Table Of ContentFAMILY THERAPY IN CHANGING TIMES
BASIC TEXTS IN COUNSELLING
AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Series Editor: Stephen Frosh
This series introduces readers to the theory and practice of counselling and psychotherapy
across a wide range of topic areas. The books appeal to anyone wishing to use counselling and
psychotherapeutic skills and are particularly relevant to workers in health, education, social work
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Published
Jenny Altschuler
WORKING WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS
Bill Barnes, Sheila Ernst and Keith Hyde
AN INTRODUCTION TO GROUPWORK
Stephen Brigger
WORKING WITH ADOLESCENTS
Alex Coren
SHORT-TERM PSYCHOTHERAPY
Emilia Dowling and Gill Gorell Barnes
WORKING WITH CHILDREN AND PARENTS THROUGH SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
Loretha Franklin
AN INTRODUCTION TO WORKPLACE COUNSELLING
Gill Gorell Barnes
FAMILY THERAPY IN CHANGING TIMES (2nd edn)
Sally Hodges
COUNSELLING ADULTS WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES
Ravi Rana
COUNSELLING STUDENTS
Paul Terry
WORKING WITH THE ELDERLY AND THEIR CARERS
Jan Wiener and Mannie Sher
COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY IN PRIMARY HEALTH CARE
Shula Wilson
DISABILITY, COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY
Invitation to authors
The Series Editor welcomes proposals for new books within the Basic Texts in Counselling
and Psychotherapy series. These should be sent to Stephen Frosh at the School of
Psychology, Birkbeck College, Malet Street, London, WC1E 7HX (e-mail [email protected])
Basic Texts in Counselling and Psychotherapy
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Customer Services Department, Macmillan Distribution Ltd
Houndmills, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 6XS, England
F T
AMILY HERAPY IN
C T
HANGING IMES
SECOND EDITION
GILL GORELL BARNES
palgrave
macmillan
© Gill Gorell Barnes 1998, 2004
All rights reserved. No reproduction, copy or transmission of this
publication may be made without written permision.
No paragraph of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted
save with written permission or in accordance with the provisions of the
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as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First edition 1998
Second edition 2004
Published by
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PALGRAVE MACMILLAN is the global academic imprint of the Palgrave
Macmillan division of St. Martin’s Press, LLC and of Palgrave Macmillan Ltd.
Macmillan® is a registered trademark in the United States, United Kingdom
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ISBN 978-1-4039-0472-0 ISBN 978-1-4039-3892-3 (eBook)
DOI 10.1007/978-1-4039-3892-3
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C
ONTENTS
Acknowledgements ix
1 What is Family Therapy? Patterns of Living,
Patterns of Mind and Patterns of Therapy 1
The systemic approach 2
Families in transition 4
Stressful life events and family life: patterns of stress
and patterns of affirmation 5
Patterns and problems over time: changing
constraints and developing new solutions 7
Historical and current dimensions 8
Family systems, transitions and non-biologically
connected families: implications for a family therapist 9
Rethinking family bonds: diversity, intimacy
and identity 11
How do cultural values underpin family life? 12
Culture, gender and development 13
What is the job of the family therapist? 13
Listening to families and to the the family in individual
stories: internal and external discourses 14
The family as the template for intimate relations:
three ways of looking at what goes on 16
Summary 19
2 Changes in Families: Theories in Change 21
Systems thinking, family pattern, family coherence,
and dominant discourses 21
The Xavier family 24
The therapist’s thinking 30
Influences from structural family therapy
in the Xavier family session 31
The Riordan family 33
The Milan approach 37
Moving forward with theory 40
v
CONTENTS
3 Culture, Diversity and Developments (1): Rethinking
Contexts for Growth and Change 47
The family and life cycle ideas: a pluralistic approach 47
Multiculturalism and diversity 49
Gay and lesbian families: diversity and homophobia 50
Culture and changing micropractices: keeping up
with change 51
Ethnicity, culture, migration and family change 54
Refugees and family work 56
Creating conditions of safety 57
Changing gender roles for men and women 60
Racism in daily life, and in the therapeutic context 62
Gay and lesbian families: similarities and differences
in life cycle issues 64
Life cycle rituals: new constructions 66
Poverty and stresses 68
Factors that buffer individuals against stress 70
Intimacy and resilience 72
Summary 73
4 Culture, Diversity and Development (2): Loss
and Transitions in Childhood 74
Communication and loss 76
Variations in childcare patterns and the
loss of intimacy 80
Loss and adaptation 81
The importance of a safe place: former loss and current
parenting 84
Transitions and second families 87
Adoption 87
Young adults who have grown up in second families 91
Theories of child development 92
5 Families, Divorce and Post-Divorce Family Work:
Mothers’, Fathers’ and Children’s Perspectives 94
Keeping life predictable and maintaining self-esteem 96
Ambiguities in post-divorce relationships: 98
Residence and contact: parents and children
in the post-divorce family 99
Acrimony and hostility 99
Parenting alone 103
Fathers; parenting in the context of ‘contact’ 105
Secrets and silence in post-divorce narratives 110
vi
CONTENTS
‘Holding on to the bubble’ – uncertainty about
arrangements 114
Bearing the family in mind 116
Separation when children are very young 117
The Juniper/Rowan family: early separation,
attachment issues, and the restoration of contact 119
Summary 127
6 Step-Families 128
What is a step-family? 128
Boys’ and girls’ ways of dealing with family distress:
similarities and differences 131
Lesbian and gay partnerships 133
The extended family 135
Economic tensions 138
Stepmothers and mothers: trying to get it right 139
Stepfathers and fathers 142
7 The Family and Mental Illness 147
Cultural and family factors affecting descriptions
of illness 147
Professional approaches to family work with
major mental illness 150
Work focusing on patterns of communication 151
Family descriptions and self-description 153
Family relationships and different illness processes 155
Mental illness and external realities: social factors 163
Children of chronically ill parents: protective factors
and ‘being alright’ 165
Dementia in the elderly 167
8 Violence in Family Life 169
The ‘carry forward’ of patterns 171
The Wade family 172
The O’Rourke family 180
The use of language 180
Post-divorce issues 183
Family violence and traumatic effects on children 184
9 Sexual Abuse in Childhood and Some Effects
in Adult Life 190
Boundaries of trust in therapeutic work 190
Therapy with a man: some considerations 192
The therapist as another woman 194
vii
CONTENTS
Traumatic, formless and perverse events 195
Early work in therapy: the written word 195
Confronting the voices of others in therapy:
parents and children 197
Maeve: using workmates and children to create
alternative voices 199
Talking with children about sexual abuse 202
10 Doing the work and making a difference 205
Study your own coherence 205
A theory you can live and work by 205
Attention to text 206
The wider world and family life 207
Attention to the fragility of relationships 209
Keeping an eye on oneself 210
The family as template for intimate emotions 210
What do we mean by resilience? 211
References 212
Index 226
viii
A
CKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to thank all colleagues on whose research and ideas
Ihave drawn in the second edition of this book; and in particular
those with whom I shared clinical work, research and writing over
the last five years: Charlotte Burk, Gwyn Daniel, Emilia Dowling,
Gwynneth Down, Salvador Minuchin, Damian McCann. Renos
Papadopoulos, Gerrilyn Smith, Jeremy Woodcock and the family
team at the Medical Foundation; Lee Wai Yung and the family
teams in Hong Kong and Beijing. I would especially like to thank
my colleague and husband Alan Cooklin in the clinical work and
teaching we continue to share and for encouraging me to link
systemic practice and work in the family justice system. Thank
you Liz Kyria Kides for your patient typing over the years and for
helping to produce this text.
GILL GORELL BARNES
ix
