Torpedo Juice

390 Pages·2006·0.85 MB·English

by  Tim Dorsey

For Jack Simms, Jerry Brown, and Ruth Brittin
This is funny.
—“Doc” Holiday’s last words, 1887
Contents
Epigraph
Acknowledgments
Prologue
They found the body crucified upside down
on the side… 1
Part One 7
Chapter One
It was another typically beautiful morning
in the middle… 9
Chapter Two
A dozen police cars with flashing lights
filled the parking… 18
Chapter Three
Dark and deserted on the Florida Turnpike,
the part of… 30
Chapter Four
The inside of the ’71 Buick Riviera smelled
like greasesmoke. 43
Part Two 51
Chapter Five
The gang hunkered atop tall stools. A stuffed
bear in… 53
Chapter Six
The no name Pub’s screen door flew open. 64
Chapter Seven
The sun rose on a viciously humid morning
at the… 77
Chapter Eight
A pair of Monroe County sheriff’s deputies
stood in the… 85
Chapter Nine
The petite woman sitting in the rear of the
No… 91
Chapter Ten
A’71 Buick Riviera sat in the parking lot
of the… 96
Chapter Eleven
A loud crash. 104
Chapter Twelve
Serge combed his hair as he drove. He pulled
up… 110
Chapter Thirteen
The petite woman took off her sunglasses
for the first… 119
Chapter Fourteen
A big white Mercedes with tinted windows
drove past the… 129
Chapter Fifteen
The gang in the No Name Pub gave up
trying… 134
Part Three 143
Chapter Sixteen
Pssst! 145
Chapter Seventeen
A TV Reporter stood on the edge of U.S. 1. 152
Chapter Eighteen
Serge stared in the bathroom mirror,
admiring his torn and… 157
Chapter Nineteen
This is eyewitness five correspondent
Maria Rojas outside the Miami… 165
Chapter Twenty
A’71 Buick Riviera crossed the bridge to
Upper Matecumbe and… 178
Chapter Twenty-One
A white jaguar with a blue tag hanging from
the…. 186
Chapter Twenty-Two
Deputy Walter St. Cloud arrived at the
sheriff’s substation for the… 192
Chapter Twenty-Three
A police siren ripped through the starry
night, island to… 207
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sunlight streamed into the trailer. Brenda’s
eyelids fluttered. 215
Chapter Twenty-Five
Serge was a wreck. He paced back and
forth at… 229
Chapter Twenty-Six
Serge had slept all night in his white tux.
At… 237
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Another traffic jam in Marathon. The airport
crowded with people. 247
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The honeymoon was a corker. 250
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The no name pub’s screen door flew open. 261
Chapter Thirty
The cocaine use was clearly out of control.
He’d called… 266
Chapter Thirty-One
During the first few weeks of wedded bliss,
Molly asked… 270
Chapter Thirty-Two
The night wore on. Only a few fishermen
left on… 276
Chapter Thirty-Three
Captain Florida’s log, star date 385.274 285