Cooked in LA: I Shot for the Stars and Hit Bottom

309 Pages·2009·9.18 MB·English

by  Paul Cook

C O O K E D I N
LA
I shot for the stars
and hit bottom

C O O K E D I N
LA
I shot for the stars
and hit bottom
P A U L C O O K
CLEARWATER | FL | USA
C O O K E D I N L A
Copyright © 2009 by Paul Cook.
All Rights Reserved. Published and printed in the United States of America by Kunati Inc. (USA)
and simultaneously printed and published in Canada by Kunati Inc. (Canada)
No part of this book may be reproduced, copied or used in any form
or manner whatsoever without written permission,
except in the case of brief quotations in reviews and critical articles.
For information, contact Kunati Inc., Book Publishers in Canada.
USA: 13575 58th Street North, Suite 200, Clearwater, FL 33760-3721 USA
Canada: 75 First Street, Suite 128, Orangeville, ON L9W 5B6 CANADA.
E-mail: [email protected].
F I R S T E D I T I O N
Designed by Kam Wai Yu
Persona Corp. | www.personaco.com
ISBN 978-1-60164-193-9 EAN 9781601641939
Non-Fiction/Body/Mind/Spirit/Substance Abuse/Self Help/Recovery
Published by Kunati Inc. (USA) and Kunati Inc. (Canada).
Provocative. Bold. Controversial.™
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All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.
Disclaimer: This is a work of non-fiction. All events, characters and situations described in it are real. In some instances the
author may have taken liberties with chronology in the interest of narrative flow or changed names of persons in order to protect
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cook, Paul.
Cooked in LA : I shot for the stars and hit bottom / Paul Cook. -- 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: “An inspiring and funny account of a young man’s steady descent
into drug and alcohol abuse and his fight to regain his life and his
family”--Provided by publisher.
ISBN 978-1-60164-193-9
1. Drug addicts--California--Los Angeles--Biography. 2.
Alcoholics--California--Los Angeles--Biography. I. Title.
HV5805.C66A3 2009
362.29092--dc22
[B]
2009009506
D E D I C A T I O N
For the person who needs a drink,
but knows he can’t.
.,
A C K N O W L E D G E M E N T S
Neither the book nor I would be here without my beloved Jennifer.
The same gratitude goes to my parents Mary and Terry Cook.
Thank you for your love and acceptance Jacki and Rob. Quinn and Ryan I love you.
I hope you don’t have to explore the dark places your father found.
Thank you for your time and prayers Mike Redmond.
Huge thanks to Jim Schoemehl for showing me the miracle.
Additional thanks to Angela Perelli Ebbott and Jamie Wagner for advice
on the manuscript and to James McKinnon for discovering it.
And thank you to GOD for fueling this talking, typing, twisting child.
Me happy at age six wearing a six-inch collar. I never would have guessed that
happiness would be replaced with emptiness when I hit my adult years.
6 n PAUL COOK
CHAPTER 1
Freakin’ Frozen
Obviously I will be dead in a few minutes. My mind scrambles
for answers as to how I got here. Hello? And where the hell is this
terrifying place? A sweat-drenched recliner props my body up, but
my chin stays plastered to my chest. I see a hallucination of images
of my life, pasted together like a fifth-grade collage project, resting
on my lap. The center picture shows me smiling and posing with my
beautiful, short-haired blond wife. Another mental snapshot reveals
me wearing headphones and laughing in front of a microphone.
Those pictures depict my physical reality, and they should put me
somewhere close to happy. Instead I find myself literally as stiff
as a statue. My body has completely locked up. Earlier tonight we
visited a rowdy twenty-something birthday party and it appears I
have once again taken it too far.
The standard April showers pound this late St. Louis night.
It’s 1999 and I’ve been partying this year just like the Prince
song instructs. I’m panicked, nauseated and embarrassed. This
state is called the K-hole, an undesirable, drug-induced world of
catatonia. I never thought I’d ever be here. My eyes will move,
but that’s it. Because of the ketamine, a designer drug that is used
legally as a cat or horse tranquilizer, my body has been restricted
to a complete stillness. I am frozen. The club music and laughter I
hear create a contrast to the severity of this moment. My wife Jen
keeps coming up close to my face and asking if I’m okay. I cannot
answer. I cannot move. I am resigned to the fact that I’m going to
COOKED IN LA n 7