Table Of Content© 2007 Emerson Eggerichs
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Eggerichs, Emerson.
Cracking the communication code : the secret to speaking your mate’s language /
Emerson
Eggerichs.
p. cm.
Summary: “Shows couples how to speak to each other and give mutual understanding to
build
a successful marriage”—Provided by publisher.
ISBN-13: 978-1-59145-505-9 (hardcover)
ISBN-13: 978-1-59145-579-0 (IE)
1. Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Communication in marriage. I. Title.
BV835.E365 2007
248.8'44—dc22
2006033659
Printed in the United States of America
07 08 09 10 11 RRD 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
I dedicate this book, Cracking the Communication Code, to my son
Jonathan and daughter-in-law Sarah, and to my son David and
daughter Joy. May this message not only affect you personally but
may you tell others of this glorious secret hidden in plain sight for
2000 years! Thank you for believing in what mom and I are seeking
to say and do.
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
To Get the Most From This Book
Introduction: Is Communication Really the Key to Marriage?
PART I
A Book Within a Book
1.A Short Course on Love and Respect
PART II
Three Vital Truths for Better Communication
2.In Marriage, the Mouth Matters
3.Not Wrong, Just Different
4.Can You Trust Your Spouse’s Goodwill? (Can Your Spouse
Trust Yours?)
PART III
The Crazy Cycle:
A Relentless Enemy of Marital Communication
5.Decode—and Stop the Crazy Cycle
6.“Ouch! You’re Stepping on My Air Hose!”
7.Forgiveness: The Ultimate Strategy for Halting the
Crazy Cycle
PART IV
The Energizing Cycle:
To Better Communicate, Meet Your Spouse’s Needs
8.Enjoy Win-Win Communication on the Energizing Cycle
9.Decode—and Then Use C-H-A-I-R-S to Energize Him
10.Decode—and Then Use C-O-U-P-L-E to Energize Her
11.Dealing with the Everyday Challenge
12.More Strategies for Dealing with Communication Glitches
PART V
The Rewarded Cycle:
The Unconditional Dimension of Communication
13. Why the Rewarded Cycle Is for Every Marriage—Hot, Cold,
or Lukewarm
14. The Jesus Way of Talking—Part I
Communicating with Love and Respect
15. The Jesus Way of Talking—Part II
To Love and Respect, Use Truthful, Uplifting, and
Forgiving Words
16. The Jesus Way of Talking—Part III
To Love or Respect: Be Thankful, Scriptural-and Faithful
Conclusion: In God Always Trust
Endnotes
Appendix A
How to Get Off a Chronic Crazy Cycle Caused by Low-
Grade
Resentment
Appendix B
Forgiving—But Also Confronting—the Three A’s:
Adultery, Abuse, Addiction
Appendix C
How to Write a Love Note or Make a Good “I Love You”
Speech
to Your Wife
Appendix D
Using Feedback to Clarify Your Conversations
Appendix E
Unconditional Love and Respect Do Not Operate on a
Scale of 1–10
Appendix F
My Prayer in This Time of Trial
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I thank those who responded to my request, “How has Love and
Respect affected your communication in marriage?” The answers
were real and riveting.
I thank all those at Integrity Publishers and Thomas Nelson for
their vision to take this Love and Respect message to the nations.
I thank Joann Blunt, Joanne Tims and Ann Starke (my wonderful
sister) for their continued support and input during the writing of this
book.
I thank Fritz Ridenour, writer and editor of Christian books for over
four decades, for serving this message with intensity, industry, insight
and intercession.
I thank my godly, wise wife, Sarah, for her prayers, counsel,
affirmation, support, patience and respect over the ten months of
working night and day on this book.
I thank God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit for
revealing to the Church the simple but profound truth: husbands
must love and wives must respect.
