Around India in 80 Trains

259 Pages·2012·1.61 MB·English

by  Monisha Rajesh

AROUND
INDIA
IN
80
TRAINS
Praise for
Around India in 80 Trains
“A wonderfully wry and witty debut. Crackles and sparks with life
like an exploding box of Diwali fireworks.”
William Dalrymple, author of The Last Mughal
“A great big lovely shambling train ride of a book, offering wonderful
views, hilarious interludes, all sorts of dodgy characters and some
very peculiar smells, all for the one ticket.”
Giles Coren, bestselling author and Times columnist
“One can only envy Monisha Rajesh as she embarks on this epic
journey through the vast tangle and bewildering extension of India’s
railways. The ticketing bureaucracy is mad, the travelling companions
infinitely varied, the pleasure, discomforts and revelations such that
she is guaranteed what even the wriest and most sceptical traveller
yearns for: some deeper knowledge of oneself.”
Tim Parks, travel writer and Booker Prize nominee
“I love train trips and I love travelling around India. If you do too,
then this book is a wonderful companion.”
Irvine Welsh, author of Trainspotting
First published in the UK by
Nicholas Brealey Publishing in 2012
20 Park Plaza
3–5 Spafield Street
Boston
Clerkenwell, London
MA 02110, USA
EC1R 4QB
Tel: 888 BREALEY
Tel: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
www.nicholasbrealey.com
www.80trains.com
© Monisha Rajesh 2012
The right of Monisha Rajesh to be identified as the author of
this work has been asserted in accordance with the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
ISBN: 978-1-85788-595-8
eISBN: 978-1-85788948-2
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording and/or otherwise without the prior written
permission of the publishers. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or
otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form, binding or cover other than
that in which it is published, without the prior consent of the publishers.
Train illustrations by Sroop Sunar
www.sroopsunar.com
Other illustrations by Kriti Monga
www.turmericdesign.com Printed in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc.
First published in the UK by
Nicholas Brealey Publishing in 2012
20 Park Plaza
3–5 Spafield Street
Boston
Clerkenwell, London
MA 02110, USA
EC1R 4QB
Tel: 888 BREALEY
Tel: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
www.nicholasbrealey.com
www.80trains.com
© Monisha Rajesh 2012
The right of Monisha Rajesh to be identified as the author of
this work has been asserted in accordance with the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
ISBN: 978-1-85788-595-8
eISBN: 978-1-85788948-2
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording and/or otherwise without the prior written
permission of the publishers. This book may not be lent, resold, hired out or
otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form, binding or cover other than
that in which it is published, without the prior consent of the publishers.
Illustrations by Kriti Monga
www.turmericdesign.com
Printed in the UK by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc.
For Baby Rajesh, who is still on board.
May all your journeys be filled with adventure.
Contents
Prologue
1. All Aboard the Insomnia Express
2. Guantanamo Chic and the Perils of Wearing Shoes
3. A Royal Affair
4. ‘Excuse Me Darling, I Have a Message for You’
5. Hindus Only Allowed
6. Super-dense Crush Load
7. Sexual Healing
8. The Crazy White Man in the Cupboard
9. Sunburn and Spasms
10. Oh My Dog!
11. The Venus Flytrap of Insanity
12. Toy Trains and Afternoon Tea
13. City of Gins
14. Monty Python at the Wagah Border
15. Silk Sheets and a Wad of Human Hair
16. God Bless the NHS!
17. A Taste of Rocky Road Ice Cream
18. Bullets over Brahmaputra
19. The Temple of Doom
20. Losing My Religion
21. Answered Prayers
Snakes and Ladders
Glossary
Acknowledgements
About the Author
AROUND
INDIA
IN
80
TRAINS
Outline map © Daniel Dalet/d-maps.com
THE 80 TRAINS
1 Anantapuri Express from Chennai to Nagercoil
2 Passenger train from Nagercoil to Kanyakumari
3 Himsagar Express from Kanyakumari to Trivandrum
4 Trivandrum-Mangalore Express from Trivandrum to Mangalore
5 Matsyagandha Express from Mangalore to Madgaon
6 Mandovi Express from Madgaon to Mumbai
7 Indian Maharaja-Deccan Odyssey from Mumbai to Delhi
8 Visitors’ train: The National Railway Museum in Delhi
9 Kerala Express from Delhi to Kottayam
10 Sabari Express from Kottayam to Coimbatore
11 Nagercoil Express from Coimbatore to Madurai
12 Nagercoil-Chennai Express from Madurai to Trichy
13 Passenger train from Trichy to Thanjavur
14 Trichy-Nagore passenger train from Thanjavur to Nagapattinam
15 Passenger train from Nagapattinam to Trichy
16 Passenger train from Trichy to Chennai
17 Charminar Express from Chennai to Hyderabad
18 Hyderabad-Mumbai Express from Hyderabad to Mumbai
19 Local train from CST to Parel
20 Local train from Parel to CST
21 Local train from Churchgate to Andheri
22 Local train from Andheri to Churchgate
23 Koyna Express from Mumbai to Neral
24 Toy train from Matheran to Neral
25 Deccan Queen from Mumbai to Pune
26 Pune-Nizamuddin Duronto Express from Pune to Delhi