I stared at the confirmation message with no small amount of trepidation.
After that little debacle with the secret area in the dungeon yesterday, Iâd spent a lot of the day resting⦠but also reflecting again. Mostly on my actions and how the past me from Earth would never be able to casually decapitate even a small animal, much less dungeon monsters shaped like people.
That, combined with how cavalier Iâd been about stuffing things into my soul via Soulbound Item and Fusion, began to paint a pretty grim picture for my depleting sanity.
Oh sure, I could still
to be fine, just like always, but I could tell that I wasnât. In part thanks to Jane pointing certain things out to me.
It didnât help that people in chat often goaded me into doing things that sane people wouldnât do. And in doing so, little by little, I had begun to lose something vital. My humanityâ¦? My sanityâ¦? My common senseâ¦?
Probably all of the above?
Sure, Vcubers tended to be pretty eccentric. Some might even say crazy. But for most of them, that was supposed to be an
. A show for the audience.
We were
.
But what if having to live through several life or death situations in a hostile, alien world blurred the line between what was my act and who I really was?
When Iâd first grabbed the sword in the spaceship dungeon, I had been desperate, but maybe part of me had seen it as a prop. Or maybe like a video game power-up. I mean, swords were cool and I liked being cool, you know?
Same went for the Soulbind Item. Even if I could
it, I⦠still only considered it a thematic upgrade.
But this wasnât a game. These items and skills werenât just props, they were tools to help me survive. And just like a fire could cook your meal or burn down your house, sometimes these tools could have real consequences for using them.
Like Soulbound Item.
To put it simply⦠Ebiko had been right to be worried about me fusing things into my soul like it was no big deal. Granted, I couldnât really do much about it
, unless I wanted to unequip Soulbound Item and never equip it again⦠Which, despite everything, I was reluctant to do, since Iâd spent so many skill points on it and its upgrades now.
But⦠I could at least try to be more careful with what I fused into my soul. I
try to be more careful.
And of course, there was the fact that Ebiko had been worried about me and Iâd more or less just brushed her off.
she would get pissed.
I would be pissed too if I found out that my friend had been hurting themselves while hiding it from me, and then brushed off me being worried for them.
Regardless, I wanted to wait for her to come back. And Iâd done that, but⦠it had been four days since she had last visited my stream. I was starting to get worried that I might have screwed our friendship forever.
I wanted to apologize.
And, well, I could also just message her, but that kinda felt like⦠not taking this seriously again. Like I was chickening out. I had to actually talk to her.
I took a deep breath, checked that John was indeed far enough that he shouldnât hear what I was saying, and confirmed the call.
Requesting voice call. Please waitâ¦
I immediately felt all the anxiety as I sat there and listened to the phone ringing sound, waiting for Ebiko to pick up the call.
I waited and waitedâ¦
And on the fourth ring, Ebikoâ¦
â¦rejected the call.
I felt my heart drop to my stomach.
Was this really it? Had I screwed our friendship forever? What ifâ
â¦Oh.
â¦I probably should have messaged her first anyway, huh?
Well, now I just felt double stupid.
I mentally sent her a DM and then deflated a sigh.
Dammit. I couldnât even apologize properly.
Maybe this dead world eroded not just my humanity, but also my social skills.
Hah! I had been a shut-in Vcuber! As if there had been anything to erode in the first place!
Actually⦠wasnât my current situation kinda similar to how Iâd lived back on Earth?
I was basically just all alone here in my room with my only real social contact being chat and my Vcuber friends.
It was just that my room was now world-sized and filled with weird dungeons.
â¦Yeah, that comparison didnât really work, did it?
I blinked as one of my forks delivered the DM to me. Then with a bit of trepidation, I pressed the call button again.
She picked up on the first ring.
â
â
Her tone sounded different from her usual cheer. It immediately tripled my anxiety.
âH-Hey, I⦠uh⦠Iâm sorry! Iâm sorry for⦠being a jerk. For being so thoughtless and stupid and for just brushing you off! Iâm sorry!â
There was a moment of silence after my outburst and I suddenly felt even more anxious.
Why the hell were normal relationships so hard? The parasocial ones were so much easierâ¦
â
â
â...Yeah.â
â
â
Huh?
â
â
âSorryâ¦â I mumbled again.
â
â
There was a moment of silence as I processed the feeling of warmth that someone really cared about me.
â
â
âWhat? No, you werenât! You were completely right! It was so dumb of me to just casually attach things to my soul!â
â
â I frowned and made a questioning hum. â
â
I stilled and suddenly felt very cold after that admission.
â
â
Oh.
â
â
I stared blankly at the voice call window, unsure of what to say.
â
you
already happened
â
I quietly swallowed.
âThatâs⦠Iâ¦â
It hadnât corrupted me⦠had it? I
entirely okay with the Soulbind thing yet. But Iâd gotten used to the sensation. And sure, Iâd told myself that I would be careful about what I soulbound from now on, but at the same time, subconsciously, I already planned on getting the Soul Strike and Triumvirate upgrades and soulbinding a third item. Because I needed all the power-ups I could get.
But was that just my corruption speaking�
â
â
I blinked.
âUh. What?â
â
â
â¦The heck?
Well, Iâd already known it existed, but I hadnât known Ebi had joined as well.
I frowned.
Actually, I hadnât heard much from this group beyond being told that it existed⦠Why hadnât anyone shared their findings with me?
â
â
âUh⦠locked skills?â
â
â
I opened my mouth, stopped, and then closed it.
I felt like slapping myself.
âOh⦠right. I⦠completely forgot.â
I brought out the skill list with a thought and this time willed the system to show all the locked skills again.
The window
expanded and filled with all the locked skills. It was even bigger than the first time around since now there were also all the locked tier two skills.
âOkay, uh⦠Hmm⦠I never actually tried to figure out how to unlock more of these skillsâ¦â
I mentally prodded a random locked skill to tell me what I had to do to unlock it.
To my surprise, I actually got an answer.
I stared at it for a moment before trying another skill, only to get the same message. I tried a couple more, hoping some of them were locked for a different reason, but no luck.
I sighed.
So there was no way to unlock any of them? Well, dammit. Why even show them at all then? Stupid systemâ¦
âUh, so I just checked,â I said out loud. âIt says âYou donât have the racial skill required for this skillâ when I try to prod any of the locked skills, soâ¦â
â
â She sounded as disappointed as I was. â
â
I hummed in agreement.
âYeah, that would have been nice⦠Ugh. Thatâs so dumb! So the racial skill decides everything then? What does it even mean? Why is
tied to streaming?!â I ranted.
Was it some kind of joke about streamers selling out their soul for sponsor deals or something?
â¦No, that was probably thinking too much into it.
â
â Ebiko suddenly asked, halting my annoyed internal monologue.
â...Huh. Maybe?â My eyes went wide. âMaybe thatâs what the rifts do! Or the limit break! They give more racial skills!â
â
â
âThatâs true, I guessâ¦. But maybe itâs like quests! With hidden objectives that give extra rewards or something!â
â
â she exclaimed before pausing for a moment. â
â
I grimaced.
âWell, no⦠I⦠I feel like I have to do it at
point, butâ¦â
I still felt apprehensive about it, obviously.
â
â
I nodded, finding myself smiling.
âAlright! Thatâs⦠yeah, okay.â
â
â
âNo, itâs just⦠Thanks, Ebi. I⦠You know, I was just really worried after we last talked. Worried that you never wanted to talk to me again.â
â
I
I couldnât help it, I laughed a little.
âIâm glad⦠Iâm so gladâ¦â
I sniffed, blinked, and then noticed my vision getting blurrier and liquid flowing down my cheeks.
Huh�
Why was I crying�
â...
â
I quickly wiped my face, thankful that she couldnât see me, and did my best to hide what just happened.
âYeah?â I said, doing my best to keep the moisture out of my voice.
â
â
Ah, dammit. The tears were flowing again.
Was this what it was like to have someone truly care about you?
It felt⦠really nice.
I could get used to the feeling.
âSorry, I just⦠thanks. Really, thanks, Ebi.â
â
â
Ah, parasocial relationships had nothing on having real friendsâ¦
âYeah! Screw this world! Iâm getting back home even if it kills me!â I exclaimed, probably loudly enough that John heard me.
â
â she chastised me, but I could hear the joking tone in her voice.
We laughed and talked for quite a while longer after that.
I felt lighter, happier, and more determined than ever to succeed. Although when I brought up the incausal rifts again, Ebiko had something to say.
â
â
âSomething else?â
âYeah, so
â
I frowned.
âLike, whatâ¦?â
â
â
I hummed and did as instructed.
- Complete your first incausal rift.
âHuh.
? Hmm⦠Okayâ¦â
There were some mildly concerning implications there.
After all, Iâd thought that these rifts would let me go back in time, but âcompletingâ one would imply that I would do something in the past and then⦠what? It would spit me back here?
Also, âyour
incausal riftâ?
â
â
I went silent as I read the achievement name, feeling mildly disturbed, but searched for them anyway.
- Complete your second incausal rift.
Tier four achievement. It⦠had more weird implications. Firstly, it more or less confirmed that these incausal rifts allowed time travel, but alsoâ¦
What was up with that name? Who
the achievements text, anyway? Who was the âIâ in that achievement name?
The fate weaver, right? It had to be.
But then⦠That would meanâ¦
â
â
I felt a chill go down my spine as I heard the achievement name.
Numbly, I scrolled to the tier five section and found the achievement anyway, though.
- Complete your third incausal rift.
I stared at it for a while in stunned silence. Ebiko might have been talking, but I couldnât hear her. My full focus was on this absolutely cursed achievement name
with implications.
âEbiâ¦â I said, my throat dry. âWhat the fuck does this mean?â