation, a cosy little place,
didn’t seem that bad at all. Then I discovered one crucial thing, no
internet, oh this would be a disaster, I am very attached to my
internet you see, well maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. My dad had
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got popcorn and brought some movies, so it was decided that we
should start a marathon seeing as the gloomy rain had come back
to get us.
Best Saturday? I certainly thought so. Then, while I was quietly
revveling in my wonderous day my father had to come in, ever so
sneakily and drag me back to reality by announcing, “Tomorrow
we’re up early, six A.M., we’re going hiking, I hear there are some
fascinating rock formations around here.” Trust the geology
proffessor to come out with something like that. Best Saturday?
Yes I think so, however, best Sunday? Well I highly doubted that.

i + ii)
conscious dev/ +ve rapport/ confid style CL4– 15 marks
iii)assured use/confident deploy of punc CL3 – 4marks

Total: 22/24

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