Table Of ContentThe
3-MINUTE
Difference
ALTER Your Health, Money,and Relationships
Without Changing Who You Are
Wayne E. Nance
with William Hendricks and J. Keet Lewis
Praise for The 3-Minute Difference
“The 3-Minute Difference scores on all three subjects that challenge
Americans. Do not read this book unless you are serious about these
issues. This book calls for and demands ACTION.”
—Rich DeVos, cofounder, Alticor and owner and chairman, Orlando Magic professional basketball
team “Zig Ziglar says, ‘Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude in life.’ The 3-Minute
Difference is a fantastic book that hits the attitude nail on the head and is perfect for people who want more
success in their personal, family, business, and spiritual lives. The three-minute survey helps you pinpoint
the attitude you have while the book gives you a specific game plan on how you can take control of your
attitude, eliminate the negatives, and start achieving more of the things you want. The 3-Minute Difference
shows you where to start and then gives you a plan on how to get there.”
—Tom Ziglar, president and CEO, Ziglar
Managing life is a challenge for all of us. But if you want inspiring advice
and specific action steps that will put you on the path to potential, The 3-
Minute Difference is for you.
—Dr. Jack Graham, Senior Pastor of Prestonwood Baptist Church, Dallas, Texas “Timely advice from
excellent authors. This book has greatly helped me.”
—Judge Paul Pressler, Texas Court of Appeals (retired)
“Want to finally be thin, rich, and happy? Wayne Nance provides a
refreshingly pragmatic process to do just that.”
—Patrick Cua, executive vice president, Matria Healthcare
“The 3-Minute Difference is the best tool I have read (and it is very
readable) for understanding exactly what each person’s preferences and
motivations are and how to live a more successful life. . . . This book goes
into spiritual solutions to personal problems, and I recommend it highly.”
—Dr. Ted Baehr, chairman, Christian Film and Television Commission
“[The authors have] over twenty-five years experience assisting people in
their relationships and finances; The 3-Minute Difference is the quickest,
most effective, accurate tool I have ever used. Anyone who works with
people should put this book at the top of their resource list!”
—Bill Hawkins, president and founder, Powerwave Marketing Group
“The power of what Wayne has developed is that in three minutes you can
understand another person’s needs. It sounds simplistic but when you
experience it firsthand you learn it is a powerful pathway to instantly
build relationships at a more meaningful level. Using the 3-Minute Survey
approach has made an impact in our personal and professional lives.”
—Lynda Pitts, CEO and Preston Pitts, President, Legacy Marketing Group
Contents
Dedication
INTRODUCTION: A Crisis in America
CHAPTER 1: Why Quick-Fix Schemes Never Work
CHAPTER 2: Can You Give Me 3 Minutes?
CHAPTER 3: Your “Wiring” Floats Your Boat
CHAPTER 4: You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
CHAPTER 5: Don’t Be Had by the HADs
CHAPTER 6: A Plan for Health and Fitness
CHAPTER 7: A Plan for Financial Fitness
CHAPTER 8: A Plan for Relationship Fitness
CHAPTER 9: 91 Days to ALTERing Your Lifestyle
CHAPTER 10: The Lifestyle Ladder
CHAPTER 11: The Value of a Coach
CHAPTER 12: Navigating Your Real Life Journey
Notes
Acknowledgements
About the Authors
Copyright
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all the people who are struggling with weight, money,
and/or relationship issues. I have lived with all three of these challenges at one
time or another in my life, and I know all too well the loneliness—even
hopelessness—that one can feel in the midst of these battles. This book is meant
to bring good news and hope to anyone fighting the good fight.
A Crisis in America
INTRODUCTION:
I want you to let your mind indulge in a little bit of fantasy for a moment.
Imagine yourself in a very successful career. You’re making quite a bit of money
—well into six figures. You’ve got a gorgeous 6,000-square-foot home with a
fancy pool and a waterfall in the backyard. Parked in your three-car garage is an
imposing Mercedes-Benz sedan. On your wrist is an enormous Rolex watch, the
one with all the diamonds on it that dazzles everyone who sees it. Sound like a
life you’d care to have?
It did to me. It’s the American Dream, after all. And in 1984, I had that dream
and more. I was the kid from the poor side of the tracks who had raised himself
up by his bootstraps, got a good education, went to the big city, worked hard,
and eventually met with success.
And you know what? There’s not a thing wrong with that. If that picture is
similar to a dream you’ve always had, or a dream you’ve actually attained, I say,
“Great! Don’t give up on that dream. Keep that dream alive.”
But know this: if you had seen me living that dream in 1984, you’d have said,
“Wayne Nance has the perfect life.” But you’d have been dead wrong! Because
the truth is, my life was out of control. Meaning that I was making bad decisions
that created serious long-term consequences for my happiness, health, wealth,
and family.
Do you ever feel as if your world is spinning out of control? A lot of us do in
the post-9/11 world, with the economic downturn that followed, the disaster of
the stock market and the loss of many people’s retirement funds, the ever-
present threat of terrorist attacks, the downsizing of companies and the
offshoring of American jobs, the erosion of values as corporate scandals have
come to light, and so many other things that make us worry about the future.
Those are serious matters, for sure. But did you know that there’s a crisis in
America that actually affects more people on a practical, daily basis than any of
those “world-class” headline-grabbers? It’s a crisis that shows up all over the
place but can be seen most graphically in three areas that all of us deal with
every day: the lifestyle issues of food, money, and relationships. To put it
bluntly, way too many Americans are fat, broke, and unhappy at home and at
work. Consider:
67 percent of Americans are estimated to be overweight or obese by
Centers for Disease Control (CDC) standards.
85 percent of Americans will retire with Social Security benefits as their
only means of support. In other words, they’re broke.
51 percent of Americans are divorced. Many others remain in marriages
that might be called “psychological divorce.”
Clearly, something’s wrong in America! Especially if you overlay those
numbers on top of each other. Just imagine three pie charts showing the 67
percent of Americans who are overweight, the 85 percent who will retire
virtually broke, and the 51 percent who are divorced. Stack them on top of one
another, and what do you see? That a lot of Americans are all three—fat, broke,
and unhappy in their relationships. But that’s not the worst of it. The saddest
thing is that many people struggling with one, two, or even all three of these
problems don’t even think they have a problem! Take obesity, for example. A
2004 Associated Press poll found that six people out of ten who qualified as
overweight by government standards said their weight was just fine—healthy,
even.
Or consider this observation from the national sales manager of a company
that helps small businesses and individuals facing bankruptcy work out
settlements with their creditors: “From personal experience, I see that as people
get further into debt . . . they start making short-term decisions and don’t
prioritize their debt correctly. Eventually, they start feeling overwhelmed, give
up and go into denial.” [1]
What happens when someone goes into denial about their debt? They go
deeper in debt. They may also start eating. Indeed, The Toque, a satirical
Canadian website, imagines a VISA card issued by McDonald’s called (you
guessed it) the McVISA. The idea is that people will be more likely to eat at
McDonald’s if they can charge their Big Macs.
With that premise, the site invents twenty-two-year-old Josie Amblin, a
student who uses her McVISA card at least ten times a week! “I can’t stop,” she
confesses to a fictitious reporter. “It’s just so easy to purchase a burger and fries
with credit. I know I can’t afford to eat at McDonald’s this often, but I can’t help
myself!”
Amblin racks up $2,100 on her McVISA card, even though it only has a
$1,500 credit limit. [2]
The whole story is a spoof, of course. But it hits the nail on the head. “I can’t
stop! I can’t help myself!” That’s the cry of someone whose lifestyle is out of
control. Someone who is making bad choices that will create serious long-term
consequences for their happiness, health, wealth, and family.
In 1978, I was a poster child for being out of control in all three of the lifestyle
areas I’ve mentioned. I weighed 315 pounds (that’s fat, by the way, even if
you’re six feet, one inch tall). I was a financial advisor, but I had five credit
cards maxed out. And at home, my wife, Shannon, wasn’t exactly happy with
me because she and my daughter never saw me because I was too busy making
money for the family. At least that’s what I always told them (and myself): “I
have to work this hard to provide for our family.” Yeah, right!
I was in total denial. I was caught up in a crisis that I didn’t even see. I was
succeeding and making lots of money, and by society’s standards I was doing
just fine. Only I wasn’t doing fine. You’re not doing fine when you can’t bend
over and tie your shoes without being out of breath. You’re not doing fine if
you’re giving great financial advice to other people, but your own financial
condition is a house of cards just waiting to collapse. You’re not doing fine if
you never spend time with your family because you’ve got to keep one step
